I know this is an architecture forum and everything and I'm supposed to write about architecture stuff, but can I just vent for a second? Please? Because I've never been so damn down, man. I can't sleep or anything. Why? Because she left me. Just yesterday, not even a damn note. She even took all of the damned coat hangers.
I knew it was coming. I could see it from a friggin' mile away. For one thing, I knew she was mad about me staying late at work. But I told her numerous times that it's because I'm the new guy. I told her that's what the new guy has to do for awhile, stay late and buy coffee for everyone and crap like that. I said, “Honey, I just have to do this stuff for little while and then I'll move up the ladder and then we can maybe get that house and kids you want.” I thought that's what she wanted, the damn domestic life. She'd always buy those little ceramic bears and old lady pillows and other crappy domestic stuff from RITE-AID. Our apartment was filled with that decorative junk. Well, she took it all with her and now I even miss that crap. Dammit!
I knew this was coming. One day I went home for lunch, which I never do, just to surprise her. What do you think she was doing when I walked in the door? Looking at some porn on the computer! Now, I know that's natural and everything, but what bothered me was the kind of porn she was looking at. It was these huge muscular looking body-builder type guys doing it with these tiny little waif-looking women.
Now, I'll admit, I'm not too muscular or anything. In fact, I'm kind of a skinny, bleached-out looking guy and I'm not so hot in the sack, frankly. But what does she want? Some bronco dick hulk guy ramming her in the rear? Jesus.
I think she's having an affair, too. I've suspected it for awhile. I know which bastard it is, even. It's that jogger jerk who runs by our apartment every morning. Or it's that guy who works over at the hardware store who told us he used to be a Quaker. The other Quakers must have kicked that guy out of the community because of his crap morals. Because I'll bet he's having a damn affair with my girlfriend! Ex-girlfriend? Dammit! It even hurts to write that!
If you're reading this, please, just COME BACK. I'll be home earlier. I PROMISE. I'll go to the damn gym and lift weights and drink that Power Fuel crap. I'll be your Quaker. I'll cook you Quaker damn Oats every morning, if that's what it takes. I just need you back. Please. COME BACK NOW.
Your first mistake was to confront him in the fixings isle; you should have taken him on in the power tools section, where the last vestiges of Quakerism lurking in his subconscious would have recoiled from the idea of furniture not made completely by hand, thereby lowering his guard.
Your second mistake was to use the word 'screw' in this context. It just reinforces the fact that he is and you aint.
AP
Oct 3, 05 11:52 am
zing zing zing
3dGraffiti
Oct 3, 05 1:51 pm
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
and/or
Oct 3, 05 2:17 pm
wether this whole post is for real or not:
go to handsome boy modeling school.
their $60 course is by far the best $60 you'll ever spend.
believe me, you won't be sorry for long.
surface
Oct 3, 05 3:37 pm
This has to be a joke, but if not, it is 100% creepy.
sameolddoctor
Oct 3, 05 5:03 pm
you need to check out the videos on this site and see if you can find her
pinstripeprincess
Oct 3, 05 5:14 pm
creepy? or pathetic? you choose.
Erin Williams
Oct 3, 05 5:14 pm
yup, definitely Mavis. So I take it you found a new job, if you've been staying late. But I told you last time - DON'T be the guy that brings coffee and such, or it'll end up just like your last one.
vado retro
Oct 3, 05 6:35 pm
you're gonna wake up one mornin as the sun greets the dawn
youre gonna look around in your mind girl and find that im gone
you dint realize
you dint realize
youre gonna miss me
youre gonna miss me baby...
now go watch high fidelity. particularly the violent fantasy scene. so hilarious.
3dGraffiti
Oct 3, 05 7:28 pm
Oct 3, 05 7:29 pm
Is that Doggy Innuendo and the Euphrates Cats?
sameolddoctor
Oct 3, 05 7:35 pm
the distillers..right?
vado retro
Oct 3, 05 10:49 pm
roky erickson and the 13th floor elevators
Suture
Oct 3, 05 11:02 pm
She really did she take everything from you---coat hangers and both your balls!
Get a grip and pull yourself up! Keep casting and another fish will come by.
sameolddoctor
Oct 3, 05 11:33 pm
a quaker fish, right?
grumble
Oct 4, 05 12:29 pm
oh man dis is so hilarious. Suture's rite. take it.
