Yes the dreaded day when an empty plot of land owned by a relative awaits your design for their perfect dream. Note: this is not my Uncle Bob or Aunt Tilly, these are my Parents! The most demanding clients one can face, but where do I start, I truly love 'em and consider them more like my brother and sister but designing their dream house is just pushing me over the edge. You would think I would have an upper hand in the design when I still live with them and know what they want and how to make their lives easier. My brother being handicap, who is unable to walk or talk is a big influence on the design of the house. You would think I would be overly inspired for him, but I've ran into a brick wall. My parents lately are overly demanding. I don't feel motivated for some odd reason. I've been working on an initial design and nothing seems to be working out, and I just feel very incompetent. You would figure that almost being a post graduate I can design a 3,500-4,000 sq. ft. house with no problem. Wrong! Overall I feel very sour about this, and them constantly bugging me every single day on how the house is coming along, is driving me mad when in fact haven't looked at the design for weeks. I can't visualize this house within this awkwardly flag lot in close vicinity of other houses in a "prestigious" neighborhood. I've even gone to the brink of scrapping my entire design and looking at stock plans off the internet and seeing what works, accommodating what is needed for my family. For me I do not feel inspired by the houses around the neighborhood, it's the typical contemporary stucco house that you see everywhere else. Quoted by my parents "We just want a house". Now looking at these stock plans I feel like a complete failure. I feel miserable, lost, and angry at myself for something that would be a wet dream for anyone else, but has turned into a nightmare for me.
do you lack confidence in your ability to deliver a design that your parents would accept...i.e. that would impress your parents?
or
are you imagining and worried that your parents would not be able to cope with the design you could deliver and you therefore feel prematurely frustrated, torn between the imminent banality of domesticity and your design ideals?
serves you right for thinking of designing a 4-5,000 sq. ft. house would be a nothing but an easy shot you pumped up architecture student you!! you are naive. people work years just to get their own projects and learn how to design a house. go back to school and tell your parents to hire a real architect!
just talk to them about how difficult it is for you, you say you're pretty close so they should understand and back off a bit. take some time off of it and focus on other stuff, at some point it will come back to you and you'll know what to do.
monkey, been there, and avoided it. you have to start talking to your parents like clients or you risk everything. forget they are your parents, and interview them, get them to understand your needs, their needs, site needs, brother's needs. if you still can't do it, contact a local, and see if you can work together.
are you charging your parents? you better, they'll appreciate the professionalism. don't punk out.
i understand the other part too, my brother wanted me to "design? him a tattoo, copy some design, but i refused, i'm not a circus geek, i don't perform on command, it wasn't inspiring anything.
The advice to partner with a more experienced architect is fantastic. When I was in school I tried to do some house designs for some people on the side and it was not really a great experience. There is so much to learn about dealing with clients as well as actual design work that just isn't taught in school.
Partnering with outside architects seems like a good idea. The problem when doing anything for free is taht you run the risk of being taken adavntage of. Not necessarily intentionally, but when people see $$=time, then they are more efficient at communicating and careful not to ask for silly, whimsical things, or, worst, give you "ideas".
BUT, overall, I'd say you gotta suck it up. Most would kill for an opportunity like that and to think you'd actually be looking at stock plans and not even telling your parents the truth (not looking at the drawings for weeks??!! WHAT!!! You'd be fired on the spot!).
Really, you gotta do better. I can understand the pain and frustration, but you've been given an opportunity most don't get until decades later, if at all.
I am with mdz - stop pouting and get it done, or hire a "real" architect (not some pathetic stock plans!)
Or, if you just can't do it and they can't afford (although anyone building a 5k house better be able to afford an architect or they are just buying crap space) one, get a colleague or classmate to design it.
Keep in mind that they are giving you a massive career opportunity here.
I have to disagree with this whole thing about " massive career opportunity".
There is ALWAYS the right client for the right architect.
Maybe your parents are just not the right clients for you...and that is totally fine.
I myself had the chance to design one house in los angeles...my first international project!
So for many people it is like the realization of a dream...an international project..wow!!!
Well...during the first meeting with the client, he told me: " This is not your project, this is my project. You're going to do exactly what I want. I know you, architects...you guys want to control everything. But this is not gonna work for me. This is my house, it's gonna be my way"
I don't need to say that the rest of the story was just pure nightmare.
I gave up the job after I was done with the submittal process...I just couldn't take it that situation.
So, if your parents are not the right client for you, so don't do it. You will regret immensely once the construction starts.
gosh, what a dramatic difference in culture. i would actually feel it would be really inappropriate to charge my parents money for designing their house or even considering them "clients". they did pay for your whole childhood.
gaas, you took on that project? the first half of that first sentence would have had me standing up and walking out the door, laughing as i was spitting out my $8 quadruple espresso.
PGUB, i am sorry, but if my parents took advantage of me, just because they birthed and paid my upbringing, well, then i'll charge double, because the likelihood of me wanting to spend x-mas with them would be nil.
some folks have issues working with their families (for their own personal reasons), though others would look at it as an opportunity to do something daring or different, possibly something wonderful for your brother and parents?
if you would rather not have anything to do with working with your parents, would you consider referring someone else to do it? and if your parents accepted, would that insult or disappoint you even more (now as well as later, more so if it is built and very successful)?
perhaps you might consider involving a colleague or more experienced architect-friend to assist you with managing the project if it is your first "real life" project experience, and help you get through this (as another option).
Check out Maison A Bourdeaux, a house designed by Rem Koolhaas with Cecil Balmond for a man in a wheelchair. It might be inspiring to see how other people have dealt with universal circulation on a similar domestic scale.
Other than that, take your time. Why do your parents insist you do this project before you're ready. Tell them you want to do it right.
do the drawings and renderings to put in your portfolio knowing full well that the actual chances of it getting built are about 2 percent. trust me i have experience with this.
I'm torn here. A house for one's parents -- I'm too late, but I wish I had been able to do that. There would not be words for pulling that one off.
At the same time, I like gaas's statement -- "right client, right time". In other words, in hindsight, I am glad I did not ever compel my parents to build something that I designed as a student. I could do it now, but could not have done it then.
Imagine the hindsight regret you'd feel down the road KNOWING that you had not been up to the task. Yet there it would stand.
I've said it before and actually gotten some argument, but well- designed houses are extremely difficult projects. I think you should walk first for a while, then run.
OK, so, I've been practicing for 15 years, registered for 7 years and specialized in residential for only the last 4.
I have to say: not every architect knows how to design a house!
It's not an easy job. Like KJ said, a well-designed home is a challenging project. Residential architecture is a specialty just like hospital design or retail or commercial fitout or churches. I've known architects of institutional work who worked with other designers to do their own homes, even, because they knew that residential design was not something in which they really had any experience. Not a week ago I spoke to a exceptionally talented architect who typically does commercial work lamenting how difficult it is to get all the residential plumbing selections made for a mixed-use project with a few apartments.
