So, congrats on making it easier for your son to choose architecture. Can’t wait till he starts rebelling against his parents and do exactly what you’d advice against...well done!
Koww
Jul 13, 21 2:08 am
i think being a choreographer would be a good career
Non Sequitur
Jul 13, 21 6:10 am
already answered this earlier. Don’t push your shortcomings onto your children.
Wood Guy
Jul 13, 21 8:59 am
I didn't tell your son anything.
If I did, it wouldn't be, "don't be an architect." My dad, an engineer, did that to me, and I listened. I should have been an architect.
Miles Jaffe
Jul 13, 21 9:28 am
On the results of an aptitude test I took in high school my father wrote 'engineering' with a blue Prismacolor.
Chad Miller
Jul 13, 21 9:57 am
I can just see younger Miles: 'Toss off dad, I'm gonna be an artist!' :)
apkouv
Jul 14, 21 1:46 pm
Miles, your father overestimated you, didn't he?
Almosthip
Jul 13, 21 11:22 am
I'd tell him to "Dont be a dick"
JLC-1
Jul 13, 21 11:35 am
that would be enough
Almosthip
Jul 13, 21 11:37 am
although my step fathers name is Dick and he's a pretty stand up guy :)
JLC-1
Jul 13, 21 2:01 pm
I told my sons to be happy.
RJ87
Jul 13, 21 3:48 pm
Growing up we were always told "You can be anything you want but we'd prefer if you have a professional degree". Their point was that they didn't mind what we studied but they wanted us to have a professional license at the end of the process. I think it was solid council, I'll probably tell my future kids the same one day. We're one member of the family taking their final exams away from everyone being a licensed professional. Spouses included we've got a couple of architects, nurse practitioners, a nurse & a lawyer. Only took 16 degrees to make it happen lol.
whistler
Jul 13, 21 4:48 pm
I didn't tell all three kids not to be an architect, but I didn't encourage it. Two went to business school and one became a fire-fighter / electrician / ski guide ( jack of all trades ). I suppose they could have taken over "the firm" but they just weren't interested in early days, and I didn't feel like had to push it.
hiennguyen
Jul 13, 21 9:16 pm
I started to worry once my son started to ask question like how does people plan a building, how s building standing up, how neighborhoods being organized, etc...
Being a dad, I answered them all. But from deep inside, I wish he would ask questions like how s car work, how s plan fly, etc...
No, i don't have a firm for him to take over.
Non Sequitur
Jul 13, 21 9:33 pm
Not really a model parent there. Who cares if you don't agree with their interests? For all you know, they could easily be a better architect than you. The bar is likely not that high anyways.
sameolddoctor
Jul 13, 21 10:14 pm
Wow NS, way to judge other's parenting techniques without any regard for their background. I think the OP is honest, and as he said, hes answered all the kids questions, but wish he sets his sights higher than architecture. I dont see anything wrong in that, and certainly does not warrant not being called a model parent lol.
Non Sequitur
Jul 13, 21 10:16 pm
^see the OP's first post in the forum.
They have an odd way to say they don't support their kid's interests in their job. T'is all.
Non Sequitur
Jul 13, 21 10:23 pm
But in my not important defense, I thought the OP was a spam bot posting generic comments leading up to a spamshow until this comment. Not 100% convinced that I'm wrong on that last point tho.
sameolddoctor
Jul 13, 21 10:39 pm
I think English may not be their first language
hiennguyen
Jul 14, 21 11:38 am
Non sequitur and sameolddoctor, I told myself not to answer, racist and erogant people are everywhere anyway, architect or not. But I woke up this morning still being bothered. Why English is not my first language matters ? Does people with English as first language has more value in though and opinion ? You could not even read well between "support" and "support career choice", so much of an English speaker yourself...Why you think I am a failing architect ? I don't like my child to be an architect because I don't like to see him working with erogant, self righteous, back stabbing and jealous peoples. I worked with both engineers and architects at various small and corporate firms, i know the differences, hence the original post...
Non Sequitur
Jul 14, 21 11:41 am
It's actually not that bad at all as long as the expectations are reasonable and you're not stuck in a vicious cycle of slaveship offices.
sameolddoctor
Jul 14, 21 1:12 pm
hiennguyen, I did not imply that having, or not having english as a first language was a bad thing. Just trying to tell NS that your post was not "spammy". I, for one totally understand your sentiment, and believe that the profession is stuck up in many different ways, from architectural offices to clients' mentality to the reality on the ground. Hopefully there will be some positive change in the profession but who knows.
Non-ASD Jequitarchitectur
Jul 14, 21 1:58 pm
@hiennguyen, don't mind NonSequitur. He has Aspergers syndrome (no empathy), so he doesn't understand that hurting others is wrong. He is a rather special case we have here at the forum. I personally think you are a great parent for caring about your son's future, regardless of whether he will go into architecture or not!
hiennguyen
Jul 14, 21 4:27 pm
Daer, you don't have to defend anybody. I can tell an ASD person from his writing; in this case is not. In other culture they called it RUDE, English speaking or not. You don't say to a person s face "I don't think you are a spammy".
Non-ASD Jequitarchitectur
Jul 14, 21 4:30 pm
Not defending him at all. Everyone on here knows that he doesn't have people skills.
