I was busy earlier today looking for specific dialog from Fast Times at Ridgemont High to ensure that i didn't lose a bet with a coworker. I've seen the movie hundreds of times. Thousands of times possibly.
So imagine my shock in discovering the following part of the screenplay is woefully inconsistent with the scene including Charles Jefferson's little brother and Jeff Spicoli driving Charles Jefferson's car and crashing it into a construction site after the little brother speaks great lines like "you Spicoli! You see the new Playboy!"
Was anyone aware of this? I'm interested in reading the entire thing to see just how many other parts of the movie are not as they were intended. I'm not saying that's a bad thing; I'm basically saying that it's difficult to stomach the fact that such a classic movie (Criterion Collection inclusion pending) could have been different, and potentially better or worse based on liberties taken by someone involved in the production.
Here's that scene:
EXT./INT. THE BLUE MUSTANG - NIGHT
Jeff Spicoli is behind the wheel. Sitting next to
him is Little Charles, "L.C.", Jefferson's younger
brother. They're smoking grass and holding
Lowenbrau beers in between their legs. The radio is
blasting the music of Rick James.
L.C.
Hey, slow down. This is my
brother's car.
SPICOLI
I thought he was out of town.
L.C.
He is.
SPICOLI
Then don't hassle it.
They speed off down Ridgemont.
L.C.
Seen the new Playboy?
SPICOLI
Naw. Any good?
L.C.
Suzanne Somers' tits.
SPICOLI
All right.
L.C.
I like sex.
Spicoli sees something in the rearview mirror.
SPICOLI
Hold your beer down, L.C., I think
it's a cop.
Spicoli slows down. The car behind him slows down.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
This is a cop. He's definitely
cruising me at busting distance.
The high beams switch on behind Spicoli.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
The car behind Spicoli then advances to the point
where it is now almost touching the blue Mustang.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
L.C.
This ain't no cop.
The mystery car bumps them lightly from behind.
L.C. (CONT'D)
Hey! He's gonna scratch my
brother's car!
The two boys start yelling. High beams fill the
Mustang with bright light and...
EXT./INT. MUSTANG AND GRANADA
Then mystery car pulls back, then up alongside
Spicoli and L.C. on the left. We hear the music on
the radio of George Thoroughgood's "Ride On,
Josephine".
SPICOLI
It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!
L.C.
They're fuckin' with us.
The drivers of the two cars eye each others. Then
the Granada begins inching over, trying to force
Spicoli off the road.
L.C. (CONT'D)
My brother's car!
SPICOLI
All right. Die, Granada Jocks!
Spicoli guns ahead, in a real bullet move, and
easily overtakes the Granada. Spicoli is proud of
himself. He checks himself out in the rearview and
turns to L.C.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Would you roll your window up,
L.C.? It's messing my hair.
Spicoli pulls way ahead of the Granada, while L.C.
rolls his window up. Spicoli looks over to L.C. and
smiles wickedly.
Now Spicoli wants to show off. He pushes the pedal
to the floor.
L.C.
We just missed the turnoff to the
party.
SPICOLI
You know the thing I love about
Mustangs? The steering wheel.
Spicoli fingers the bubbles in the wheel.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
With a genuine Mustang steering
wheel, you can negotiate a hairpin
turn with ease, my man.
EXT./INT. MUSTANG
on the word "ease", Spicoli curls his finger into
one of the Mustang steering wheel bubbles and whips
it clockwise. The idea is to turn off onto a side
street and head back to the party. But instead, at
the moment of the hairpin turn, L.C. is attempting
to switch the radio station. Spicoli crooks his
finger farther into the bubble than he expected.
The car swings in a complete circle, a circle that
includes a bright yellow fire hydrant. The hydrant
rips the side of the car open like a can of tuna.
There is a silent moment of terror.
SPICOLI
Are you okay?
There is silence. Outside the smashed car, the
Granada Jocks pass Spicoli and L.C.
GRANADA JOCKS
Fuck youuuuuuuuuu!
