I'm a master student coming from Italy, I've realized this portfolio to apply for an internship in Munich this semester and I would like to get some criticism/advices on it, every comment is more than accepted!
I enjoyed reading your portfolio, it has a nice flow to it. Though I did noticed a great number of grammatical errors just from a quick read.
alessandrovisentin
Feb 1, 20 6:15 am
Thank you very much! I will fix them.
White_Snowman
Jan 31, 20 12:48 am
Like chuckluck said, there are some grammatical errors in this, but it is a very nice portfolio. I especially like the muted colors with little accents here and there.
Here's a quick edit of the first page's write up. Italics means I would remove something and parentheses means I would change something. I can do more of these if you'd like, but overall I'd say go through the wording with a fine tooth comb and when in doubt, its probably best to just delete it.
The project area is located on one of the most important cityaxes (streets) of Mexico City(;) a virtual axis that cuts the city from east to west, the Rio San Joaquin Avenue.
The project area is located in the Polanco district. A neighborhood that finds its origins in the birth of a railway line used mainly for the transport of industrial goods, the Ferrocarril de Cuenavaca. Following its construction, the first industrial activities developed around it(remove comma) which (made) the Polanco district an important industrial area on the edge of the city. The closing of the old railway and the rapid evolution of the city (remove comma) led the industrial district to be incorporated into the new city (remove comma) forcing the industries present there to emigrate (move).
Today on (in) the South, the project area finds a whole new part of social and residential expansion. (It is) an area full of (activity) of all kinds, a place where old industrial lots are (being) replaced by large buildings, by modern skyscrapers and (by) towers that are (all) defining the (new) city skyline.
alessandrovisentin
Feb 1, 20 6:15 am
Thanks for the review of the text! I will fix it.
newbie.Phronesis
Feb 1, 20 7:31 pm
It looks nice, and your sketches/drawings are superb, especially the last page. Maybe too much white space, but that's maybe just my own preference
Outsideofspace
Feb 4, 20 11:07 am
Pages 4-7 are a bit weak compared to the rest of your content. It takes too long for a reader to get to an image which really conveys your understanding of space and your technical skills.
The tiny text used on the legends of your plans also might be impossible to read.
Ikoz
Feb 6, 20 2:07 am
I personally felt you nailed the white space! Having said that, maybe the space gives you an opportunity to make those legends a little bigger. As already mentioned there are grammatical errors but if you have a native speaker or someone who speaks English fluently look over it they can point out the mistakes quick-smart.
Hello everybody!
I'm a master student coming from Italy, I've realized this portfolio to apply for an internship in Munich this semester and I would like to get some criticism/advices on it, every comment is more than accepted!
https://issuu.com/a.visentin/docs/portofolio_online
Thank you very much!
I enjoyed reading your portfolio, it has a nice flow to it. Though I did noticed a great number of grammatical errors just from a quick read.
Thank you very much! I will fix them.
Like chuckluck said, there are some grammatical errors in this, but it is a very nice portfolio. I especially like the muted colors with little accents here and there.
Here's a quick edit of the first page's write up. Italics means I would remove something and parentheses means I would change something. I can do more of these if you'd like, but overall I'd say go through the wording with a fine tooth comb and when in doubt, its probably best to just delete it.
The project area is located on one of the most important city axes (streets) of Mexico City(;) a virtual axis that cuts the city from east to west, the Rio San Joaquin Avenue.
The project area is located in the Polanco district. A neighborhood that finds its origins in the birth of a railway line used mainly for the transport of industrial goods, the Ferrocarril de Cuenavaca. Following its construction, the first industrial activities developed around it(remove comma) which (made) the Polanco district an important industrial area on the edge of the city. The closing of the old railway and the rapid evolution of the city (remove comma) led the industrial district to be incorporated into the new city (remove comma) forcing the industries present there to emigrate (move).
Today on (in) the South, the project area finds a whole new part of social and residential expansion. (It is) an area full of (activity) of all kinds, a place where old industrial lots are (being) replaced by large buildings, by modern skyscrapers and (by) towers that are (all) defining the (new) city skyline.
Thanks for the review of the text! I will fix it.
It looks nice, and your sketches/drawings are superb, especially the last page. Maybe too much white space, but that's maybe just my own preference
Pages 4-7 are a bit weak compared to the rest of your content. It takes too long for a reader to get to an image which really conveys your understanding of space and your technical skills.
The tiny text used on the legends of your plans also might be impossible to read.
I personally felt you nailed the white space! Having said that, maybe the space gives you an opportunity to make those legends a little bigger. As already mentioned there are grammatical errors but if you have a native speaker or someone who speaks English fluently look over it they can point out the mistakes quick-smart.
I'm also looking for folio feedback if you have the time- https://archinect.com/forum/thread/150180870/m-arch-portfolio-review.