I had been on the job hunt for a little while and when Firm A reached out to interview, I accepted. All went well, and they immediately made me an Offer. After spending a weekend on it, I excitedly accepted. It seemed like the right step up for me.
Three days later, however, Firm B - a much bigger and renowned firm reached out for an interview, which I took out of curiosity and to not ghost them. I made the mistake of not informing them that I had accepted an offer. They then proceeded to make me an offer the same day. This offer is overall much better, pays more, and since I am also looking for work sponsorship (I am an international student), much much secure since it's a firm with more resources and would be a better career move.
My first day at Firm A is next week and I would hate to be someone who backtracks on their word, but I feel like if I don't take this opportunity at Firm B, I will regret it. I fear that I will burn all bridges with Firm A if I accept Firm B's offer at this last moment and leave them in a bad position as well, and of course, I am afraid of any possible repercussions.
It seems like going with Firm B is the obvious decision and choice but I am just hesitant to do it since I already told Firm A Yes.
Appreciate the recommendations!
Non Sequitur
Aug 16, 22 8:11 pm
Speaking from someone who's felt the sting of having new/returning staff suddenly decide not to come back when we've ear-marked work for them... I'd say it's a dick move but I would not blame you for making the choice. It depends on how small your market. My friends and I certainly circulate tarnished names amongst ourselves to warn of potential sketchy candidates, but we're a small and tight market.
Good luck in firm B. No need to worry too much.
muspafe
Aug 16, 22 9:17 pm
Thanks! I really appreciate that! I completely understand what you mean by that, and I would of course hate to cause any trouble for anyone. I have just been afraid of any possible repercussions as you mentioned since I am just at the beginning of my career.
square.
Aug 17, 22 9:40 am
not a dick move- this is a business decision, do what's right for you (the company always operates under these rules). certainly sucks for the employer, but they will suck it up and find someone else.
maybe if they offered better pay they wouldn't be in this position...
Non Sequitur
Aug 17, 22 10:13 am
square, I get what you're saying and it's not a dick move if this was a "you're hired, you start next week" deal but in our case, we've held job spots for people for weeks/months while they finish school or mat leave or whatever so when they decide to move on, that's quite the sting.
square.
Aug 17, 22 10:51 am
yeah that's different, and definitely unprofessional behavior. there's an easy way to communicate that things have changed without waiting until the last second.
Everyday Architect
Aug 16, 22 8:23 pm
While not that common, turning down an offer you accepted because something better comes along does happen. I wouldn't feel too bad about it. You're better off doing it now rather than waiting though. The sooner you do it the sooner Firm A can continue their search, or reach out to Candidate B who was their backup if you didn't accept. The longer you wait, the harder that is for them and if you start the onboarding process to then leave for another firm that's a fair amount of effort and paperwork that Firm A just did for nothing.
If you really wanted to work at Firm A or didn't really have a preference, you could always attempt to use the offer from Firm B to get a little more from Firm A. That seems a little bit more of a sketchy move than just letting them know you received and accepted a better offer, but YMMV.
Good luck.
muspafe
Aug 16, 22 9:23 pm
Thank you! This is really helpful and I really needed to hear this. I agree that I should let them know as soon as possible and to be upfront about it. I already regret that this situation has occurred so close to my start date. I was ok with settling for A since not much else was coming my way until Firm B, which
will most likely (hopefully) be a better long-term decision too.
Bench
Aug 16, 22 8:58 pm
Firm A will likely be peeved in the moment, but it doesn't seem that unreasonable. Especially if you present the angle to them about the implications for future sponsorship, which is deeply personal and not at all something to take lightly, they should hopefully understand, and likely forget about it after a short while.
That being said, I probably wouldn't expect to apply to them again in the future.
citizen
Aug 16, 22 9:11 pm
I agree that accepting B's offer and then swiftly, apologetically backing out of A's is not ideal, but understandable to most people given the circumstances. And yes, this (hopefully better) situation still has potential costs for you, like reputational gossip and possible rejection elsewhere in the future. But life is complicated.
citizen
Aug 16, 22 9:13 pm
Also-- if anyone in Firm A reads the forum here on Archinect, you may not need to let them know later.
muspafe
Aug 16, 22 9:25 pm
Definitely, that is something I was somewhat afraid of. I am in a large city but I have always heard that architecture is a really small community and I would hate to carry this label with me so early on in my professional career. B just happens to be a better situation and hopefully a better long-term
decision.
