I would first comb through and edit the numerous grammatical errors... it's really distracting to read poorly constructed sentences.

I have quickly tried to fix your statement of purpose:

 

The reason I chose architecture as my path in life is to enliven the lives of people through architecture. I have always been an enthusiast of giving back to others who are in need. At the age of sixteen I became familiar with the lives of people less fortunate and it gave me a lesson that human beings are divine through culture. I traveled to the "villas" in Argentina where people are less fortunate and filled their lives with happiness through playing soccer. They truly lived a warm life at their humble home, but they were not homebodies. The realization of such a great culture is the driving force of my inclination towards architecture. Helping people through the vision of my design with consideration of their culture is my path in life. the world, though harsh under crucial circumstances, is truly grand. To be a part of designing architecture that will change people's lives is a legacy I hope to leave behind.

As an undergraduate, I pursued Urban Studies and Planning where I learnedsustainable concepts, design guidelines, and the study of human nature as it exists through design. The knowledge I have obtained from my education, and various eclectic experiences that have led up to this point as an Architectural Renderer at Ray Kelley Associates, Head Designer and Landscaper at Palisades Grdening, and my intake experience at Worley Parsons for the Department of Water and Power, has provided me with an exceptional backgroudn in the practical aspects of design, landscape, and extensive interpersonal skills.

I have developed a great admiration for the program of UCLA considering its well-known stature in the academia and its strong urban planning principles. Additionally, department's practical emphasis on sustainability together with designing for human interactivity has intrigued me to pursue UCLA. My goal as a student at UCLA would be to learn how to provide solutions to problems surrounding compounded urban complications in the context of prodigious economic, political, and cultural imbalance in the world through. I strive to question , develop, and provide solutions to distinct world populations, or providing my knowledge to achieve higher innovative development within the United States. Thom Mayne, a renowned professor at UCLA, has inspired me through his "The culture Now Project" to recognize the effectiveness of criticially studying architectural culture  while additionally pushing it forward with urban studies ideologies.

My future goals after UCLA are to utilize and facilitate sustainable architecture practices along with Urban Studies philosophies to benefit the quality of life of human beings; by initiating a new chapter in my life by starting my own firm whilst working with organizations and populations in need of solutions to fiscal, cultural, and political issues through design. It's not about saying, it's about visualizing and making your work accessible to all who will benefit from it. Richard Rogers once said, "My passion and great enjoyment for architecture [...] is because I believe we -- architects -- can effect the quality of life of the people." Duly noted, I have adopted and will continue to apply this modernist belief during the course of my studies and upon graduating from UCLA, will strive to keep the quality of life through applying urban research methods and innovative design guidelines that suit different cultural ways of living. 

 

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Your intro paragraph was especially messy so I had to interpret what you really wanted to say. Have a look and see if my interpretation is roughly correct.

Besides grammar issues, to me, the problem of your statement is more with your philosophical insistence of obsolete modernist values. I'm pretty sure the UCLA peoples have moved on from modernism, hell even postmodernist values. Not sure if your statement will convince them.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Im a MArch applicant this year... I have been browsing through archinect and I quite like your statement! Could you please tell us did you get in at last? Thanks! :)

I don't like the fact you name dropped Thom Mayne and Richard Rogers. Name dropping Thom Mayne feels like brown nosing, and you should come up with your own personal philosophy instead of using a Rogers quote.