To everyone: don't think that just because you can design some things well that means you can design everything well!
To k4dmnky or however you spell it: recently out of school, it's no wonder you can't design a house. I didn't know how to design a kitchen - let alone a whole house! - until I'd done half a dozen of them. I wish I could go back in time and redesign my current kitchen, because it's lousy compared to what I could do now, four years into a residential remodel specialty!
First off, stop beating yourself up. Take a deep breath and go ahead and look at stock plans. Bring the ones you like to your parents and review with them what you think are the pros and cons of each one. Then combine, tweak, adjust, overlay, sketch, manipulate - in other words, design - a version of them that works for your family. Think about what you and they don't want as a way to help you figure out what they do want.
And as a separate conversation: working with family can be hard. My sister had someone else design her house, and just as well, as I'd rather not enter that client/architect relationship with her. I looked over her plans and made a few comments and suggestions, but that was it. (Some day, if she wants to design a vacation home, the kind of casual, whimsical, less-stressful project than the one she wakes up in every day, I may do it, and challenge her to let me do some work that is important/serious to me.) Your parents need to understand that you are, like every other recent grad, not necessarily yet qualified to do this project, but! that you can certainly make a stock plan better for them.
Architecture is a long, slow profession. Other opportunities, when you have more of a voice, will arise. Calm down and try to approach this as a learning opportunity.
So... here's maybe another great lesson: Not everyone who needs a house also needs an architect. It took me while to learn that -- I think I'm still learning it.
I think you have to be honest with yourself and your parents and admit that you have to lower the expectations on both sides. This will take some pressure off for you but you have to explain to them that school doesn't make you an expert, experience does.
Think of yourself less as an architect who has to manage everything and more of a consultant who gathers the data for the program/needs etc. and makes suggestions based on what you learned in school.
And seriously, stock plans? I am sure you flipped through some serious housing books while in school, I hope?
"I think you have to be honest with yourself and your parents and admit that you have to lower the expectations on both sides."
Hmm -- lower than "We just want a house"...? That's pretty definitively low already.
Ckl, I probably understand what you mean by that, but it's not the solution I'd look for in this or any case.
The parents don't seem to need an architect -- they "just want a house", and the stock plans seem fine -- but, for the sake of argument, say that they do need an architect. and do have some specific goals in mind... well, rather than asking them to diminish their expectations, I'd suggest that they research and hire an experienced architect.
there's nothing wrong with looking at stock plans to look for organizational ideas and room sizes etc...the trick with residential clients is to focus them from wanting to much or to loosen them up from being to timid. this is the other issue of not having designed residential projects. you have to be a freaking psychologist half the time. if you aren't getting paid why not have some fun... try to get a program together which includes some visuals ie things they like. this need not be literal. you can go on feelings here... and then post it on archinect and have a design charette or something with the people on the site. you'd be surprised what might happen....also, check out this site for some design pointers...
Im wondering if you are simultaneously trying to work on the design
+ the CD's? If so you should stop and reconsider your approach.
If I were in your shoes I would first figure out what "dream home" means to your parents. For my father-in-law it would be a log cabin in the woods, but for my mother it would be a Mediterranean villa that reminds her of her honeymoon. Establishing what they want is most important. Don't be afraid to give your clients (parents) a home work assignment - have them gather images from magazines and websites of things that they like. (also have them look through websites like space-invading, or materialicious, or of your favorite architect - even though many of the projects they would never consider living in, there may be something that sparks some curiosity, even if it is just a combination of materials)
I would also drive, or walk through the neighborhood on which they will be building and have them tell you what they like or dont like about the houses that they will be living next to.
While your parents are gathering images and information on things they like you can be doing two things. Site Analysis and Performance Programming. Go about a design if there were no limitations, like you would if you were in studio - even if that means creating two schemes (first one the way you would do it - and then a second for your parents) If you ground your design in site and perf.prgmng than there will be many things you can borrow for your parents scheme - THEN SHOW THEM BOTH! - they will most likely not go with your scheme, but there may be something that they like, or that opens their eyes a bit. Again, it may be as limited to materials, or details
For the performance programming, HOW DO THEY LIVE? what is there morning routine, what is their evening / weekend routine - how do they entertain, etc, etc... Example - My father in-law likes to wake up early and have a cup of coffee alone at sunrise - so i would give him a patio / kitchen layout with easterly exposure, away from the rest of the living spaces - while my dad would much rather have a beer and a cigar at sunset with a group of friends, so i would give him a patio, with retaining/sitting walls and a fire pit with westerly exposure.
I have some friends how like to have large parties outside, while other friends prefer to host intimate parties sitting around the kitchen. My mother hosts a 50 person christmas party every year so i would have to take that into consideration. My aunt likes to have her out of town friends stay with her, but wants privacy from them so a separate guest suite would be needed while my grandmother loves to have the kids stay over night and wants them close. My in-laws (again) father likes to fall asleep while watching TV and mother likes complete silence when sleeping.
Will this be the house they stay in for the rest of their lives? - if so, dont put their bedroom and laundry on the first floor level so they dont have to walk up and down stairs when their mobility becomes limited with age. Do they have hobbies? give them spaces to do what they like and locate their next to/far away from main living spaces based upon how they wish to function.
You mentioned a disabled sibling, so study up on your local access board and dont just allocate for the bare minimum of clearances, etc. make sure that he/she can live and maneuver comfortably.
You will know the answers to most of these questions already, if not - dont be afraid to ask. If you design based upon site, climate, and how they live you should be on your way to success...
Back to style/form when it is determined what is their favorite, study up and stay true to the original details and proportions of that style. meaning - if their favorite is craftsman, dont design them a house with tuscan columns and 20 ft vaulted ceilings.
And for sizes of spaces - take a cue from their current home - will they be buying new furniture or using what they have - measure and plan spaces around the actual sizes of the furniture.
When it comes time for CD's keep it simple at first - figure out an economical framing solution and how to give them a efficient envelope.
Are they getting multiple bids - or do they know of a contractor that they want to use/trust if the latter, once the design work is underway you can sit down the them and see what they need for deliverables.
Awesome post, cln1, and super helpful to anyone designing a house!
Note that a benefit of stock plans is that someone else has already worked out a lot of the very basic constructability issues. For example, do they teach you in school that a 9' wood stud is going to mean a lot of cutting and waste, or that a cabinet 22" wide is going to have to be custom or that a 7' door is typically close to twice the cost of a 6'-8" door? Revising someone else's very standard framing to make just a portion of it custom is going to teach you a lot AND ensure that a contractor doesn't either bid the job super high because it has silly difficulties built in or just laugh at you (or both).