Then L.C. stirs and utters his first words.
L.C.
My brother is going to kill us.
He's gonna kill you and then he's
gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us.
SPICOLI
Just be glad you're all right.
L.C.
My brother is gonna shit.
SPICOLI
Make up your mind. Is he gonna
shit, or is he gonna kill us?
L.C.
First he's gonna shit. And then
he's gonna kill us..
SPICOLI
Will you just relax, mon? He's not
gonna kill us. My father is a
television repairman. He's got all
kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.
L.C.
You can't fix this car, Spicoli.
ANGLE ON THE BLUE MUSTANG
waffled and mangled. It is just inches away from
scrap iron.
I recall an interview with the director, who very much wanted to show Mike Damone's naked body in the same scene where we see Stacy's breasts. She said she felt it was important to show how exposed he was, emotionally and socially, and his nervousness contrasted with Stacy's comfort in her nudity was an important element of the scene to her. Sadly, she couldn't show male genitalia AT ALL and still get the rating she wanted/needed to make it commercially viable. That aspect of gender bias in nudity has barely budged in almost 30 years!
Every movie is too long and needs to be cut before the final release and after the "screenplay" is off to the publisher who wants to release the screenplay simultaneously. This is a perfect scene to cut because it adds nothing and is too long and has too much dialogue. When Amy Heckerling becomes a cinema legend like Nancy Meyers the Director's Cut, with this scene and probably 15 others, will be released.
Something else that always bothers me: there's a TV version of the movie that has never been released on DVD or VHS. It contains alternate scenes as follows. I've only seen this version once and was puzzled by the scene with Brad in the counselors office talking about his future.
TV VERSION ALTERATIONS
Additonal Footage, All-American Burger Scene: After Spicoli and company take off their shirts, Spicoli tells why he has a guitar pick in his pocket: a long story about how he met Mick Jagger and Jagger gave him the pick. Spicoli then gives the pick to Eric Stoltz. After Hamilton tells Spicoli and his friends to put their shirts on, the boss chastises him for throwing away perfectly good fries when he came on duty. Brad's response: "They weren't mine."
Additional Footage, Scene Where Linda and Stacy Leave the Mall: a girl interrupts Stacy and Linda. She tells Linda a friend said she could ask Linda a question about sex and Linda would know the answer. The girl asks about birth control and Linda tells her how to go to the free clinic and get the "mini-pill" and "don't let them talk you into getting a diaphram".
Additional Footage, Class Registration Scene: Staci comes up to Brad and asks him where Lisa is. Brad complains that everbody asks him where Lisa is and how should he know? Stacy says that she has Mr. Hand for U.S. History. Brad and his friends all go "ooooh, Aloha!" together and tell Stacy she'll be fine as long as she likes "Hawaii 5-0". Stacy leaves and Brad's friend, played by Nicolas Cage, tells him that Stacy is becoming a fox. Brad's response: "really"?
New Scene: Brad and his friends go to lunch and ponder the fate of a burger worker who has been forced to go to work at Mi-T Mart.
New Scene: In the school bathroom, Spicoli tells his friends how he handled Mr. Hand. He exaggerates, telling how he ripped up Mr. Hand's notes after Hand ripped up his card. Spicoli then demands a dollar from Eric Stotlz, who gladly hands it over.
Additional Footage, Lunch Room Scene: The cute couple Brad glimpsed on the way into the parking lot come up and say hi to Linda, Linda introduces them to Stacy.
Additional Footage, Ron Johnson and Stacy Sex Scene: Ron takes off his jacket, Stacy is very uncomfortable, but forces herself into having sex with Ron.
New Scene: Stacy and Linda Walk Through the Mall Parking Structure. Stacy tells Linda that Ron called the house and her mother told him she was still in high school. Ron hasn't called since. Stacy decides if he calls again, she'll change her lie and say she's still in high school but she's eighteen.
Additonal Footage, Arcade Scene: Spicoli tells his friends how Pac-man is just like life: "decimate or get decimated". Rat and Damone discuss how the freshmen at school are all into drugs.
