I cannot sleep tonight, and all I'm thinking is why do we feel guilty about getting a good opportunity when people around us are not doing "so great"?

For the last two months, I have had family members and people very close to me in critical condition in the hospital. These people include the ones that gave me my first job and my very first place to live right after I got married.

Today, I have to give them the news that I have to go. I have decided to move on. It feels very exciting, when I let my intuition guide me, this one says YES YES YES. Even my light work cards threw the YES card. I know this is a step towards the right direction. It feels like I'm walking towards a more liberating life. Yet, I can't sleep, all because I'm trying to choose the right words to say that I'm leaving. This feels almost like I'm breaking up a marriage or abandoning a family, but this is not a marriage, nor is my family. This is the one and only job that has given me all the knowledge and experience I have today.

This job gave me confidence, a thick skin, tolerance, gratitude, and strength. I am definitely not the same woman I was in college. In fact, I wish I had known how things outside of school would be so my experience there could had been different. I have come to the conclusion that feeling guilty for your own success is not going to help you move forward.

Yes, the last year made us stop, slow down, and notice how we were doing everything, like programmed robots without a meaningful purpose. Life last year made us realize that we don't have a long guaranteed life. But we have a full 24 hours each day to decide how we want to design our life. It made us realize that we can have everything we deserve, therefore, my goodbye words will be like this:

I have been presented with an opportunity to work on something different, and after careful consideration I will accept this new adventure. I am very grateful for all these years, and know that I didn't make this decision lightly.

That last part couldn't be more true. I have been working to reach a "neutral state of mind". I have finally achieved the detachment from the dilemma, my own feelings, and I analyzed these options from this new perspective. Without feeling any attachment to any outcome, I have let my intuition guide me to what I deserve. 

Point is, you have to take risks and get out of your comfort zone if you want to see change. 

I'm comfortable in this apartment, with a job that is flexible enough for me to take 1-2 week vacations on short notice, I make my own schedule, I manage my own work and I literally get to decide which project has priority day to day to work. BUT, am I really growing? NO

I'm not growing, I'm not making a living, I cannot even move out of the free apartment and you would think I should have enough $$ saved already. Well, the truth is not. I have created this reality and I fully take responsibility for it. Am I grateful for it? ABSOLUTELY! But I'm also mad and furious. 

I will not blame anybody for the amount of responsibility I decided to take without making sure I'd be properly compensated for it. I am not a victim of this situation, but today, I decide to stop feeling guilty, and I stop being comfortable.

Today, I will always remember. Today is the day I'm closing a cycle with love and gratitude. To whoever gets to read this;

This is your guide to leave guilt free:

1. Never underestimate the big or small knowledge you have. 

2. Your confidence will grow, and you will learn from your "mistakes", so don't be scared to make them. (just don't make the same mistake twice)

3. You are NEVER a victim! This role will literally take you NOWHERE

4. Receive with open arms what the Universe, God, the force, whatever you believe in, is sending you.

5. The test to know if something is a good idea is to pay attention to your feelings when you think about it. Is it exciting? Or is it scary?

6. Lastly, let go of everything. Don't be attached to certain things with the idea that something better will not come.

You can create your reality with your thoughts. So how do you want that reality to be like?