Great post cln. I'm working on a home for my brother and his family, and am therefore following this thread attentively.
We (my partner and I) have approached schematic design in a way that takes cues from many of the performance issues that cln mentions. In fact, that's how we became involved in the first place (bro and wife already had land and a builder's plan, and we started asking questions about the home and how they live... I'll save that story for another post).
I never had a 'residential' studio in undergrad (out of 8 curricular studios and an elective studio). Of course we investigated human occupation of space at scales similar to those found in the single family home, but I never designed a house (although a portion of my class did a quick single family residential project in our final semester)...
Thanks LB/AP - Whenever I work on a side project it is usually for a friend / family member - and I find that designing based upon prerformance programming makes it easier for the client to understand why things are orientated a certain way, and also allowes them to see the benefit of a professional vs. stock plans.
There is a certain amount of education involved in working with any residential (especially suburban) client. I have found that the "I am the architect with the education and artistic vision, therefore my way is better" approach does not get you too far. Not only will you most likely lose the project and the fee, but that client would then resort back to stock plans thus increasing the amount of built crap in the world.
So alongside of the performance programming and site analysis to plan out the location and flow of spaces I will give the client multiple options - both modern and traditional - and explain the pros and cons of both. (pros and cons of cost, efficiency and use) In the end, if they choose traditional I show them how to stay true to the original intent of that style. Even though the form and/or materials may not be exactly what I would choose I can take some comfort in knowing that the spaces are well organized based upon how they live.
One last important point is to show them that if properly designed there may not be a need to build 5,000 sf when 3,000 would suffice.
I don't think that the solution to the parents' house needs has much to with their son at this juncture. Attempting to give K4dmnky the above beginner mini-course on house design ain't gonna help the parents much either. (Not to mention that I don't agree with much of the prescribed approach outlined above, cln1's post in particular.)
I'd stand by what I said earlier -- and, honestly, where I *thought* LB was headed ina n early post -- that is: walk, then run. K4dmonky, this is your parents money you would be experimenting with; unless you are truly an exceptional exception to the rule, then it's pretty unlikely that you are the right match at the right time for this project.
K.J. unless you are truly an exceptional exception to the rule, then it's pretty unlikely that you are the right match at the right time for this project
thats the other extreme from the "you can do it all" mind set you disagree with. somewhere in between? perhaps, k4dONnk3y (please find another title, your current one is quite annoying to type), you need to sit down with yourself, before sitting down with your parents again, figure out what you're reasonably good at (perhaps the preliminary design stage, perhaps the CD stage, perhaps coordinating between different parties...etc) and what you're definitely not as experienced in. subsequently, after identifying what it is you won't be able to handle by yourself, research and scout around for complementary parties that you could work with in your capacity and the legal contractual implications; to what degree do you want to be in control of the process and quality of execution. i am sure, at this stage, many experienced archinectors would be able to advise you on this more specific matter once you get to this stage. from your post, you have not yet properly put your finger on the wound...precise site of insecurity. working with those complementary parties will also increase your knowledge where it lacks.
It's like, say you're fresh out of plastic surgery school, all educated and ready to go. Then, the opportunity arises and now that you think about it, Mom's nose DOES sound like a good starter project. Because hey, there's a lot of things a kid could learn by choppin' around in there. Gotta start somehwere, right? Might even learn enough to do a slightly better job on the next nose.
Well the "won't be another chance" part needs to be highly qualified....that is, someone else's need has no affect on your own ability to help resolve that need. Someone tells me they desperately need to be air-lifted via helicopter to the west ridge of the Himalayas, I can't help them. Can I, acting upon the helpful encouragement from bystanders, sieze the opportunity anyway, put them into the helicopter, and then smash them into the ground? Probably.
Plus, if you read the initial post, I really don't see where the parents actually indicated they were asking for a "dream house"... what they did say, was "We just want a house".
If we were betting about this, well something just tells me K4dm did a lot more enthusiastic volunteering for the job than his "just-want-a-house" parents did offering. And, in the process, seems like he might've sort of conjured up the "dream house" part in his own head. And we've all done that, right?
Although I completely agree with cln1's approach in one sense (aka, if you know what you're doing, and you really think it would be a good fit for you to work with friends / relatives, here's a good way of going about it), I agree with KJ for this particular project.
In some sense I cannot believe the Original Poster's arrogance in thinking that because he/she's been in school for awhile, he/she should be able to design a house. However, I fully recognize that, without experience, one simply cannot realize how arrogant this belief is. Therefore I sympathize with the poor OP who has no clue what he is getting himself into.
The fact is, like lb said, designing a house is NOT EASY, and many architects are not good at it. I myself have only had a few years' residential experience, and after years in the field I would STILL be freaked out at the thought of designing my own parents' house and would probably partner up with somebody else, if for no other reason than to simply have a sounding board and someone to bounce ideas around with.
If I were you, Original Poster, I would explain very clearly to your parents that you would absolutely love to design them a house, but at this point in your career you are simply not ready. (Trust me, from your post I can tell you have absolutely NO idea what you're getting yourself into. Do you know how to manage a contractor? How to shepherd your parents through legal construction contracts, not to mention bidding and VE decisions? How to design a mechanical system--because you can bet your parents won't want to pay for an MEP engineer...)
THEN explain to them that you, despite not being ready right NOW, really don't want to miss out on this amazing design opportunity in the FUTURE. Flatter them. Tell them how honored you are that they are interested in your help. Humble yourself. And just keep repeating : "I really don't feel comfortable designing something for you until I've had a few years in the field to practice my art, and to learn more about construction. I want to be able to give you the best home you can possibly have, and repay you for all your love and support over the years, and I just can't do that right now. If you can possibly wait 3 years, I would very much love to design for you at that point. But now, I feel like it would just result in a messy construction process, probably cost you more than it should due to my utter inexperience with construction management, and ultimately would not result in a satisfactory house design or construction experience for any of us. If you can see clear to waiting, I promise I will be able to give you the experience and the house you deserve in a few years. If you absolutely don't feel you can wait, then please let me suggest another architect who could do the work for you now, and perhaps I can partner with him/her."
I would absolutely NOT attempt to continue with this "project" right now, in any case. Do you even carry insurance? I would urge you not to design your parents a house until you are experienced. You and they will both end up getting hurt, and no one will end up happy with the result. (I am a congenital optimist and that is still my advice. This is one area I just don't mess around in.)
this KJ/mantaray pessimistic "optimistic" attitude will perhaps partially answers those who queried on other threads why is it that there are more independent practicing young architects in Europe than in the U.S and why conemporary architecture in Europe is, generally, 'better' and less institutionalized.