Manteno_Montenegro
Oct 4, 05 12:47 pm
[h1]much cooler living room[/h1]
Manteno_Montenegro
Oct 4, 05 12:57 pm
sameolddoctor
Oct 11, 05 9:53 pm
bump
so did she come back???
e909
Jan 15, 06 2:31 am
yeah
13th Floor Elevators
haven't heard that for a long time. :-)
for the other thread.
le bossman
Jan 15, 06 10:21 am
look, you need to go out with your friends and drink some beers. do anything to keep your mind off it. this girl apparently doesn't respect you for what you do, and in that case she's no good for you. if you take her back, she still won't respect you, and if she was cheating on you, she'll continue to do so. once a cheater, always a cheater. what i would say to you is that this is probably for your own good in the long run and that you should move on. get a new place, and avoid anyplace she goes. you might love this girl, but fuck her. she's not worth it.
snooker
Jan 15, 06 10:38 am
Spilt Milk, Dude! Save your money, learn Portugese go to Brazil and
find yourself a killer model and you will forget all about the Ex-Quaker Oil guy. Come to think of it....do you think he coats himself in oil? Bet the little porn lady hopes he is reading this post.
Nevermore
Jan 16, 06 5:16 am
Colm
Jan 16, 06 12:32 pm
Nevermore... there's nothingmore than finding the next best thing (not to be confused with second best). Like drinking beer: you'll always forget the last pint, but NEVER the one in front of you.
e909
Jan 18, 06 2:49 am
get onto the freeway at 2 AM But keep your eye on the mirror.
just wondering where i had seen collartim before....
AP
Apr 17, 06 9:05 am
ya, this was a fun one...
remonio
Apr 17, 06 10:43 am
I saw this on Jerry Springer the other day.
David Cuthbert
Apr 19, 06 12:08 am
Its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Shakespeare had a difficulty keeping the women he loved, and we been arguing for decades if he was actually on the st/nuff.
I don't have advice for you- I'm in that grey area recently questions on fidelity based on off coloured conversations with women who have some affection/attraction towards me. I wish you luck...don't become a Quaker after you've given up your iPod and laptop, you'd gotten over your girlfriend and wonder what happened to all your stuff.
collartim
Aug 17, 07 11:27 pm
She just now came back.
Ms Beary
Aug 17, 07 11:43 pm
you gonna join the gym now?
waterhouse
Aug 18, 07 12:12 am
And you waited?
xtbl
Aug 18, 07 12:46 am
is this for real?
cadalyst
Aug 18, 07 10:00 am
stick it in the butt, then kick her to the curb. she takes away from your drafting table love anyway...
clamfan
Aug 18, 07 10:59 am
A wise man once said, " Bitches aint shit but ho's in check". Guess which ones the bitch.
Apurimac
Aug 18, 07 11:04 pm
I thought it was "Bitches ain't Shit but ho's and tricks"
joshua
Aug 28, 07 3:43 am
haha ..pour hot ramen on me..i
rfuller
Aug 28, 07 12:27 pm
Apurimac, you're right. Sorry clamfan.
le bossman
Aug 28, 07 2:11 pm
collartim, i don't know if it's just your writing style, but do you by any chance have a website called www.realultimatepower.net?
collartim
Aug 10, 09 1:21 am
And now she's gone again. Dammit.
randomized
Aug 10, 09 5:03 am
the dammit at the end says it all.
induct
Aug 10, 09 8:03 am
We Quakers are a strong lot, and we steal girlfriends without remorse.
citizen
Jul 3, 21 4:46 pm
It must be the oats. And if the girlfriends have no remorse, why steal them?
I know this is an architecture forum and everything and I'm supposed to write about architecture stuff, but can I just vent for a second? Please? Because I've never been so damn down, man. I can't sleep or anything. Why? Because she left me. Just yesterday, not even a damn note. She even took all of the damned coat hangers.
I knew it was coming. I could see it from a friggin' mile away. For one thing, I knew she was mad about me staying late at work. But I told her numerous times that it's because I'm the new guy. I told her that's what the new guy has to do for awhile, stay late and buy coffee for everyone and crap like that. I said, “Honey, I just have to do this stuff for little while and then I'll move up the ladder and then we can maybe get that house and kids you want.” I thought that's what she wanted, the damn domestic life. She'd always buy those little ceramic bears and old lady pillows and other crappy domestic stuff from RITE-AID. Our apartment was filled with that decorative junk. Well, she took it all with her and now I even miss that crap. Dammit!
I knew this was coming. One day I went home for lunch, which I never do, just to surprise her. What do you think she was doing when I walked in the door? Looking at some porn on the computer! Now, I know that's natural and everything, but what bothered me was the kind of porn she was looking at. It was these huge muscular looking body-builder type guys doing it with these tiny little waif-looking women.
Now, I'll admit, I'm not too muscular or anything. In fact, I'm kind of a skinny, bleached-out looking guy and I'm not so hot in the sack, frankly. But what does she want? Some bronco dick hulk guy ramming her in the rear? Jesus.
