It's Monday and I really cannot think of anything that is going to make me happy this week.
So, today I'm unhappy that this week I'm finishing up a redesign of a project that had it's budget cut in half but the scope wasn't reduced at all, thus a resulting project I'm not very proud of.
Unhappiness, like happiness, is a state of mind, an outlook, an attitude. It's an action, not a reaction.
"Things" don't make us happy, or unhappy. Witness innumerable wealthy celebrities who have the wherewithal to have and do anything, go anywhere, attract anyone. Yet how many of them appear to spend much of their time self-destructing?
Things may please or displease us, it's true. But our response to outside forces is our choice. Happiness is a decision, not an emotion.
I too am quite depressed this morning. My clothes dryer is broken so all my laundry is dirty and I am wearing clothes that don't fit because they were clean. I also didn't have my alarm set for this morning and woke up way too late which resulted in no shower, no make-up, no breakfast, no espresso and late to work with e-mails and notes and voice mails for people looking for me this morning. I'm half-awake and have sleep colics in my hair. I HATE not showering before work. I get into work and realize I have a whole lot of very undesireable, technical, no good-answer type stuff that I have to do cause I didn't do it on Friday.
Do I respond to another RFP as a small firm with all the capbility to do the job and get steam rolled by a large corporate firm, or not. Busy as hell with lots of work. Love to get the job but not a very good chance given the usual suspects are horning in on it. Most frustrating part of the job. Its like banging my head against a wall.
Talk to my associates about working with me on it, if they're in I guess I gotta go too. There goes another week of not making any money.
...you want 'unhappy'...a girl that i thougth i was falling for just told me (last night) that she's not sure she has any feelings for me, or that she ever could. it's like an open axe wound in my chest.
not architecturally related, but it's affecting my output today.
shit, so much for trying to love for once in your life...
yeah, i've had 3 at a time before...even 4.. but i wanted this one. she was special. and now i'm alone. i hope that every time my phone rings in the office, or an email comes my way, it will be her. ugh!
been there....got told once by the girl I was interested in that she couldn't go out that night, then ran into her at a party later that night, this is where it gets interesting. The party was held at this other girls house who wasn't on the radar at the time, now she's on my radar all the time, and I get to sleep with her everynight....been married to her for 11 years. Funny thing is the other girl married my buddy who was my best man about 5 years later.
whistler: are you saying that i'll bump into the woman of my dreams soon? hehehehehehe.
yeah...i agree...always another 'fit' around the corner. but this one will sting forever.
on a related note:
is post-graduation depression normal in the profession? I'm about 99.9% positive that its the source for my unhappiness (the other 0.1% is my parent's divorce after 30 years together)
I'm often daydreaming of studio and the chance to be creative while I'm supposed to be drawing wall types and toilet details...
I'm in the same boat as you Stawbeary. I've been taking meds for depression for years now, but this whole lack of creative outlet thing is really getting to me. And with the area I'm in, there are no options as far as doing my own side work, etc., and I don't have the money yet to move back to Boston...
Thank god I can live vicariously through my girlfriend thats still in architecture school.
dont get me wrong, i love not knowing things, asking questions, and feeling dizzy from an overall retardation when it comes to architecture in general, but i have been the office bitch too long.
i ask questions, because i dont know, my peers get pissed cause 'they are under a crunch', then i try to do it myself, my peers get pissed because i didnt ask them how to do it.
wtf
anyone feel the pain? what should i do?
i came from a school from which i made a good name for myself, i was smart, design 'savvy', and an overall good guy. maybe my ego became alittle too big at school, but here in the real world, i have to suck it in and go with the flow. i am not used to the office geeks laughing and dishing it out because they were geeks as long as they can remember and finally are given the chance to pay everyone back for their crappy existance.
i only feel my numbness when i'm touching you
it doesn't really bother me
but every now and then
i get that feeling again.
i've been looking at italian Architectural websites in search for a firm to work in either milan or my hometown, bologna.
i am considering moving back to italy once i graduate (i'm in london) but the scene back home is dead...i saw some of the drawings submitted for international competitions and they were laughable. literally ridiculous.
so i'm pretty unhappy, because the love of my life is back home, my friends are there, and life is so much better there, but i don know if i could or should give up the prospect of an exciting job somewhere else in the world for this.
would i be able to live without being satisfied by the Architecture i produce?