Al that from what I posted, Pgub? From my reasonable doubting that the typical student is up to the task at hand? What exactly are you disputing?
Your "institutionalized" comment... not that you know me, but I can't tell you how far off that one is...! Anyway, most of my above commentary would apply to a freshly licensed fully "institutionalized" young architect. Right client, right architect, right time.
And as for your "better" contemporary architecture in Europe statement... well, that's a different topic altogether, but I'll bet a few here in addition to myself might be willing to take you to task on that one.
PGUB -- any house designs/photos of your own you'd care to share? I'm currently working on a house project on my own... 3500 SF in the SD/DD phase, and I'll post some stuff soon.
Well, Pretty Girl, that question of less "independent young practicing architects" brings completely different topics into play. I strongly feel that a lot of the reason for this is:
a) a lack of contractor expertise in America (in the absence of proper architectural detailing, you can't necessarily trust a contractor to build with the best methods) (this lack of expertise stems from the downward slide of the tradesman culture... but i digress)
b) much more permissive tort law system
c) stricter requirements for permitting (common reqmt for licensed architect stamp in order to receive permit; strict control over licensure)
Before I began working in the field, I used to think it was a shame that I couldn't just go out and open my own firm, like I could in Europe... now I thank goodness that, in this legal environment, I didn't try until I had some experience.
If you aren't necessarily experienced in all the technical detailing as a young architect in europe, you can at least trust the contractor further than you can in 99% of american markets. And if anything DOES fall through the cracks, as i understand it from readings, you're less liable to lawsuits. PLUS it seems, anecdotally, that european architecture schools put a greater focus on technical expertise than american in the first place; therefore it is more likely that a recent graduate would have adequate knowledge to detail a building. (I don't know of a single american architecture school that comes close to matching a school like the ETH in this regard, for example.)
As a side note, I mentioned that I am an optimist because anyone who has read any portion of the more than 1,000 comments I've posted on this site would know that. I am, in fact, generally an optimist & an encourager, and was not trying to be snide as you seem to think. Rather I think it gives my comments in this particular case more weight.
K.J: And as for your "better" contemporary architecture in Europe statement...
me:will perhaps partially answers those who queried on other threads
that is to say, not my statement per se. it has been expressed many times in comparing US vs European architecture, architectural practice and lately architectural journalism on archinect. also note i said that it was [/i]perhaps partially[/i] the reason.
K.J: PGUB -- any house designs/photos of your own you'd care to share?
whatever work I do would be irrelevant to the point at hand. I practice in neither North America nor Europe and neither am I from either region. This, of course, in response to what i assume is a desire, on your part, to be pertinent as opposed to comparing organ size on archinect.
re:optimistm;/pessimism: the history of your person or comments is irrelevant; my comment concerned itself with your immediate attitude concurrent with your posts here and not with the breadth of you. and that your attitude here is optimistic, in my opinion, is your own opinion.
mantaray;
your points make sense and, contrary to your insinuation, they compliment, and justify, my suggestion linking your response to stated concerns regarding differences between US and European architecture/architectural practice. we can also suggest that systems are a people's creation and reflects their cultures. you say you found your state conducive to your system, you're also saying your system is conducive to your state (by virtue of your acquiescence to it). i say the individuals justify the system; you say the system justifies the individuals. you're pretty much saying what i'm saying in that way; i wonder why you think you describe completely different topics or why you think you are in accord with KJ (who obviously is playing down the institutional aspect where you further elaborate on it).
you say you found your state conducive to your system, you're also saying your system is conducive to your state (by virtue of your acquiescence to it). i say the individuals justify the system; you say the system justifies the individuals.
Sorry, this makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm not sure what meaning you are ascribing to the words "state" and "system" in this case (I've tried reading it a few different ways), therefore I'm sorry but I don't understand your comments.
My above description is meant to portray the (in my opinion, lamentable) state of the construction industry in america; therefore, given these facts, my opinion is that it's better to wait until one has experience in construction before attempting to design a house for one's parents. It seems like you are making some kind of an argument for a chicken and egg scenario that has nothing to do with the simple state of affairs in the industry in this country, and the reasons for my advice to the original poster.
Although optimism, I agree, is in the eye of the holder, "encouragement" is not and thus why I characterized the body of my comments that way above. I typically encourage people to go out on a limb and try new things; in this somewhat singular exception, I do not.
Guys I don’t know where to share my thanks! Thank you everyone! I decided that I would forward my parents to this post. Well to my amazement they were 100% supportive and were actually happy with my honesty. Now the dilemma. My parents are cheap. C-H-E-A-P. They won’t hire an architect because, well how do I put it, it’s going to be an arm and a leg for them (please I don’t need a lecture on this, I know, and they are not going to change their minds). I understand their point of view as they don’t have the spare change to hire one. Now I overheard my father talking about a “designer” over the phone with one of his friends who is currently getting his house built. I probed deeper into who this individual was, and looks like he is just a CAD jockey who designed our friends house. Now I’ve seen his floor plans (oh he doesn’t know AutoCAD) and wouldn’t say his layouts are the best, or if he is better than myself. He has a background in structural engineering (Yes that would be the last person I want my parents to hire). Now I feel like I have to do something here. I would feel horrible if this guy designs this house because I will be living in this house. I’ve seen his work and don’t think it will be up to my parents demands, and the last thing I want in my life is to see them disappointed as this would probably be the house we will be living in for the rest of our lives. Now everyone here has had me thinking here. I used to work at a small firm that specializes in residential. It’s only 3 guys and the principal. Principal loves me, begged me to stay with him, and I left for a better offer, and I wasn’t thinking with my right head. Honestly I regretted that disicision because that new opportunity wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. So I’ve been thinking of e-mailing him so I can work for him (for free, don't mind as I will be earning IDP credits) and in return he can help me with the overall design of the house. In all honesty that is all I need help with. I have no problems in putting together a set of CDs, actually I overly confident in putting CDs together as I’ve been on projects fro SD to CD approval. However I just don’t know where to start in the e-mail. Or if I should e-mail him at all. I know he would love to still have me around his office, as I didn’t burn any bridges with him, but I feel akward in how to word this email. Suggestions?