Altered Scene: Brad wipes the words "eat it" off mirror rather than "eat big, hairy pussy".
New scene: After being fired, Brad goes home and, in a rage, rips a burger poster off his wall.
Altered Scene: Brad doesn't masturbate when he looks out the window at Linda, in his fantasy Linda doesn't take her top off.
New Scene: Brad meets with the school counselor. Brad has been putting off college applications, tells him he has to be an adult how, has to "buckle down", "put aside all the fun", Brad complains that he's had a horrible year, his girlfriend broke up with him, he got fired from All-American Burger and two other places, he gets up at five to go to work at Mi-T mart, goes again after school. He says "You're telling me the fun is over? I'm still waiting for the fun to start". The scene seems to be inserted out of order because it comes before Brad gets fired from Captain Hook Fish and Chips.
Additional Footage, Abortion Scene. We actually see Stacy in the operating room having a discussion with the doctor. NOTE: This scene is not shown on TV a lot--the network makes the decision on it.
Additional Footage, Phone Call: Spicoli and Eric Stoltz have a phone call in which they discuss their plans to go to Mexico and surf as soon as school is out.
Addititional Footage, Dance Scene: Mr. Hand signs yearbooks and says "Aloha" to everyone. Eric Stotlz tells Spicoli it's a good thing it's a good thing they're going to Mexico, because when his parents read his yearbook, he's going to get kicked out of the house.
Additional Footage, Perry's Pizza: After Rat talks to Stacy, Damone appears and tells him that he got Stacy's number because he now has "The Attitude". Ratner says no, it was because he is sensitive and Damone needs to learn to be more sensitive himself. Putting his arm around Damone's shoulder, he says "it's a wave, Damone, it's a vibe. I put it out and I have personally found that girls do respond."
Dec 8, 10 12:36 pm ·
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Discrepencies with Fast Times at Ridgemont High screenplay and actual movie
I was busy earlier today looking for specific dialog from Fast Times at Ridgemont High to ensure that i didn't lose a bet with a coworker. I've seen the movie hundreds of times. Thousands of times possibly.
So imagine my shock in discovering the following part of the screenplay is woefully inconsistent with the scene including Charles Jefferson's little brother and Jeff Spicoli driving Charles Jefferson's car and crashing it into a construction site after the little brother speaks great lines like "you Spicoli! You see the new Playboy!"
Was anyone aware of this? I'm interested in reading the entire thing to see just how many other parts of the movie are not as they were intended. I'm not saying that's a bad thing; I'm basically saying that it's difficult to stomach the fact that such a classic movie (Criterion Collection inclusion pending) could have been different, and potentially better or worse based on liberties taken by someone involved in the production.
Here's that scene:
EXT./INT. THE BLUE MUSTANG - NIGHT
Jeff Spicoli is behind the wheel. Sitting next to
him is Little Charles, "L.C.", Jefferson's younger
brother. They're smoking grass and holding
Lowenbrau beers in between their legs. The radio is
blasting the music of Rick James.
L.C.
Hey, slow down. This is my
brother's car.
SPICOLI
I thought he was out of town.
L.C.
He is.
SPICOLI
Then don't hassle it.
They speed off down Ridgemont.
L.C.
Seen the new Playboy?
SPICOLI
Naw. Any good?
L.C.
Suzanne Somers' tits.
SPICOLI
All right.
L.C.
I like sex.
Spicoli sees something in the rearview mirror.
SPICOLI
Hold your beer down, L.C., I think
it's a cop.
Spicoli slows down. The car behind him slows down.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
This is a cop. He's definitely
cruising me at busting distance.
The high beams switch on behind Spicoli.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
The car behind Spicoli then advances to the point
where it is now almost touching the blue Mustang.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
L.C.
This ain't no cop.
The mystery car bumps them lightly from behind.
L.C. (CONT'D)
Hey! He's gonna scratch my
brother's car!
