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I am originally from Istanbul/Turkey, currently living in Los Angeles.
Ok, I have my bachelors degree from architecture and I graduated from university in 2010.
After my graduation I started working as an architect in an office in Istanbul. It was a 30 people office working on various types of projects. From the first days of my first real job I didnt enjoy it even a bit and I attributed this feeling to being a newbie, after all I was a rookie and this was the times I had to go through. I was applying revisions to existing drawings and cadding bunch of boring stuff, working with people that i couldnt really relate to.
After a while my boss realized my performance wasnt so high and decided to try me in the concept team thinking maybe I would be a better fit there, supposedly I could be more creative and enjoy the profession. At this section of the office I was trascribing the sketches coming from the head designer into Revit or AutoCAD and drawing, playing with 3D models and masses. I was excited about that and he was right, I started enjoying my job better. But that was not enough after a while the whole thing started to feel horrible, I lost all my enthusiasm in short time, started questioning if I have enough passion or interest to keep pursuing architecture as a profession. Because as you guys know very well it takes almost all the time of and it becomes your life. You can not practise architecture from 9-5 and only week days.(at least its what i am led to believe) All these happened in a year and completing my first year in that office I quitted my job.
My personal life was getting a bit complicated too and I had no idea what to do with my life. Got quite depressed and took bunch of medication. Spent a couple of months in dark moods and recovered. Started on a soul search in my own terms. When depressed period was gone I did nothing for 3 months but partying and getting social, talking to people about how i feel towards architecture.
I signed up for a 9 month programme at UCLA extension called global sustainability and came to Los Angeles. It felt really good to get away from my city and I started to clear my head, making new friends and getting small jobs. And I made this a quest for me to discover what my passion is. My thought pattern was "if my job is gonna become my life it has to be something that I am really passionate of and shouldn't feel like work-at least should be bearable.Oh btw I also worked in an architecture office in LA to see that if I can like it better, to see if the problem was my office. Nope it wasn't, I could only take it a month and had to quit. Each day, when i come home I was feeling horrible, let alone having any enthusiasm towards design I was hardly finding any towards life as long as I am locked in front of that computer.
When somebody asked me to describe my problem towards architecture I always said that I dont like being locked in an office, staring at the computer for hours and hours. I am not quite sure if this is my problem but I know for sure that i like doing more physical things but at the same time i like being creative, too. I am in love with skateboarding, have no intentions of making it a career but I think being creative and physical movements in me comes out as that.
I feel like i am waiting for a divine answer which is never gonna come. I think i might enjoy and be good at some field related to design, too.
I have been in LA for more than 2,5 years now and I tried many jobs from working in theatres to selling jewelery at flea markets to working at art galleries to bartending, making films, working with interior designers. Made bunch of friends from all walks of life and its been a crazy journey. But.. There is a huge but! It is getting really frustrating that I still have no clue about what I wanna do with my life.
After being in this whole phase of my life I am feeling a little bit more enthusiastic about architecture and design but it doesnt feel super right.
Anybody has any ideas or has been through the same path? I can really use some advice.
It's called getting your shit together
The more you stay stopped the more you are going to be behind... so take your time but not too much... are you sure this wouldn't happen in any other field? Sign up for boxing classes. People are going to hit you regardless of your inner state. It is the same with life. Maybe you are not appreciating enough what you have. Or maybe Architecture is not you passion. Or maybe it is but you need time to rearrange your personal life.
"if my job is gonna become my life it has to be something that I am really passionate of and shouldn't feel like work-at least should be bearable" - Welcome to the real world!! Work feels like work. I love Architecture but many times I'd like to be in Bahamas instead of working on some proposal. Just like perfect love bliss relationships don't exist.
I could be wrong, too.
My advice? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get a job doing something (doesn't necessarily have to be architecture), and if you dislike the job, start looking for a new one but don't just quit your old job. It shouldn't be a revelation that you won't be 100% passionate about every aspect of an entry-level job. The work that you are describing at your old firm seems pretty typical to me for an entry-level designer.
Xenakis is correct, get your shit together.
I appreciate all the comments.
Even though I am a hardworking person I think i focus my energy on wrong aspects and dont set clear goals.
It is easier than that. Try to start enjoying your life.
just be lucky you weren't born where I was(Bakersfield, Ca.). People w/o direction, were asked to join the Marines - usually meant a trip to Asscrackistan.
Xenakis, I wish I was born in Bakersfield CA, would probably have more opportunities.
I was born in middle east where being creative is far from you because people have way more serious issues to take care of such as their basic freedoms.
This is not the issue anywways =)
many of my co-workers are Persian and very good at what they do - move to U.S. we have many middle east communities here.
My steel structures professor was Turkish and she was very good
sounds like you just can't handle a full-time job and the real world. sorry buddy but that's how its going to be basically forever. you're an adult! yay! time to grow up!
in my life personally, when i felt depressed for an extended period of time (social and love life went to hell, didn't like my career path anymore), with a lot of "i don't know where i'm going i life" on my mind, i committed to whatever is in front of me and did it as best i could-- whether it be school, personal hobbies, or work. 3 years later, i have a great education with multiple degrees, a job where i'm learning new things every day (although work feels like work obviously), a great design skill set, a number of personal non-career creative goals achieved, and a future that is, in fact, WIDE OPEN.
still don't know what i'm doing, but if i quit what i was doing when i felt lost where would i be? nowhere, and most likely depressed about it. don't stop. if you don't know what you're doing, at least DO SOMETHING.
ps adjusting from college to work life is really hard for the first half a year, but then you start to get into the groove of things and each day doesn't seem like a mountain. you're probably used to 2 hours of classes, 4 hours of free time, 2 hours of classes, and then the bar. your body and mind will eventually adjust to the extra workload.
If you find architecture boring, my bet is that you would find about 90% of other jobs even more boring. At least we do something remotely creative. If you like the outdoors and not want to be stuck behind the computer, go get a gig with a construction crew. You will either love it or start appreciating the white collar life more. Or flip burgers.
Quite a few advanced degree holding cebtral and eastern Europeans drive cabs in New York City. Not too strenuous, and you get to meet lots of people.
It appears that you had 8 jobs in 30 months. So the work equivalent of speed-dating.
get off Someday isle:
sounds like a manic depressive to me
You should watch this video
Thanks everyone for comments!
I like how harsh some of them are =)
caitlincopeland ! That video really gave me some perspective, thank you!!
Maybe you like building things rather than being in an office stuck in front of a computer.
crimson, yes! but in todays job market its almost impossible to find a field that you are not stuck in front of the computer.
no, that's not true at all actually.