Koww
Aug 16, 22 11:22 pm
go with firm B, but like and subscribe firm A on their social media.
muspafe
Aug 17, 22 10:31 am
Thanks for the heads up everyone - Is there any way to edit the name in my previous comments to my username? Sorry, new to posting and commenting.
Everyday Architect
Aug 17, 22 11:46 am
Not sure about changing previous comments to your username, might have to email the tech support team at archinect (https://archinect.com/contact_us) to see about that. In the meantime, you can change your first and last name on your user profile in your settings. That will likely change how your name appears above to at least disguise it until you hear back from archinect.
sameolddoctor
Aug 17, 22 11:21 am
We recently hired someone (after waiting on them for a month) - they started and we trained them up (fancy grad school = no real skills), and they decided to move on in just 2 weeks, citing "family reasons". And we pay pretty well.
Their name will definitely be circulated within our circle, as someone to watch out for in terms of being irresponsible.
reallynotmyname
Aug 17, 22 11:53 am
I worked with a Harvard child who flaked out in a similar way. It's like they went all the way through school with no idea of what practicing architects do all day, and it made working in an office really disappointing and disturbing to them.
natematt
Aug 17, 22 12:23 pm
I'm curious how you would feel for example if they gave you a more understandable and clear reason, like getting an offer for a lot more money. (probably not the case since you just hired them and said you pay well, but just curious)
thisisnotmyname
Aug 17, 22 1:08 pm
Yeah, I would expect an upstanding person to be a little more specific than mumbling "family reasons" on their way out after your firm has invested in them and turned away other applicants. On the plus side, it's good that this person is gone. Their character/communication issues would have caused you even more problems in the long run.
sameolddoctor
Aug 17, 22 2:42 pm
Nate, yes, we would have appreciated a more direct and honest answer, and would have tried to match the offer.
thisisnotmyname, yes - and when someone says "family reasons" when they are fresh grads and do not even have family in the country, it is a super dick move, and just makes us think they got an offer from a big name firm.
Wood Guy
Aug 17, 22 2:52 pm
"Harvard child." LOL
justavisual
Aug 17, 22 3:11 pm
I've seen this done by a Yale grad...ghosted after day 3. I think he got an acting gig?
Hi all,
I had been on the job hunt for a little while and when Firm A reached out to interview, I accepted. All went well, and they immediately made me an Offer. After spending a weekend on it, I excitedly accepted. It seemed like the right step up for me.
Three days later, however, Firm B - a much bigger and renowned firm reached out for an interview, which I took out of curiosity and to not ghost them. I made the mistake of not informing them that I had accepted an offer. They then proceeded to make me an offer the same day. This offer is overall much better, pays more, and since I am also looking for work sponsorship (I am an international student), much much secure since it's a firm with more resources and would be a better career move.
My first day at Firm A is next week and I would hate to be someone who backtracks on their word, but I feel like if I don't take this opportunity at Firm B, I will regret it. I fear that I will burn all bridges with Firm A if I accept Firm B's offer at this last moment and leave them in a bad position as well, and of course, I am afraid of any possible repercussions.
It seems like going with Firm B is the obvious decision and choice but I am just hesitant to do it since I already told Firm A Yes.
Appreciate the recommendations!
Speaking from someone who's felt the sting of having new/returning staff suddenly decide not to come back when we've ear-marked work for them... I'd say it's a dick move but I would not blame you for making the choice. It depends on how small your market. My friends and I certainly circulate tarnished names amongst ourselves to warn of potential sketchy candidates, but we're a small and tight market.
Good luck in firm B. No need to worry too much.