So i'm trying to find a scenario that would integrate the two, but it feels strange and slightly wrong to make plans for someone else's life (my girlfriend). and i'm pretty unhappy if i think about it. i mean, is no big deal, but it pisses me off slightly.
i guess i will just go back and become the only starchitect in italy. and stop koolhaas and hadid from getting all the comissions.
it is easier to be good when you are among the good, but it is easier to be great is you are among the lesser ones, i think.
Pixelwhore - I think you might be onto something with the post-graduation depression thing...just mine might be delayed. I came out enjoying work because I was making some $$ and working less hours than I did with studio and work combined. Now I'm just depressed but bad clients, have the partner in the corner office cut up my designs, shitty project budgets that can't afford anything. I liked that fake world of studio where I could do whatever I wished.
Oh, and I've lost relationships because of my depression at time.
I also live in the north and never see the sun.
And I drink because I'm unhappy. Isn't it normal to drink an entire bottle of wine by yourself?
I wasn't depressed at all through school. Was a little in high school. Was alright my first year of office work. Then a turn for the worse. I didn't think I was learning, improving. I didn't think I'd ever be good at what I do. I was in the wrong firm and the wrong city. I even took a leave of absence due to sheer hermit depression. Translation: I wouldn't leave the house and eventually stopped showing up for work. Just like that. Just didn't go, I was willing to suffer the consequences and ready to ditch the architecture career for good. My husband called a psych in the phonebook and got me an appointment. The psych had to call my boss and tell them why I hadn't been showing up for work and that I needed to take a leave of absence. I took 6 unpaid weeks off. I came back on a Monday, was laid off that Friday. How much can a chica take? Get this - rehired 4 weeks later with a 10% raise. HA! Raises for other emplyees were supended that year due to the company being in the red.
Anyways, I am doing so much better. Gotta keep the tude upbeat, no negative thinking. Coming out of architecture school I was so damn critical of everything how could I not be depressed? I didn't realize how self destructive I was to myself. Now that I know, I can work on it.
I am very unhappy because I have had to decline 3 holiday party invitations due to work! Do you think that architects/designers tend to be depressive? And which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I would say that architects are generally depressive. We have high work relates stress, higher rates for divorce and alcohol/substance abuse. Sounds to me like a potion for depression, then again, I'm not always depressed. Being in the office on a Sunday morning is kinda relaxing in a way.
well, stephanie, why don't you go to a bookstore and talk to the first guy that walks near the architecture section. you might make his day, and at least you've given yourself a little charge of adrenaline. love, archinect.
(can i get in trouble for impersonating archinect?)
So 'plainjane', who made you unhappy?
Where does he live? I’ll send him a pizza...one which he didn't order BUT will be forced to pay for once it hits his doorstep. I
t’ll be so diabolical that he'll be ruined for life!!!!
unhappiness
It's Monday and I really cannot think of anything that is going to make me happy this week.
So, today I'm unhappy that this week I'm finishing up a redesign of a project that had it's budget cut in half but the scope wasn't reduced at all, thus a resulting project I'm not very proud of.
In my humble opinion...
Unhappiness, like happiness, is a state of mind, an outlook, an attitude. It's an action, not a reaction.
"Things" don't make us happy, or unhappy. Witness innumerable wealthy celebrities who have the wherewithal to have and do anything, go anywhere, attract anyone. Yet how many of them appear to spend much of their time self-destructing?
Things may please or displease us, it's true. But our response to outside forces is our choice. Happiness is a decision, not an emotion.
I too am quite depressed this morning. My clothes dryer is broken so all my laundry is dirty and I am wearing clothes that don't fit because they were clean. I also didn't have my alarm set for this morning and woke up way too late which resulted in no shower, no make-up, no breakfast, no espresso and late to work with e-mails and notes and voice mails for people looking for me this morning. I'm half-awake and have sleep colics in my hair. I HATE not showering before work. I get into work and realize I have a whole lot of very undesireable, technical, no good-answer type stuff that I have to do cause I didn't do it on Friday.