The two boys start yelling. High beams fill the
Mustang with bright light and...
EXT./INT. MUSTANG AND GRANADA
Then mystery car pulls back, then up alongside
Spicoli and L.C. on the left. We hear the music on
the radio of George Thoroughgood's "Ride On,
Josephine".
SPICOLI
It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!
L.C.
They're fuckin' with us.
The drivers of the two cars eye each others. Then
the Granada begins inching over, trying to force
Spicoli off the road.
L.C. (CONT'D)
My brother's car!
SPICOLI
All right. Die, Granada Jocks!
Spicoli guns ahead, in a real bullet move, and
easily overtakes the Granada. Spicoli is proud of
himself. He checks himself out in the rearview and
turns to L.C.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
Would you roll your window up,
L.C.? It's messing my hair.
Spicoli pulls way ahead of the Granada, while L.C.
rolls his window up. Spicoli looks over to L.C. and
smiles wickedly.
Now Spicoli wants to show off. He pushes the pedal
to the floor.
L.C.
We just missed the turnoff to the
party.
SPICOLI
You know the thing I love about
Mustangs? The steering wheel.
Spicoli fingers the bubbles in the wheel.
SPICOLI (CONT'D)
With a genuine Mustang steering
wheel, you can negotiate a hairpin
turn with ease, my man.
EXT./INT. MUSTANG
on the word "ease", Spicoli curls his finger into
one of the Mustang steering wheel bubbles and whips
it clockwise. The idea is to turn off onto a side
street and head back to the party. But instead, at
the moment of the hairpin turn, L.C. is attempting
to switch the radio station. Spicoli crooks his
finger farther into the bubble than he expected.
The car swings in a complete circle, a circle that
includes a bright yellow fire hydrant. The hydrant
rips the side of the car open like a can of tuna.
There is a silent moment of terror.
SPICOLI
Are you okay?
There is silence. Outside the smashed car, the
Granada Jocks pass Spicoli and L.C.
GRANADA JOCKS
Fuck youuuuuuuuuu!
Then L.C. stirs and utters his first words.
L.C.
My brother is going to kill us.
He's gonna kill you and then he's
gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us.
SPICOLI
Just be glad you're all right.
L.C.
My brother is gonna shit.
SPICOLI
Make up your mind. Is he gonna
shit, or is he gonna kill us?
L.C.
First he's gonna shit. And then
he's gonna kill us..
SPICOLI
Will you just relax, mon? He's not
gonna kill us. My father is a
television repairman. He's got all
kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.
L.C.
You can't fix this car, Spicoli.
ANGLE ON THE BLUE MUSTANG
waffled and mangled. It is just inches away from
scrap iron.
SPICOLI
I can fix it.
discrepancies? hey, bud, let's party!
I recall an interview with the director, who very much wanted to show Mike Damone's naked body in the same scene where we see Stacy's breasts. She said she felt it was important to show how exposed he was, emotionally and socially, and his nervousness contrasted with Stacy's comfort in her nudity was an important element of the scene to her. Sadly, she couldn't show male genitalia AT ALL and still get the rating she wanted/needed to make it commercially viable. That aspect of gender bias in nudity has barely budged in almost 30 years!
I love Fast Times.
Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Every movie is too long and needs to be cut before the final release and after the "screenplay" is off to the publisher who wants to release the screenplay simultaneously. This is a perfect scene to cut because it adds nothing and is too long and has too much dialogue. When Amy Heckerling becomes a cinema legend like Nancy Meyers the Director's Cut, with this scene and probably 15 others, will be released.
my former boss used to date Judge Reinhold
Something else that always bothers me: there's a TV version of the movie that has never been released on DVD or VHS. It contains alternate scenes as follows. I've only seen this version once and was puzzled by the scene with Brad in the counselors office talking about his future.