I think she's having an affair, too. I've suspected it for awhile. I know which bastard it is, even. It's that jogger jerk who runs by our apartment every morning. Or it's that guy who works over at the hardware store who told us he used to be a Quaker. The other Quakers must have kicked that guy out of the community because of his crap morals. Because I'll bet he's having a damn affair with my girlfriend! Ex-girlfriend? Dammit! It even hurts to write that!
If you're reading this, please, just COME BACK. I'll be home earlier. I PROMISE. I'll go to the damn gym and lift weights and drink that Power Fuel crap. I'll be your Quaker. I'll cook you Quaker damn Oats every morning, if that's what it takes. I just need you back. Please. COME BACK NOW.
ew
Your first mistake was to confront him in the fixings isle; you should have taken him on in the power tools section, where the last vestiges of Quakerism lurking in his subconscious would have recoiled from the idea of furniture not made completely by hand, thereby lowering his guard.
Your second mistake was to use the word 'screw' in this context. It just reinforces the fact that he is and you aint.
zing zing zing
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
wether this whole post is for real or not:
go to handsome boy modeling school.
their $60 course is by far the best $60 you'll ever spend.
believe me, you won't be sorry for long.
This has to be a joke, but if not, it is 100% creepy.
you need to check out the videos on this site and see if you can find her
creepy? or pathetic? you choose.
yup, definitely Mavis. So I take it you found a new job, if you've been staying late. But I told you last time - DON'T be the guy that brings coffee and such, or it'll end up just like your last one.
you're gonna wake up one mornin as the sun greets the dawn
youre gonna look around in your mind girl and find that im gone
you dint realize
you dint realize
youre gonna miss me
youre gonna miss me baby...
now go watch high fidelity. particularly the violent fantasy scene. so hilarious.
Is that Doggy Innuendo and the Euphrates Cats?
the distillers..right?
roky erickson and the 13th floor elevators
She really did she take everything from you---coat hangers and both your balls!
Get a grip and pull yourself up! Keep casting and another fish will come by.
a quaker fish, right?
oh man dis is so hilarious. Suture's rite. take it.
[h1]much cooler living room[/h1]
![](http://image36.webshots.com/36/4/99/21/309749921OwbMcb_ph.jpg)
bump
so did she come back???
yeah
13th Floor Elevators
haven't heard that for a long time. :-)
for the other thread.
look, you need to go out with your friends and drink some beers. do anything to keep your mind off it. this girl apparently doesn't respect you for what you do, and in that case she's no good for you. if you take her back, she still won't respect you, and if she was cheating on you, she'll continue to do so. once a cheater, always a cheater. what i would say to you is that this is probably for your own good in the long run and that you should move on. get a new place, and avoid anyplace she goes. you might love this girl, but fuck her. she's not worth it.
Spilt Milk, Dude! Save your money, learn Portugese go to Brazil and
find yourself a killer model and you will forget all about the Ex-Quaker Oil guy. Come to think of it....do you think he coats himself in oil? Bet the little porn lady hopes he is reading this post.
Nevermore... there's nothingmore than finding the next best thing (not to be confused with second best). Like drinking beer: you'll always forget the last pint, but NEVER the one in front of you.
get onto the freeway at 2 AM But keep your eye on the mirror.
one for vado http://www.google.com/search?q=%22working+so+hard%22+%22keep+you+in+the+luxury%22+Texans
just wondering where i had seen collartim before....
ya, this was a fun one...
I saw this on Jerry Springer the other day.
Its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Shakespeare had a difficulty keeping the women he loved, and we been arguing for decades if he was actually on the st/nuff.
I don't have advice for you- I'm in that grey area recently questions on fidelity based on off coloured conversations with women who have some affection/attraction towards me. I wish you luck...don't become a Quaker after you've given up your iPod and laptop, you'd gotten over your girlfriend and wonder what happened to all your stuff.
She just now came back.
you gonna join the gym now?
And you waited?
is this for real?
stick it in the butt, then kick her to the curb. she takes away from your drafting table love anyway...
A wise man once said, " Bitches aint shit but ho's in check". Guess which ones the bitch.
I thought it was "Bitches ain't Shit but ho's and tricks"
haha ..pour hot ramen on me..i
Apurimac, you're right. Sorry clamfan.
collartim, i don't know if it's just your writing style, but do you by any chance have a website called www.realultimatepower.net?
And now she's gone again. Dammit.
the dammit at the end says it all.
We Quakers are a strong lot, and we steal girlfriends without remorse.
It must be the oats. And if the girlfriends have no remorse, why steal them?
So you put on your robe and wizard hat?
Definitely an underrated thread.
and it gets fun spam now
Hi everyone - I spend all day and night at the office working on my masterpieces. Why did she leave me? Is architecture my true marriage?