Do I respond to another RFP as a small firm with all the capbility to do the job and get steam rolled by a large corporate firm, or not. Busy as hell with lots of work. Love to get the job but not a very good chance given the usual suspects are horning in on it. Most frustrating part of the job. Its like banging my head against a wall.
Talk to my associates about working with me on it, if they're in I guess I gotta go too. There goes another week of not making any money.
...you want 'unhappy'...a girl that i thougth i was falling for just told me (last night) that she's not sure she has any feelings for me, or that she ever could. it's like an open axe wound in my chest.
not architecturally related, but it's affecting my output today.
shit, so much for trying to love for once in your life...
GRASPIN DONT BE UNHAPPY! go out and get another... hell get three!
this is great monday reading.... misery loves company
yeah, i've had 3 at a time before...even 4.. but i wanted this one. she was special. and now i'm alone. i hope that every time my phone rings in the office, or an email comes my way, it will be her. ugh!
fade to black, baby...
graspin
i've personally found some solace in jay-z's etude of "99 problems"
been there....got told once by the girl I was interested in that she couldn't go out that night, then ran into her at a party later that night, this is where it gets interesting. The party was held at this other girls house who wasn't on the radar at the time, now she's on my radar all the time, and I get to sleep with her everynight....been married to her for 11 years. Funny thing is the other girl married my buddy who was my best man about 5 years later.
I got the better deal.
That's small town living
lol...well, i lovz me da jigga man, but in this case, i'm not sure he'll help.
i think i'll just keep 'soma' by the smashing pumpkin's on full repeat.
whistler: are you saying that i'll bump into the woman of my dreams soon? hehehehehehe.
yeah...i agree...always another 'fit' around the corner. but this one will sting forever.
elliot smith is the epitome of sad bastard music. give it a try, won't make you feel better, but it will let you know that life sucks sometimes. rip
graspin you need to read some of this ish...
http://www.fastseduction.com/
turn off the buttrock
You could be Scott Peterson!!!!!!
wa? me?
scott is a fool!
today i am still unhappy! someone get me out of this funk!!!!
Yeah, well yesterday I was told that I'm too negative.
I was told I needed to be more bubbly and enthusiastic.
You gotta wonder if they'd tell a guy to be 'bubbly'. Give 'em hell, Strawbeary.
exactly Steven. glad you caught that.
on a related note:
is post-graduation depression normal in the profession? I'm about 99.9% positive that its the source for my unhappiness (the other 0.1% is my parent's divorce after 30 years together)
I'm often daydreaming of studio and the chance to be creative while I'm supposed to be drawing wall types and toilet details...
i have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression. but it also runs in my family so i am more prone to it. depression is nothing to mess with.
I have S.A.D.
It's grim outside this time of year.
S.A.D.
Us arty types are so sensitive.
i only see sunlight on saturdays and sundays. i come to work before dawn, and leave after dusk. us poor northerners.
I'm in the same boat as you Stawbeary. I've been taking meds for depression for years now, but this whole lack of creative outlet thing is really getting to me. And with the area I'm in, there are no options as far as doing my own side work, etc., and I don't have the money yet to move back to Boston...
Thank god I can live vicariously through my girlfriend thats still in architecture school.
i wish my lady friend would call me...and ask for me back.
dont get me wrong, i love not knowing things, asking questions, and feeling dizzy from an overall retardation when it comes to architecture in general, but i have been the office bitch too long.
i ask questions, because i dont know, my peers get pissed cause 'they are under a crunch', then i try to do it myself, my peers get pissed because i didnt ask them how to do it.
wtf
anyone feel the pain? what should i do?
i came from a school from which i made a good name for myself, i was smart, design 'savvy', and an overall good guy. maybe my ego became alittle too big at school, but here in the real world, i have to suck it in and go with the flow. i am not used to the office geeks laughing and dishing it out because they were geeks as long as they can remember and finally are given the chance to pay everyone back for their crappy existance.
wtf
i only feel my numbness when i'm touching you
it doesn't really bother me
but every now and then
i get that feeling again.
i've been looking at italian Architectural websites in search for a firm to work in either milan or my hometown, bologna.
i am considering moving back to italy once i graduate (i'm in london) but the scene back home is dead...i saw some of the drawings submitted for international competitions and they were laughable. literally ridiculous.
so i'm pretty unhappy, because the love of my life is back home, my friends are there, and life is so much better there, but i don know if i could or should give up the prospect of an exciting job somewhere else in the world for this.
would i be able to live without being satisfied by the Architecture i produce?