TV VERSION ALTERATIONS
Additonal Footage, All-American Burger Scene: After Spicoli and company take off their shirts, Spicoli tells why he has a guitar pick in his pocket: a long story about how he met Mick Jagger and Jagger gave him the pick. Spicoli then gives the pick to Eric Stoltz. After Hamilton tells Spicoli and his friends to put their shirts on, the boss chastises him for throwing away perfectly good fries when he came on duty. Brad's response: "They weren't mine."
Additional Footage, Scene Where Linda and Stacy Leave the Mall: a girl interrupts Stacy and Linda. She tells Linda a friend said she could ask Linda a question about sex and Linda would know the answer. The girl asks about birth control and Linda tells her how to go to the free clinic and get the "mini-pill" and "don't let them talk you into getting a diaphram".
Additional Footage, Class Registration Scene: Staci comes up to Brad and asks him where Lisa is. Brad complains that everbody asks him where Lisa is and how should he know? Stacy says that she has Mr. Hand for U.S. History. Brad and his friends all go "ooooh, Aloha!" together and tell Stacy she'll be fine as long as she likes "Hawaii 5-0". Stacy leaves and Brad's friend, played by Nicolas Cage, tells him that Stacy is becoming a fox. Brad's response: "really"?
New Scene: Brad and his friends go to lunch and ponder the fate of a burger worker who has been forced to go to work at Mi-T Mart.
New Scene: In the school bathroom, Spicoli tells his friends how he handled Mr. Hand. He exaggerates, telling how he ripped up Mr. Hand's notes after Hand ripped up his card. Spicoli then demands a dollar from Eric Stotlz, who gladly hands it over.
Additional Footage, Lunch Room Scene: The cute couple Brad glimpsed on the way into the parking lot come up and say hi to Linda, Linda introduces them to Stacy.
Additional Footage, Ron Johnson and Stacy Sex Scene: Ron takes off his jacket, Stacy is very uncomfortable, but forces herself into having sex with Ron.
New Scene: Stacy and Linda Walk Through the Mall Parking Structure. Stacy tells Linda that Ron called the house and her mother told him she was still in high school. Ron hasn't called since. Stacy decides if he calls again, she'll change her lie and say she's still in high school but she's eighteen.
Additonal Footage, Arcade Scene: Spicoli tells his friends how Pac-man is just like life: "decimate or get decimated". Rat and Damone discuss how the freshmen at school are all into drugs.
Altered Scene: Brad wipes the words "eat it" off mirror rather than "eat big, hairy pussy".
New scene: After being fired, Brad goes home and, in a rage, rips a burger poster off his wall.
Altered Scene: Brad doesn't masturbate when he looks out the window at Linda, in his fantasy Linda doesn't take her top off.
New Scene: Brad meets with the school counselor. Brad has been putting off college applications, tells him he has to be an adult how, has to "buckle down", "put aside all the fun", Brad complains that he's had a horrible year, his girlfriend broke up with him, he got fired from All-American Burger and two other places, he gets up at five to go to work at Mi-T mart, goes again after school. He says "You're telling me the fun is over? I'm still waiting for the fun to start". The scene seems to be inserted out of order because it comes before Brad gets fired from Captain Hook Fish and Chips.
Additional Footage, Abortion Scene. We actually see Stacy in the operating room having a discussion with the doctor. NOTE: This scene is not shown on TV a lot--the network makes the decision on it.
Additional Footage, Phone Call: Spicoli and Eric Stoltz have a phone call in which they discuss their plans to go to Mexico and surf as soon as school is out.
Addititional Footage, Dance Scene: Mr. Hand signs yearbooks and says "Aloha" to everyone. Eric Stotlz tells Spicoli it's a good thing it's a good thing they're going to Mexico, because when his parents read his yearbook, he's going to get kicked out of the house.
Additional Footage, Perry's Pizza: After Rat talks to Stacy, Damone appears and tells him that he got Stacy's number because he now has "The Attitude". Ratner says no, it was because he is sensitive and Damone needs to learn to be more sensitive himself. Putting his arm around Damone's shoulder, he says "it's a wave, Damone, it's a vibe. I put it out and I have personally found that girls do respond."
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