Designing the Dream House for the Parents
Yes the dreaded day when an empty plot of land owned by a relative awaits your design for their perfect dream. Note: this is not my Uncle Bob or Aunt Tilly, these are my Parents! The most demanding clients one can face, but where do I start, I truly love 'em and consider them more like my brother and sister but designing their dream house is just pushing me over the edge. You would think I would have an upper hand in the design when I still live with them and know what they want and how to make their lives easier. My brother being handicap, who is unable to walk or talk is a big influence on the design of the house. You would think I would be overly inspired for him, but I've ran into a brick wall. My parents lately are overly demanding. I don't feel motivated for some odd reason. I've been working on an initial design and nothing seems to be working out, and I just feel very incompetent. You would figure that almost being a post graduate I can design a 3,500-4,000 sq. ft. house with no problem. Wrong! Overall I feel very sour about this, and them constantly bugging me every single day on how the house is coming along, is driving me mad when in fact haven't looked at the design for weeks. I can't visualize this house within this awkwardly flag lot in close vicinity of other houses in a "prestigious" neighborhood. I've even gone to the brink of scrapping my entire design and looking at stock plans off the internet and seeing what works, accommodating what is needed for my family. For me I do not feel inspired by the houses around the neighborhood, it's the typical contemporary stucco house that you see everywhere else. Quoted by my parents "We just want a house". Now looking at these stock plans I feel like a complete failure. I feel miserable, lost, and angry at myself for something that would be a wet dream for anyone else, but has turned into a nightmare for me.
do you lack confidence in your ability to deliver a design that your parents would accept...i.e. that would impress your parents?
or
are you imagining and worried that your parents would not be able to cope with the design you could deliver and you therefore feel prematurely frustrated, torn between the imminent banality of domesticity and your design ideals?
or
you just can't be bothered?
serves you right for thinking of designing a 4-5,000 sq. ft. house would be a nothing but an easy shot you pumped up architecture student you!! you are naive. people work years just to get their own projects and learn how to design a house. go back to school and tell your parents to hire a real architect!
just talk to them about how difficult it is for you, you say you're pretty close so they should understand and back off a bit. take some time off of it and focus on other stuff, at some point it will come back to you and you'll know what to do.
monkey, been there, and avoided it. you have to start talking to your parents like clients or you risk everything. forget they are your parents, and interview them, get them to understand your needs, their needs, site needs, brother's needs. if you still can't do it, contact a local, and see if you can work together.
are you charging your parents? you better, they'll appreciate the professionalism. don't punk out.
i understand the other part too, my brother wanted me to "design? him a tattoo, copy some design, but i refused, i'm not a circus geek, i don't perform on command, it wasn't inspiring anything.
The advice to partner with a more experienced architect is fantastic. When I was in school I tried to do some house designs for some people on the side and it was not really a great experience. There is so much to learn about dealing with clients as well as actual design work that just isn't taught in school.
Partnering with outside architects seems like a good idea. The problem when doing anything for free is taht you run the risk of being taken adavntage of. Not necessarily intentionally, but when people see $$=time, then they are more efficient at communicating and careful not to ask for silly, whimsical things, or, worst, give you "ideas".
BUT, overall, I'd say you gotta suck it up. Most would kill for an opportunity like that and to think you'd actually be looking at stock plans and not even telling your parents the truth (not looking at the drawings for weeks??!! WHAT!!! You'd be fired on the spot!).
Really, you gotta do better. I can understand the pain and frustration, but you've been given an opportunity most don't get until decades later, if at all.
I am with mdz - stop pouting and get it done, or hire a "real" architect (not some pathetic stock plans!)
Or, if you just can't do it and they can't afford (although anyone building a 5k house better be able to afford an architect or they are just buying crap space) one, get a colleague or classmate to design it.
Keep in mind that they are giving you a massive career opportunity here.
I have to disagree with this whole thing about " massive career opportunity".
There is ALWAYS the right client for the right architect.
Maybe your parents are just not the right clients for you...and that is totally fine.
I myself had the chance to design one house in los angeles...my first international project!
So for many people it is like the realization of a dream...an international project..wow!!!
Well...during the first meeting with the client, he told me: " This is not your project, this is my project. You're going to do exactly what I want. I know you, architects...you guys want to control everything. But this is not gonna work for me. This is my house, it's gonna be my way"
I don't need to say that the rest of the story was just pure nightmare.
I gave up the job after I was done with the submittal process...I just couldn't take it that situation.
So, if your parents are not the right client for you, so don't do it. You will regret immensely once the construction starts.
gosh, what a dramatic difference in culture. i would actually feel it would be really inappropriate to charge my parents money for designing their house or even considering them "clients". they did pay for your whole childhood.
gaas, you took on that project? the first half of that first sentence would have had me standing up and walking out the door, laughing as i was spitting out my $8 quadruple espresso.
PGUB, i am sorry, but if my parents took advantage of me, just because they birthed and paid my upbringing, well, then i'll charge double, because the likelihood of me wanting to spend x-mas with them would be nil.
k4 -
some folks have issues working with their families (for their own personal reasons), though others would look at it as an opportunity to do something daring or different, possibly something wonderful for your brother and parents?
if you would rather not have anything to do with working with your parents, would you consider referring someone else to do it? and if your parents accepted, would that insult or disappoint you even more (now as well as later, more so if it is built and very successful)?
perhaps you might consider involving a colleague or more experienced architect-friend to assist you with managing the project if it is your first "real life" project experience, and help you get through this (as another option).
Check out Maison A Bourdeaux, a house designed by Rem Koolhaas with Cecil Balmond for a man in a wheelchair. It might be inspiring to see how other people have dealt with universal circulation on a similar domestic scale.
Other than that, take your time. Why do your parents insist you do this project before you're ready. Tell them you want to do it right.
k4dm -- any images of what you've designed thus far?
do the drawings and renderings to put in your portfolio knowing full well that the actual chances of it getting built are about 2 percent. trust me i have experience with this.
I'm torn here. A house for one's parents -- I'm too late, but I wish I had been able to do that. There would not be words for pulling that one off.
At the same time, I like gaas's statement -- "right client, right time". In other words, in hindsight, I am glad I did not ever compel my parents to build something that I designed as a student. I could do it now, but could not have done it then.
Imagine the hindsight regret you'd feel down the road KNOWING that you had not been up to the task. Yet there it would stand.
I've said it before and actually gotten some argument, but well- designed houses are extremely difficult projects. I think you should walk first for a while, then run.
OK, so, I've been practicing for 15 years, registered for 7 years and specialized in residential for only the last 4.
I have to say: not every architect knows how to design a house!
It's not an easy job. Like KJ said, a well-designed home is a challenging project. Residential architecture is a specialty just like hospital design or retail or commercial fitout or churches. I've known architects of institutional work who worked with other designers to do their own homes, even, because they knew that residential design was not something in which they really had any experience. Not a week ago I spoke to a exceptionally talented architect who typically does commercial work lamenting how difficult it is to get all the residential plumbing selections made for a mixed-use project with a few apartments.
To everyone: don't think that just because you can design some things well that means you can design everything well!
To k4dmnky or however you spell it: recently out of school, it's no wonder you can't design a house. I didn't know how to design a kitchen - let alone a whole house! - until I'd done half a dozen of them. I wish I could go back in time and redesign my current kitchen, because it's lousy compared to what I could do now, four years into a residential remodel specialty!