So i'm trying to find a scenario that would integrate the two, but it feels strange and slightly wrong to make plans for someone else's life (my girlfriend). and i'm pretty unhappy if i think about it. i mean, is no big deal, but it pisses me off slightly.
i guess i will just go back and become the only starchitect in italy. and stop koolhaas and hadid from getting all the comissions.
it is easier to be good when you are among the good, but it is easier to be great is you are among the lesser ones, i think.
Pixelwhore - I think you might be onto something with the post-graduation depression thing...just mine might be delayed. I came out enjoying work because I was making some $$ and working less hours than I did with studio and work combined. Now I'm just depressed but bad clients, have the partner in the corner office cut up my designs, shitty project budgets that can't afford anything. I liked that fake world of studio where I could do whatever I wished.
Oh, and I've lost relationships because of my depression at time.
I also live in the north and never see the sun.
And I drink because I'm unhappy. Isn't it normal to drink an entire bottle of wine by yourself?
this just keeps getting more and more depressing...
A - it's normal for me to drink a bottle myself.
I wasn't depressed at all through school. Was a little in high school. Was alright my first year of office work. Then a turn for the worse. I didn't think I was learning, improving. I didn't think I'd ever be good at what I do. I was in the wrong firm and the wrong city. I even took a leave of absence due to sheer hermit depression. Translation: I wouldn't leave the house and eventually stopped showing up for work. Just like that. Just didn't go, I was willing to suffer the consequences and ready to ditch the architecture career for good. My husband called a psych in the phonebook and got me an appointment. The psych had to call my boss and tell them why I hadn't been showing up for work and that I needed to take a leave of absence. I took 6 unpaid weeks off. I came back on a Monday, was laid off that Friday. How much can a chica take? Get this - rehired 4 weeks later with a 10% raise. HA! Raises for other emplyees were supended that year due to the company being in the red.
Anyways, I am doing so much better. Gotta keep the tude upbeat, no negative thinking. Coming out of architecture school I was so damn critical of everything how could I not be depressed? I didn't realize how self destructive I was to myself. Now that I know, I can work on it.
hey, i got happy tonight...retail therapy!!!!
I always worried if the reality is far too awary from the things I saw through my eyes and minds.
Will I get my paycheck at the end of the year?
Will my kid be OK?
Will next year be a big success for my career?
Oh, too much to worry. I need to gather my strength to go through this one by one.
the O.C. made me unhappy tonight!
What was wrong with the OC?
Right now I'm very unhappy as it's Saturday night and earlier today I learned that I need to go into the office on Sunday!
I am very unhappy because I have had to decline 3 holiday party invitations due to work! Do you think that architects/designers tend to be depressive? And which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I would say that architects are generally depressive. We have high work relates stress, higher rates for divorce and alcohol/substance abuse. Sounds to me like a potion for depression, then again, I'm not always depressed. Being in the office on a Sunday morning is kinda relaxing in a way.
The key to happiness is to WANT what you already have.
dear archinect,
i too am unhappy. it isn't job-related, i just feel really alone.
what do i do?
why am i so whiney today?
love,
stephanie
well, stephanie, why don't you go to a bookstore and talk to the first guy that walks near the architecture section. you might make his day, and at least you've given yourself a little charge of adrenaline. love, archinect.
(can i get in trouble for impersonating archinect?)
Good advise...I'm heading to a bookstore right now.
my lady friend won't return my calls. i fucked things up royally! and now i'm alone...
no graspin you're really not,
cause my phone isn't ringing either... hahaha
well, maybe we can spend the xmas holiday together...alone, but not 'alone'...lol.
well yeah, you're right, we both are going to be alone...
damm the consumeristic holiday
So 'plainjane', who made you unhappy?
Where does he live? I’ll send him a pizza...one which he didn't order BUT will be forced to pay for once it hits his doorstep. I
t’ll be so diabolical that he'll be ruined for life!!!!
alone
freakin snow storms!!!!
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