Oops... that's "professional architect's"

the text is indeed pretty hard to understand. rewriting it will take you some serious effort.

try to make the big points right off the bat and then elaborate, letting the details you add take you towards a kind of conclusion. or heck if you are feeling adventurous maybe turn your uncertainty into the reason for going to school.

you know, play up the fact that you have an intuition about the profession and understand some parts of it but now you want to follow through on the insight and see where it takes you. doing that nicely is not so easy but is possible if you take the time.


i recommend taking a look at op-ed writers, like the NYTimes etc. they always impress me with how they can make arguments with depth in very short space and usually write entertainingly to boot. very good lessons on how to structure an essay of this sort.


as a representative of the older generation you are accusing of complacency it is fine to say the last generation didn't do enough, am quite certain no one will be offended. if it were me i would wish that you had more to offer than the oft-repeated platitude about how everyone up til now has blown it. what does that kind of statement even mean? and do you have some idea about how to do better?

try to reveal some more of yourself. same as with the portfolio the cover letter is supposed to show the university you have more to offer than the superficial.

good luck !

I actually really like that first paragraph... i suppose it could use some rewriting, but the idea of it, understanding the independent Y and wanting to understand the dependent X... i think thats pretty clever... im sorry i was mean to you before awesomekeith, its clear your intentions are good even if your execution was lacking... good luck

well its all done, all 6 different application items are shipped/paid for. my chances are slim and ill find out in april. i definently couldn't have gotten all this together without all of this help..regardless of if i get into any of these schools or not thanks everyone ! i learned some good stuff