First off, stop beating yourself up. Take a deep breath and go ahead and look at stock plans. Bring the ones you like to your parents and review with them what you think are the pros and cons of each one. Then combine, tweak, adjust, overlay, sketch, manipulate - in other words, design - a version of them that works for your family. Think about what you and they don't want as a way to help you figure out what they do want.
And as a separate conversation: working with family can be hard. My sister had someone else design her house, and just as well, as I'd rather not enter that client/architect relationship with her. I looked over her plans and made a few comments and suggestions, but that was it. (Some day, if she wants to design a vacation home, the kind of casual, whimsical, less-stressful project than the one she wakes up in every day, I may do it, and challenge her to let me do some work that is important/serious to me.) Your parents need to understand that you are, like every other recent grad, not necessarily yet qualified to do this project, but! that you can certainly make a stock plan better for them.
Architecture is a long, slow profession. Other opportunities, when you have more of a voice, will arise. Calm down and try to approach this as a learning opportunity.
yes, and being overly rushed isn't a good thing-which is one of my biggest obstacles to overcome...
"Quoted by my parents "We just want a house". "
So... here's maybe another great lesson: Not everyone who needs a house also needs an architect. It took me while to learn that -- I think I'm still learning it.
I think you have to be honest with yourself and your parents and admit that you have to lower the expectations on both sides. This will take some pressure off for you but you have to explain to them that school doesn't make you an expert, experience does.
Think of yourself less as an architect who has to manage everything and more of a consultant who gathers the data for the program/needs etc. and makes suggestions based on what you learned in school.
And seriously, stock plans? I am sure you flipped through some serious housing books while in school, I hope?
"I think you have to be honest with yourself and your parents and admit that you have to lower the expectations on both sides."
Hmm -- lower than "We just want a house"...? That's pretty definitively low already.
Ckl, I probably understand what you mean by that, but it's not the solution I'd look for in this or any case.
The parents don't seem to need an architect -- they "just want a house", and the stock plans seem fine -- but, for the sake of argument, say that they do need an architect. and do have some specific goals in mind... well, rather than asking them to diminish their expectations, I'd suggest that they research and hire an experienced architect.
I meant lower the expectation of what their kid can really do.
there's nothing wrong with looking at stock plans to look for organizational ideas and room sizes etc...the trick with residential clients is to focus them from wanting to much or to loosen them up from being to timid. this is the other issue of not having designed residential projects. you have to be a freaking psychologist half the time. if you aren't getting paid why not have some fun... try to get a program together which includes some visuals ie things they like. this need not be literal. you can go on feelings here... and then post it on archinect and have a design charette or something with the people on the site. you'd be surprised what might happen....also, check out this site for some design pointers...
of course, if you look at those stock plans without the ability to discern the horrible from the usuable you could be screwed.
I don't know, what is the point of education, we always have stock plans.
Or maybe it's just me, I had at least 5 residential studios in undergrad.
Im wondering if you are simultaneously trying to work on the design
+ the CD's? If so you should stop and reconsider your approach.
If I were in your shoes I would first figure out what "dream home" means to your parents. For my father-in-law it would be a log cabin in the woods, but for my mother it would be a Mediterranean villa that reminds her of her honeymoon. Establishing what they want is most important. Don't be afraid to give your clients (parents) a home work assignment - have them gather images from magazines and websites of things that they like. (also have them look through websites like space-invading, or materialicious, or of your favorite architect - even though many of the projects they would never consider living in, there may be something that sparks some curiosity, even if it is just a combination of materials)
I would also drive, or walk through the neighborhood on which they will be building and have them tell you what they like or dont like about the houses that they will be living next to.
While your parents are gathering images and information on things they like you can be doing two things. Site Analysis and Performance Programming. Go about a design if there were no limitations, like you would if you were in studio - even if that means creating two schemes (first one the way you would do it - and then a second for your parents) If you ground your design in site and perf.prgmng than there will be many things you can borrow for your parents scheme - THEN SHOW THEM BOTH! - they will most likely not go with your scheme, but there may be something that they like, or that opens their eyes a bit. Again, it may be as limited to materials, or details
For the performance programming, HOW DO THEY LIVE? what is there morning routine, what is their evening / weekend routine - how do they entertain, etc, etc... Example - My father in-law likes to wake up early and have a cup of coffee alone at sunrise - so i would give him a patio / kitchen layout with easterly exposure, away from the rest of the living spaces - while my dad would much rather have a beer and a cigar at sunset with a group of friends, so i would give him a patio, with retaining/sitting walls and a fire pit with westerly exposure.
I have some friends how like to have large parties outside, while other friends prefer to host intimate parties sitting around the kitchen. My mother hosts a 50 person christmas party every year so i would have to take that into consideration. My aunt likes to have her out of town friends stay with her, but wants privacy from them so a separate guest suite would be needed while my grandmother loves to have the kids stay over night and wants them close. My in-laws (again) father likes to fall asleep while watching TV and mother likes complete silence when sleeping.
Will this be the house they stay in for the rest of their lives? - if so, dont put their bedroom and laundry on the first floor level so they dont have to walk up and down stairs when their mobility becomes limited with age. Do they have hobbies? give them spaces to do what they like and locate their next to/far away from main living spaces based upon how they wish to function.
You mentioned a disabled sibling, so study up on your local access board and dont just allocate for the bare minimum of clearances, etc. make sure that he/she can live and maneuver comfortably.
You will know the answers to most of these questions already, if not - dont be afraid to ask. If you design based upon site, climate, and how they live you should be on your way to success...
Back to style/form when it is determined what is their favorite, study up and stay true to the original details and proportions of that style. meaning - if their favorite is craftsman, dont design them a house with tuscan columns and 20 ft vaulted ceilings.
And for sizes of spaces - take a cue from their current home - will they be buying new furniture or using what they have - measure and plan spaces around the actual sizes of the furniture.
When it comes time for CD's keep it simple at first - figure out an economical framing solution and how to give them a efficient envelope.
Are they getting multiple bids - or do they know of a contractor that they want to use/trust if the latter, once the design work is underway you can sit down the them and see what they need for deliverables.
correction... bedroom and laundry on the first floor level is desired if living in this house into their elder years.
Awesome post, cln1, and super helpful to anyone designing a house!
Note that a benefit of stock plans is that someone else has already worked out a lot of the very basic constructability issues. For example, do they teach you in school that a 9' wood stud is going to mean a lot of cutting and waste, or that a cabinet 22" wide is going to have to be custom or that a 7' door is typically close to twice the cost of a 6'-8" door? Revising someone else's very standard framing to make just a portion of it custom is going to teach you a lot AND ensure that a contractor doesn't either bid the job super high because it has silly difficulties built in or just laugh at you (or both).
