This heart was found scrawled on the walls of both our decrepit elevators last week. They've since been painted over, leaving only a penciled inscription, “Where did the love go?”
It got me to thinking. Why are there so many architect couples? Many are very famous;
does working with your lover lend itself to professional success? Or is the couple/partner phenomenon a side effect of social neglect, that is, neglecting to socialize with people outside of the architectural community?
Regardless of the cause, the fact there are so many professional couples would suggest that many of them met in graduate school. As far as I can tell, however, grad school is a lousy place to meet people. Yes, there are couples among my classmates, but there's nowhere
near the level of scandal, intrigue and in-breeding that I experienced in the College of Environmental Design at Berkeley.
Could it be the weather? I thought is was the scruffy factor””staying up late, dressing “functionally,” as one friend likes to say, looking tired, etc., but that was the case in college too. Or is it maturity? Those who've seen the wreckage up-close avoid the obvious and inevitable fall-out from failed relationships with peers. Maybe Yale isn't a sexy place. But no, that's not the case. People are happy here, they're enthusiastic and ambitious, not to mention talented; that's sexy. And there are plenty of handsome and beautiful faces. Let's just be honest: architecture seems to attract good-looking people. So are we just not interested? Not focused on being romantically involved? Dividing one's time is tricky, to be sure; many students would rather devote all their energy to school while they're here and just let their other needs be ignored. Funny thing is, some of the most intensely serious people here are in and out of more relationships than anyone else””probably because they end up choosing school over the relationship.
Others arrive at school married (sometimes with children), or engaged, or practically so. These are the lucky ones, I think, because maybe 70% of my classmates who showed up “taken” on the first day of school are now not so. There's a high attrition rate for outside relationships. If you've been working and spending a lot of time with someone they may not understand what's changed no matter how many times you explain the stress of school and the simple conundrum that no project
is ever really finished. This again lends itself to the phenomenon of the architect couple. You just broke up with someone, and so did the girl at the desk next to yours, and you commiserate over how hard it was to make time for them, and presto! an architect couple is formed. The alchemy is flawless.
It's funny how few of the blogs on archinect mention the social life factor. This says VOLUMES about the nature of our lives at school. Of course, no one wants to get that personal””I've said nothing about myself per se in the lines above.
Let me reassure potential architects that there is a lot of socializing going on, if you want to be a part of it, so don't despair. Yale can even boast of its own
grad student bar, which happens to be next door to the architecture school. And there are many other haunts. I'll make this a 2-part series. Next time I'll show you them, alright?
Xoxo,
Savanna
“You take away my pain””
could you be the one to find me safe and sound?
love is how it's lost, not how it's found.”
Lyrics from “Safe and Sound,” by Azure Ray
17 Comments
feeling lonely savanna?
sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands during crunch time
No, I don't have a lot of time. What's the problem?
i don't know if this plays into to any of your coupling theories but i always felt that college was a shitty place to meet others for any time of commitment...it seems like everyone has their own agenda and is heading in different directions after graduation. school might work for a fling but if you're interested in any thing longer then it can be problematic.
in other words, their is something vector-like about relationships. its not just a matter of being in the same place, but also a matter of heading in the similar (or maybe congruent would be a better word) directions. architects don't seem to settle and if we can't find a way to grow together then we inevitably grow apart.
ok, time to finish my laundry...
erm....don't think so much love! Put the pencil down and go out and get laid!
you make it sound so easy Oliver...
I just appreciate hearing an Azure Ray quote outside of my own inbred circle.
two of the most talented students in my graduate school hooked up in undergrad and are now married and practicing together (in someone else's office). There were not many women in our school sadly (sad because they were almost without exception the more talented designers) but assume that when a talented guy meets a talented girl things just progress naturally..
my first daughter was born in first year of masters. my wife is not an architect and generally doesn't want to hear about my various projects which is sometimes a good thing, sometimes not. After nearly ten years of job after job i can understand that she isn't so interested anymore. she doesn't like that i never have holidays and never stop working, but we get along somehow, and the kids make life imeasurably richer...
anyway. architects have lives, same as anyone else. even rem has kids.
rem has kids?
why are u so surprised oana?:)
apparently he's married to a londoner.
you should always remember that Architecture is not life.there are other things and it's ok to like them too.
it's a pleasent surprise.
:)
Well said Richard!....
Well. I can’t resist but make a little comment on such a nice entry by Savanna.
From my personal experience love can be found in Grad school. Zoë and I met at Columbia* 3 years ago and it’s been a perfect match. I really enjoy how smart and crazy (at times) she is in our everyday life. During my undergrad years I also had a girlfriend who was also in architecture and it didn’t work at all. Nowadays, I find myself with the partner of my life, it’s great and we have done really great and fun work together while at Columbia. During our last semester while taking part of Laurie Hawkinson’s studio we were able to combine my fixation on formal issues of geometry, aesthetics with her intellect and materials curiosity. The project was a success and has been shown around NYC in a couple different shows. Nowadays we are working on our own projects, have established a practice (Commonwealth) with real projects and doing what we love; architecture.
*First year at Columbia was crazy, especially once spring came around. It seemed as everyone was hooking up with each other…lots of fun! The class before ours wasn’t as “energetic†and off the wall as ours.
[not my kids...just the uncle and perhaps at some point aunt?? taking the boys to a barcelona vs. milan game!]
In the name of Savanna's lyric quotes, here's one for my love, fDavid who I met in a certain school of Architecture...
They wake at dawn 'cos all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain't what they're thinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
They got each other neither one's complaining
He says I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee
Never mind sugar we can watch the early movie.
-R.Stewart.
Xoxo,
Zoë
Savannah who are the couple in the first pic on the bike, I think I know that image but i'm not sure
It is the Eames gang.
when i see things in the paper i notice lots of product designers seem to be couples.
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