Thanks! I really appreciate that! I completely understand what you mean by that, and I would of course hate to cause any trouble for anyone. I have just been afraid of any possible repercussions as you mentioned since I am just at the beginning of my career.
not a dick move- this is a business decision, do what's right for you (the company always operates under these rules). certainly sucks for the employer, but they will suck it up and find someone else.
maybe if they offered better pay they wouldn't be in this position...
square, I get what you're saying and it's not a dick move if this was a "you're hired, you start next week" deal but in our case, we've held job spots for people for weeks/months while they finish school or mat leave or whatever so when they decide to move on, that's quite the sting.
yeah that's different, and definitely unprofessional behavior. there's an easy way to communicate that things have changed without waiting until the last second.
While not that common, turning down an offer you accepted because something better comes along does happen. I wouldn't feel too bad about it. You're better off doing it now rather than waiting though. The sooner you do it the sooner Firm A can continue their search, or reach out to Candidate B who was their backup if you didn't accept. The longer you wait, the harder that is for them and if you start the onboarding process to then leave for another firm that's a fair amount of effort and paperwork that Firm A just did for nothing.
If you really wanted to work at Firm A or didn't really have a preference, you could always attempt to use the offer from Firm B to get a little more from Firm A. That seems a little bit more of a sketchy move than just letting them know you received and accepted a better offer, but YMMV.
Good luck.
Thank you! This is really helpful and I really needed to hear this. I agree that I should let them know as soon as possible and to be upfront about it. I already regret that this situation has occurred so close to my start date. I was ok with settling for A since not much else was coming my way until Firm B, which will most likely (hopefully) be a better long-term decision too.
Firm A will likely be peeved in the moment, but it doesn't seem that unreasonable. Especially if you present the angle to them about the implications for future sponsorship, which is deeply personal and not at all something to take lightly, they should hopefully understand, and likely forget about it after a short while.
That being said, I probably wouldn't expect to apply to them again in the future.
I agree that accepting B's offer and then swiftly, apologetically backing out of A's is not ideal, but understandable to most people given the circumstances. And yes, this (hopefully better) situation still has potential costs for you, like reputational gossip and possible rejection elsewhere in the future. But life is complicated.
Also-- if anyone in Firm A reads the forum here on Archinect, you may not need to let them know later.
Definitely, that is something I was somewhat afraid of. I am in a large city but I have always heard that architecture is a really small community and I would hate to carry this label with me so early on in my professional career. B just happens to be a better situation and hopefully a better long-term decision.
go with firm B, but like and subscribe firm A on their social media.
Thanks for the heads up everyone - Is there any way to edit the name in my previous comments to my username? Sorry, new to posting and commenting.
Not sure about changing previous comments to your username, might have to email the tech support team at archinect (https://archinect.com/contact_us) to see about that. In the meantime, you can change your first and last name on your user profile in your settings. That will likely change how your name appears above to at least disguise it until you hear back from archinect.
We recently hired someone (after waiting on them for a month) - they started and we trained them up (fancy grad school = no real skills), and they decided to move on in just 2 weeks, citing "family reasons". And we pay pretty well.
Their name will definitely be circulated within our circle, as someone to watch out for in terms of being irresponsible.
I worked with a Harvard child who flaked out in a similar way. It's like they went all the way through school with no idea of what practicing architects do all day, and it made working in an office really disappointing and disturbing to them.
I'm curious how you would feel for example if they gave you a more understandable and clear reason, like getting an offer for a lot more money. (probably not the case since you just hired them and said you pay well, but just curious)
Yeah, I would expect an upstanding person to be a little more specific than mumbling "family reasons" on their way out after your firm has invested in them and turned away other applicants. On the plus side, it's good that this person is gone. Their character/communication issues would have caused you even more problems in the long run.
Nate, yes, we would have appreciated a more direct and honest answer, and would have tried to match the offer.
thisisnotmyname, yes - and when someone says "family reasons" when they are fresh grads and do not even have family in the country, it is a super dick move, and just makes us think they got an offer from a big name firm.
"Harvard child." LOL
I've seen this done by a Yale grad...ghosted after day 3. I think he got an acting gig?
Just throwing this in here: https://www.prnewswire.com/new...