Great post cln. I'm working on a home for my brother and his family, and am therefore following this thread attentively.
We (my partner and I) have approached schematic design in a way that takes cues from many of the performance issues that cln mentions. In fact, that's how we became involved in the first place (bro and wife already had land and a builder's plan, and we started asking questions about the home and how they live... I'll save that story for another post).
I never had a 'residential' studio in undergrad (out of 8 curricular studios and an elective studio). Of course we investigated human occupation of space at scales similar to those found in the single family home, but I never designed a house (although a portion of my class did a quick single family residential project in our final semester)...
Thanks LB/AP - Whenever I work on a side project it is usually for a friend / family member - and I find that designing based upon prerformance programming makes it easier for the client to understand why things are orientated a certain way, and also allowes them to see the benefit of a professional vs. stock plans.
There is a certain amount of education involved in working with any residential (especially suburban) client. I have found that the "I am the architect with the education and artistic vision, therefore my way is better" approach does not get you too far. Not only will you most likely lose the project and the fee, but that client would then resort back to stock plans thus increasing the amount of built crap in the world.
So alongside of the performance programming and site analysis to plan out the location and flow of spaces I will give the client multiple options - both modern and traditional - and explain the pros and cons of both. (pros and cons of cost, efficiency and use) In the end, if they choose traditional I show them how to stay true to the original intent of that style. Even though the form and/or materials may not be exactly what I would choose I can take some comfort in knowing that the spaces are well organized based upon how they live.
One last important point is to show them that if properly designed there may not be a need to build 5,000 sf when 3,000 would suffice.
How many houses have you done on the side cln1? Any images?
No 9 foot pre-cut studs where you're at, LB? 104-5/8". No waste.
I don't think that the solution to the parents' house needs has much to with their son at this juncture. Attempting to give K4dmnky the above beginner mini-course on house design ain't gonna help the parents much either. (Not to mention that I don't agree with much of the prescribed approach outlined above, cln1's post in particular.)
I'd stand by what I said earlier -- and, honestly, where I *thought* LB was headed ina n early post -- that is: walk, then run. K4dmonky, this is your parents money you would be experimenting with; unless you are truly an exceptional exception to the rule, then it's pretty unlikely that you are the right match at the right time for this project.
K.J. unless you are truly an exceptional exception to the rule, then it's pretty unlikely that you are the right match at the right time for this project
thats the other extreme from the "you can do it all" mind set you disagree with. somewhere in between? perhaps, k4dONnk3y (please find another title, your current one is quite annoying to type), you need to sit down with yourself, before sitting down with your parents again, figure out what you're reasonably good at (perhaps the preliminary design stage, perhaps the CD stage, perhaps coordinating between different parties...etc) and what you're definitely not as experienced in. subsequently, after identifying what it is you won't be able to handle by yourself, research and scout around for complementary parties that you could work with in your capacity and the legal contractual implications; to what degree do you want to be in control of the process and quality of execution. i am sure, at this stage, many experienced archinectors would be able to advise you on this more specific matter once you get to this stage. from your post, you have not yet properly put your finger on the wound...precise site of insecurity. working with those complementary parties will also increase your knowledge where it lacks.
see, i called you k4 dONk3y rather than k4d mONk3y; reap what you k4d SOW.
My view is the other "extreme"?
It's like, say you're fresh out of plastic surgery school, all educated and ready to go. Then, the opportunity arises and now that you think about it, Mom's nose DOES sound like a good starter project. Because hey, there's a lot of things a kid could learn by choppin' around in there. Gotta start somehwere, right? Might even learn enough to do a slightly better job on the next nose.
Enjoy, Mom.
but if mom came to you with a broken nose and "needed" a new one, would you turn her down?
Well, trace, I must have missed the emergency part of K4dm's initial description...
And is there ever really such an emergency that warrants hastily rendering Mom Bob Hope-like?
The point was that they are going to build their dream home and asked their son (right?) to do it. There won't be another chance.
Well the "won't be another chance" part needs to be highly qualified....that is, someone else's need has no affect on your own ability to help resolve that need. Someone tells me they desperately need to be air-lifted via helicopter to the west ridge of the Himalayas, I can't help them. Can I, acting upon the helpful encouragement from bystanders, sieze the opportunity anyway, put them into the helicopter, and then smash them into the ground? Probably.
Plus, if you read the initial post, I really don't see where the parents actually indicated they were asking for a "dream house"... what they did say, was "We just want a house".
If we were betting about this, well something just tells me K4dm did a lot more enthusiastic volunteering for the job than his "just-want-a-house" parents did offering. And, in the process, seems like he might've sort of conjured up the "dream house" part in his own head. And we've all done that, right?
Although I completely agree with cln1's approach in one sense (aka, if you know what you're doing, and you really think it would be a good fit for you to work with friends / relatives, here's a good way of going about it), I agree with KJ for this particular project.
In some sense I cannot believe the Original Poster's arrogance in thinking that because he/she's been in school for awhile, he/she should be able to design a house. However, I fully recognize that, without experience, one simply cannot realize how arrogant this belief is. Therefore I sympathize with the poor OP who has no clue what he is getting himself into.
The fact is, like lb said, designing a house is NOT EASY, and many architects are not good at it. I myself have only had a few years' residential experience, and after years in the field I would STILL be freaked out at the thought of designing my own parents' house and would probably partner up with somebody else, if for no other reason than to simply have a sounding board and someone to bounce ideas around with.
If I were you, Original Poster, I would explain very clearly to your parents that you would absolutely love to design them a house, but at this point in your career you are simply not ready. (Trust me, from your post I can tell you have absolutely NO idea what you're getting yourself into. Do you know how to manage a contractor? How to shepherd your parents through legal construction contracts, not to mention bidding and VE decisions? How to design a mechanical system--because you can bet your parents won't want to pay for an MEP engineer...)
THEN explain to them that you, despite not being ready right NOW, really don't want to miss out on this amazing design opportunity in the FUTURE. Flatter them. Tell them how honored you are that they are interested in your help. Humble yourself. And just keep repeating : "I really don't feel comfortable designing something for you until I've had a few years in the field to practice my art, and to learn more about construction. I want to be able to give you the best home you can possibly have, and repay you for all your love and support over the years, and I just can't do that right now. If you can possibly wait 3 years, I would very much love to design for you at that point. But now, I feel like it would just result in a messy construction process, probably cost you more than it should due to my utter inexperience with construction management, and ultimately would not result in a satisfactory house design or construction experience for any of us. If you can see clear to waiting, I promise I will be able to give you the experience and the house you deserve in a few years. If you absolutely don't feel you can wait, then please let me suggest another architect who could do the work for you now, and perhaps I can partner with him/her."
