A few initial comments:

Not a huge fan of the green blocking (in concept, I can sort of see why you pushed the text within the green blocking from edge to edge, but you need to be more consistent when it comes to line spacing. Having your name or the Boullee lines bleed into the line below looks sloppy); same goes for the general formatting of your CV page and the circumnavigating lines - consistency is key. Set up graphic design rules and stick to them.

The text on the first page of the biotope project is kind of unreadable.

& Found: Are those photos only of the finished project? It'd be helpful to see what the salvaged piece pre-intervention looked like.

Light Sphere: text near impossible to read.

Content page could probably benefit from a bit more spacing. When I initially sawit, it didn't instantly read as a content page (possibly due to the lack of page numbering, possibly because 'L'Opera de Paris & Found" read as one line.

your text size is huge, to the point it feels intrusive.

Thanks for the comments. Little bump to see if anyone else has any feedback. Cheers.

Ben:

Thanks for the invitation to view your work.

So I have looked at your book a couple of times. First of all, I am having a bit of frustration with the issuu interface. I use two monitors, and would like to open up the full screen (flash) viewer to look at your work on one of my monitors, while having this (archinect comment editor) open on my other monitor. I cannot do this, as the flash viewer closes when I click on any other browser window. Not really your problem, but it goes to show how many possible ways of use there for any modern presentation format.

The format of your "resume page" does not bother me too much. The green lines theme discussed elsewhere in this thread is a very specific design choice, but conveys a certain personal flair without compromising the legibility and grouping of your textual information.

Overall impression: Your paintings are much more evocative than your architectural projects. Much more passionate, and resonant with emotion. (As a jazz fan, I really enjoyed the Kind of Blue project!) In contrast, the presentation of the architectural work seems more detached (I dunno, to my eye, graphically, the images are a little free floating, swimming in space, sometimes lacking in emphasis...)

For example, I don't get a real feeling about the Maritime Museum project. I get the knowledge of the fact that it is sited on a body of water first from the title and narrative. A bit from your section on the first page (blue water line), and sort of from the figure-ground relationship on the site plan. (I think) the body of water is the beige(!?) ccolor on the plan, but this color also seems to extend inland...

On the first page of the same project, you emphasize the conceptual diagram by placing it almost alone on the fist page in a sea of white space. Graphically, the smallest scale site plan overview, is perhaps the most dramatic image, and could, perhaps, be enlarged and given prominence in the composition with the other sketches, drawings and text given a subordinate scale and placement. Similarly, on the second page of this project, the small white images (free floating model shots don't really give me much of an impression of the building, (only that you have built a model...) The site massing model doesn't tell me much beyond the site plan on the previous page. Visually, the warmth of the large wood models against the black background is pleasing, but again, I would suggest focusing the view on one of these to dramatic effect. It looks like there is something interesting going on in your sections, but (even at the full screen page view) I cannot quite get a grasp of how the space works. (Where is the boat, that seems to show up only in your first diagram?)

The Interior Biotope Freelab project layout is more spirited, and seems to reflect an energy of the project. (Some of the text layout is difficult, especially the word spacing on the fist line of the narrative on page one of this project. ("This       two    week"). This is often a challenge with justifying text to both margins. You may want to experiment with other formats, or hyphenation of text towards easy reading text. The second page is nicely composed. To my eye, this layout embodies that mysterious (and subjective) characteristic of "flow". More importantly, you give me the opportunity to understand this intervention at differing scales (distances) and times of day. Perhaps this layout would benefit by utilizing the drama of a black background, which is a visual theme you seem to develop.

Again, the layout for Boulee's Opera, I think you could study the composition and emphasis. The line work diagram on the left panel seems jammed a bit close to your narrative text, and the right panel could be rebalanced to emphasize your most dramatic image, which I would say is the bottom (oblique) model view. In order to achieve this balance, and a sense of rhythm to your layout, you may find a series of smaller secondary images bordering the "showcased" image may be a useful graphic device. (To put another way, that right panel of the page seems to either have to many or too few images...)

& Found project is pretty neat! This is tied with the jazz portraits as far an effective invitation to engage the work. There is enough information that I feel like I get a sense of this "thing", its texture warmth, and history. I am left with the desire to see it in person, to examine, touch, and interact with it. The composition has good balance: Number of images and balance of scales and shapes. But it seems to me that the set of (3) squares wants to be centered below the image above rather than pressed (too) close to the right page boundary.

