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Personal statement help

jochem

Hey guys,

Currently working towards applying to TU Delft and was hoping for a few pointers with my personal statement/statement of motivation. They asked for more words and details then any other school, so i appreciate you reading through it, or even scanning it.

This is what i have so far:

The most important date in my life thus far is when I immigrated to Canada. We sold our family’s greenhouse business in Bleiswijk in 1996, in pursuit of a more prosperous life in Canada. Bringing our Dutch regiments and crop knowledge has led our family business to be the most efficient greenhouse operation in western Canada within a few years. I could have easily taken over the growing operation with my brother and have a comfortable lifestyle, but I had an interest elsewhere. I was always fascinated by construction growing up, helping with projects around the farm and always asking, “what if we did this?” However, it was not until I took a Drafting & Design course in high school that I realized I had a talent and interest in the design portion of the construction industry.

 

Formal architectural training started at BCIT. The Architectural Science Degree is built upon a technical foundation. A combination of theoretical knowledge, practical skills and technical training to provide a good understanding of the construction industry. In the third year, students move into a studio space and the focus is shifted toward design and art. Classes in architectural history, building science and graphic communication support the core design studios. We learnt to discover our design intent and let the technology we learnt previously serve that vision. I am currently in my last term, finishing my graduating project that I started last October. During summer breaks I would take the tools and ideas I developed in the classroom and apply them to my professional work at an architecture firm. During my time at the office I learnt more about the design process, consultant coordination, and efficient drafting. I helped prepare permit sets by developing sections and plans in more clarity, drafting critical details and resolving issues as they arise. Last summer, I researched and presented on the possibilities of BIM software, and our office is now beginning to transition to Revit. Currently, I am involved in a design/build workshop that brings elements of my professional and academic experience together. Along with 20 others students from Canada and Michael Green Architects we are designing the secondary theatre and three cafes for the 30th anniversary of TED. The process started with brainstorming sessions on how to represent Vancouver and TED. We are now finalizing shop drawings and preparing the workshop for the construction phase. After TED2014 event, the project will be disassembled and permanently installed in a public place.

 

My year-long graduating project started with an intensive, class-wide study of the neighborhood, Downtown Eastside, and the surrounding context. After an urban plan was made, I was able to pick a site and program to respond to it. My project, Cobe, is bounded by a collective and collaborative lifestyle. Sharing creates affordability and access to luxuries, otherwise impossible to obtain. Cobe houses co-working spaces in both an office-like setting and a workshop-like setting. These affordable spaces are also very creative, through what Jane Jacobs calls, “knowledge spillovers”. This is where ideas are recycled and reworked to help make them come alive. This strong collective community would extend to the public though events spaces, exhibit areas and workshops/lessons. The co-housing component caters to the unique demographic of Downtown Eastside. The biggest influence being that most residents live on their own and with, on average, an income a third of the rest of Vancouver. Precedent projects were visited throughout this project to establish a better understanding of programmatic relationships, functional layouts and space allocation. This term will continue refinement of the design, including responding to the guest critics and instructors comments from the presentation in December. Further analysis will be done on the buildings energy performance, MEP systems and structural system. Final presentation will be followed up with a complete set of working drawings.

 

I am very interested in the psychology of architecture. How the architecture that we walk past, live in and play on influence cognition. How a space can promote creativity, interaction, or romance and can stimulate all our senses. Architecture is so relative in everyone’s lives as we are all affected by it, positively or negatively. Secondly, I am interested in architecture that sustains and embraces our natural environment today and tomorrow. Designing innovative and original buildings that capitalize on our local and renewable materials.

 

One of my biggest passions, fueled by my bicultural background, is traveling. It is very refreshing experiencing different cultures first hand and has shaped how I see the world and developed who I want to be. When I was 17 I went backpacking around New Zealand, Australia and Fiji for seven months. Our low budget led my friends and I into some humbling sleeping arrangements and great local interactions. 2012 led my family and I to the peak of Mt. Kilimanjaro, the tallest mountain in Africa. The trip not only pushed us physically, but also gave insight into a completely different way of life. Seeing new parts of our world also reminds me how little I know, and opens my mind to new architectural possibilities. It is also interesting to see how the architecture responds to the climatic and social needs.

 

I have also been back to Holland a few times since I immigrated. Every time I become more mesmerized by the variance in the urban typology and architecture that is bold and humanistic. Not to mention, one that has undergone and solved many of the issues that are facing Canada today, namely gentrification dynamics and sustainable transport media. I have wanted to go back to The Netherlands to study architecture since I began on this career path, and be fully immerged into a progressive and mature culture. On my most recent visit, and on my way home from Tanzania, I went to TU Delft. I visited BK City on orientation day to experience; first-hand what is would be like to study at Delft. Walking through the hallways, talking to students and faculty, and checking out some of the spaces completely reaffirmed my initial dream to be a student here. What initially drew me to learn more about TU Delft is its variety in both the student body and studio options. This mixing pot of cultural backgrounds and career opportunities, provide fruitful interactions in every situation. It is also clear that the school is very progressive in both style and technology while still respecting its history, and this vision is clear through the language of the BK City. What also drew me to TU Delft is when I discovered its emphasis on exploration. Conceptual thinking and designing has often helped me stretch the boundaries of what I thought was originally possible.

 

What excites me most about studying at TU Delft is the seemingly limitless possibilities. Having multiple studios in varying departments allows me to discover where my interests and talents lie, and expand further in those areas. Currently, I am intrigued by Architecture & Dwelling studio’s, especially Studio Amsterdam as I am very intrigued by the housing typology and demographic of this unique Dutch city. Furthermore, to compare these housing problems and solutions to other cities around the world. For my thesis or graduation project I would want to balance the housing studio with Complex Projects Graduation Studio. I have always been intrigued by urban landscapes and what architectures role is in the evolution of the city. The city is continuing to play a larger role in our society as more people are migrating to cities to live, play and work. A proper intervention into this complex anatomy of street and culture can only be done after thorough research and analysis. I look forward to develop as a designer and thinker and learn more about architecture’s role in our society.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jochem Moerman

 
Feb 17, 14 10:19 am
millieshaw

I don't even hope my answer is useful for you for now, but I think, it will help other applicants in a similar situation. In my humble opinion, and as I see you didn't get any replies here, it is better to ask a professional to proofread your personal statement. I don't know, if you entered or not (hope you did), but your post here did nothing for you. I see your letter and I find it good, but the committee might reject it because of many things. Even if it is proofread by medical school personal statement writers, it will have better result, than posting here

Nov 20, 18 4:36 am  · 
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