I would absolutely NOT attempt to continue with this "project" right now, in any case. Do you even carry insurance? I would urge you not to design your parents a house until you are experienced. You and they will both end up getting hurt, and no one will end up happy with the result. (I am a congenital optimist and that is still my advice. This is one area I just don't mess around in.)
this KJ/mantaray pessimistic "optimistic" attitude will perhaps partially answers those who queried on other threads why is it that there are more independent practicing young architects in Europe than in the U.S and why conemporary architecture in Europe is, generally, 'better' and less institutionalized.
Al that from what I posted, Pgub? From my reasonable doubting that the typical student is up to the task at hand? What exactly are you disputing?
Your "institutionalized" comment... not that you know me, but I can't tell you how far off that one is...! Anyway, most of my above commentary would apply to a freshly licensed fully "institutionalized" young architect. Right client, right architect, right time.
And as for your "better" contemporary architecture in Europe statement... well, that's a different topic altogether, but I'll bet a few here in addition to myself might be willing to take you to task on that one.
PGUB -- any house designs/photos of your own you'd care to share? I'm currently working on a house project on my own... 3500 SF in the SD/DD phase, and I'll post some stuff soon.
Well, Pretty Girl, that question of less "independent young practicing architects" brings completely different topics into play. I strongly feel that a lot of the reason for this is:
a) a lack of contractor expertise in America (in the absence of proper architectural detailing, you can't necessarily trust a contractor to build with the best methods) (this lack of expertise stems from the downward slide of the tradesman culture... but i digress)
b) much more permissive tort law system
c) stricter requirements for permitting (common reqmt for licensed architect stamp in order to receive permit; strict control over licensure)
Before I began working in the field, I used to think it was a shame that I couldn't just go out and open my own firm, like I could in Europe... now I thank goodness that, in this legal environment, I didn't try until I had some experience.
If you aren't necessarily experienced in all the technical detailing as a young architect in europe, you can at least trust the contractor further than you can in 99% of american markets. And if anything DOES fall through the cracks, as i understand it from readings, you're less liable to lawsuits. PLUS it seems, anecdotally, that european architecture schools put a greater focus on technical expertise than american in the first place; therefore it is more likely that a recent graduate would have adequate knowledge to detail a building. (I don't know of a single american architecture school that comes close to matching a school like the ETH in this regard, for example.)
As a side note, I mentioned that I am an optimist because anyone who has read any portion of the more than 1,000 comments I've posted on this site would know that. I am, in fact, generally an optimist & an encourager, and was not trying to be snide as you seem to think. Rather I think it gives my comments in this particular case more weight.
Ahh KJ posted at same time. Hear hear.
K.J: And as for your "better" contemporary architecture in Europe statement...
me:will perhaps partially answers those who queried on other threads
that is to say, not my statement per se. it has been expressed many times in comparing US vs European architecture, architectural practice and lately architectural journalism on archinect. also note i said that it was [/i]perhaps partially[/i] the reason.
K.J: PGUB -- any house designs/photos of your own you'd care to share?
whatever work I do would be irrelevant to the point at hand. I practice in neither North America nor Europe and neither am I from either region. This, of course, in response to what i assume is a desire, on your part, to be pertinent as opposed to comparing organ size on archinect.
re:optimistm;/pessimism: the history of your person or comments is irrelevant; my comment concerned itself with your immediate attitude concurrent with your posts here and not with the breadth of you. and that your attitude here is optimistic, in my opinion, is your own opinion.
mantaray;
your points make sense and, contrary to your insinuation, they compliment, and justify, my suggestion linking your response to stated concerns regarding differences between US and European architecture/architectural practice. we can also suggest that systems are a people's creation and reflects their cultures. you say you found your state conducive to your system, you're also saying your system is conducive to your state (by virtue of your acquiescence to it). i say the individuals justify the system; you say the system justifies the individuals. you're pretty much saying what i'm saying in that way; i wonder why you think you describe completely different topics or why you think you are in accord with KJ (who obviously is playing down the institutional aspect where you further elaborate on it).
Pgub -- well, none of that applies to me... I don't even play the organ.
Sorry, this makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm not sure what meaning you are ascribing to the words "state" and "system" in this case (I've tried reading it a few different ways), therefore I'm sorry but I don't understand your comments.
My above description is meant to portray the (in my opinion, lamentable) state of the construction industry in america; therefore, given these facts, my opinion is that it's better to wait until one has experience in construction before attempting to design a house for one's parents. It seems like you are making some kind of an argument for a chicken and egg scenario that has nothing to do with the simple state of affairs in the industry in this country, and the reasons for my advice to the original poster.
Although optimism, I agree, is in the eye of the holder, "encouragement" is not and thus why I characterized the body of my comments that way above. I typically encourage people to go out on a limb and try new things; in this somewhat singular exception, I do not.
Guys I don’t know where to share my thanks! Thank you everyone! I decided that I would forward my parents to this post. Well to my amazement they were 100% supportive and were actually happy with my honesty. Now the dilemma. My parents are cheap. C-H-E-A-P. They won’t hire an architect because, well how do I put it, it’s going to be an arm and a leg for them (please I don’t need a lecture on this, I know, and they are not going to change their minds). I understand their point of view as they don’t have the spare change to hire one. Now I overheard my father talking about a “designer” over the phone with one of his friends who is currently getting his house built. I probed deeper into who this individual was, and looks like he is just a CAD jockey who designed our friends house. Now I’ve seen his floor plans (oh he doesn’t know AutoCAD) and wouldn’t say his layouts are the best, or if he is better than myself. He has a background in structural engineering (Yes that would be the last person I want my parents to hire). Now I feel like I have to do something here. I would feel horrible if this guy designs this house because I will be living in this house. I’ve seen his work and don’t think it will be up to my parents demands, and the last thing I want in my life is to see them disappointed as this would probably be the house we will be living in for the rest of our lives. Now everyone here has had me thinking here. I used to work at a small firm that specializes in residential. It’s only 3 guys and the principal. Principal loves me, begged me to stay with him, and I left for a better offer, and I wasn’t thinking with my right head. Honestly I regretted that disicision because that new opportunity wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. So I’ve been thinking of e-mailing him so I can work for him (for free, don't mind as I will be earning IDP credits) and in return he can help me with the overall design of the house. In all honesty that is all I need help with. I have no problems in putting together a set of CDs, actually I overly confident in putting CDs together as I’ve been on projects fro SD to CD approval. However I just don’t know where to start in the e-mail. Or if I should e-mail him at all. I know he would love to still have me around his office, as I didn’t burn any bridges with him, but I feel akward in how to word this email. Suggestions?
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