Solid / Void house is a pretty solid layout, and gives me a sense of the project and architecture. You are very close to creating a horizontal band across the mid page that would contain your images which are a nice blend of diagrammatic and more concrete project information. A little pushing and pulling / re-scaling would add clarity to the graphic idea.

Light sphere: Almost the perfect balance between "what is there and what is not there" for a neat little study. As I study your book, I am beginning to come to a sense of how the idea of a "virtual page fold" is influencing your layout choices. Generally it seems that you treat this as a hard division between images. This layout is an example of how breaking that rule might be beneficial. If you slid the white line illustration toward the right, overlapping the "fold" you might find a greater impact to the spread...These are only virtual pages, after all. If you are composing for hard-copy, then that is another issue...

Hydrostone layouts needs to be tamed, per other comments. (Too much, too little, white space, etc.) Again, I find the vertical offset of graphic weight from left panel to right panel on page (1) a little random. On the middle column of page (2), you show two model shots (plan and slightly oblique plan) that are essentially the same, and this redundancy does not benefit my understanding of the project. I am more interested in the exploration shown in the (3) alternate string studies then I am in the line-art below, yet these study models are deemphasized in your layout. The (3) pages explaining this project seem disconnected as a set. A narrative of the process (description of images?) and a unifying compositional theme would help me to comprehend these pages as a body of work describing the same project.

Summation: I have found that one of the challenges of this kind of presentation is working within the limitations of the graphic material available after you complete a project, and yet breaking free of the boundaries of the existing formats of that material. For example, I would imagine that much of this material was presented for pin-up crits, maybe as a series of large format panels. Take what you've got, slice it, dice it, and edit it for drama and clarity. Think of the impression that the whole portfolio will give the viewer. I don't need to see every photograph of every model you have built, to come to the conclusion that you can build models. Similarly for diagrams, and other studies. Use your material sparingly where necessary to take the viewer where you want them to go. I don't think you need to be strictly documentary of your work, either. In other words, you might take the opportunity in this kind of presentation to tweak some of the work previously created to add clarity and to suit the specific format.

Anyway...Thanks for the opportunity to study your work. I admire your earnest request for feedback, and hope you find these comments useful.

rpw

Richard,

I can't thank you enough for your feedback; that was incredibly detailed and thorough. I know I'm a few days late responding, but it took a couple read-throughs for all the info to sink in.

Currently its too late to go back and make the changes as grad school and internship applications have all (for the most part) been sent out, however, when I go back to work on the portfolio I will use your advise as much as possible. Again, can't thank you enough, I've never been given that much detailed advice on it.

I'm curious if you think the art projects should have as much emphasis as they do? You're absolutely correct in stating that they seem more emotional and livelier; I've been personally spending a lot of time trying to figure out if studio art is the direction I want to go, or architecture. Do you think firms are interested in seeing that kind of work?

Cheers,

-Ben

@BenC
You are welcome. I get that this is work has been  published and that you are in process...

I think that the practice of a profession (especially a creative one) is a journey, not a destination, and the art comes in finding a way to enjoy the ride.
Curating a retrospective of one's work can be most revealing, and provides an opportunity to reflect on past accomplishments and to plan future direction. In this way, one develops a dialogue with one's own work...

I will say, the practice of architecture (in the traditional sense of “making buildings”) is influenced by many external factors that often seem at odds with the pursuit of a “creative vision”. But, one way or another, the vision of the practitioner of any creative “service” is tempered by a need for a marketable skill / product. (Obviously, it is pretty limiting to be a painter who can't afford canvas or pigments.)

At a certain point, it becomes useful to be able to tailor presentation to specific target audience, but my sense is that, at this stage, you should show an honest portrait of who you are / where you are in your process of development and training. If you are a passionate artist, definitely express it in your portfolio.

You are looking for opportunities, getting your work out there for response and comment, thinking about what you want to do. Your commitment to this process will help illuminate your path.

The links below are to some other riffs on the portfolio review theme ~
I have found it quite interesting to have an opportunity to look at the work of others, and participate in these discussions. For example, one comment that a certain "rough around the edges" quality is acceptable and even desirable in a student portfolio...

http://archinect.com/forum/thread/38904289/money-money-also-port-crit

http://archinect.com/forum/thread/38393219/portfolio-4-international-scolarship-crit-need-feedback

http://archinect.com/forum/thread/37663517/experiences-with-personal-portfolio-websites

Best wishes!

rpw