Non Sequitur
Jul 14, 21 5:02 pm
hienn... I don't know what daer wrote since I have the poor sap on ignore, but I doubt they wrote anything useful and they are likely one of the jealous assholes you referenced above. Important to note that their only goal on this site is to follow my comments and say the same un-imaginative (I assume) jive. I guess they are still jealous that others can have real careers in architecture while they are stuck in a perpetual "catching up" state. Maybe.
BTW, stay on the forums long enough and you'll see why I treated your first few posts as spammy. Common spambot to make 2 to 3 offbeat comments or start weird threads before they carpet bomb other discussions with links.
Non-ASD Jequitarchitectur
Jul 15, 21 12:00 pm
Given your ASD issue, I am relieved you have found an outlet to your agression on these forums, instead of bullying your colleagues or beating your wife. But then again who knows?
randomised
Jul 14, 21 2:35 am
I don’t really care which careers my kids pivot towards when time comes, they seem very interested in janitorial work and garbage trucks.. just hope they will travel and see the world before making up their minds and become the famous artists they are destined to become.
randomised
Jul 14, 21 3:32 pm
My 4yr old even has his own trash picker for when we go to the park and fights his little brother to take control of the vacuum cleaner, and he loves to help
randomised
Jul 14, 21 3:33 pm
fixing bikes or using random tools in random ways around the house.
midlander
Jul 14, 21 7:48 pm
my childhood dream was to drive a garbage truck. my wife's was to be a butcher (seriously...) both fell through and we ended up in architecture.
Volunteer
Jul 14, 21 1:42 pm
My kid wants to become a professional hockey player for the Tampa Bay Lightning.
Wilma Buttfit
Jul 14, 21 2:06 pm
Lots of people told me not to be an architect. They aren't worth listening to. My daughter says she is going to be an architect. I am going to have her start earning experience points soon.
tduds
Jul 14, 21 2:29 pm
I think blanket "do this / don't do this" advice assumes a universality of experience and motivation that ultimately leads to greater dissatisfaction among the population as a whole.
I understand the desire to shield the ones we love from harm, but when it comes at the cost of denying them an experience that could just as easily be deeply rewarding, I think it's worth questioning whether our actions are working against the outcome we say we want.
Everyday Architect
Jul 14, 21 3:17 pm
My daughter said she wanted to be an author-illustrator (well actually "writer who draws pictures") last night. How do I crush her dreams right now in the harshest possible way. She's 4 so I got plenty of time to figure it out, but I don't want to mess around and figure it out through trial and error.
Non Sequitur
Jul 14, 21 3:29 pm
well, it's easy EA.... just buy her knock-off prisma-colour pencils (or knock-off Crayola if you really want to drive the point home). That'll turn away from those ideas and lead her straight into a fulfilling career of... I don't know... aerospace engineering? Mine does not speak or understand the concept of jobs/careers so I'm not there yet. Any advice on how I can strong arm him into a specific direction while quashing his cute little dreams at the same time? Perhaps a pair of beige slacks will help.
randomised
Jul 14, 21 3:37 pm
Hope you’re saving up for her MFA in film studies!
Everyday Architect
Jul 14, 21 3:51 pm
NS, I've seen your backyard set up with the swing and climbing wall. Beige slacks aren't going to help. You might as well push him to be one of those contestants on American Ninja Warrior (does that get exported north of the border?) because you won't be able to overcome it now.
I'm probably already screwed too. She's already well on her way teaching herself to read so I'm behind the 8-ball already. Then last night she was drawing a picture and asked me how to spell "the end" and I (like a sucker) told her the right way to spell it. Turns out she was putting three drawings together to make a book. I was so shocked when she asked me to staple the pages together I did it without realizing I just became a book binder.
midlander
Jul 14, 21 7:58 pm
OP - have you left the field of architecture? Telling your son the story behind that will be much more helpful for his decisions than simply ordering him not to take that path. if you live in a free society like america or europe, what you say will have limited influence on their decisions, and can only limit the degree of trust they have with you.
and if you haven't left the field, then this is just an instance of 'do as i say not as i do' which isn't going to lead your children to hold your evaluations in high regard - they'll have no respect for you if that becomes a core part of how you present yourself to them.
the biographies of famous figures in the arts and architecture are so full of people doing it in spite of the wishes of parents that you'd almost think forbidding it is the best way to ensure your child will succeed in the field. if he shows natural inclination, why don't you try to help him develop his skills and be good at it, instead of being the world's worst lawyer or unhappiest accountant? tell him how to avoid getting stuck in a bad job instead of simply cutting off discussion of the field.
gwharton
Jul 15, 21 1:44 pm
I am well-known among friend, family, and professional colleagues for being extremely good at dissuading people from pursuing a career in architecture. And also for mentoring them along the path if they decide to ignore all my warnings and do it anyway (which, honestly, is a prerequisite for doing the job....if I can talk you out of it that easily, you don't have what it takes to succeed at it).
Of my two children, now both graduated from college, the older had the perfect personality and set of talents to be a successful architect. If she had decided to do it, she would have done it extremely well. She never expressed any interest so I never tried to talk her out of it. But if she had, I would have. I asked her about it once, and she said, "Oh God no. I saw what that was like growing up. No thank you."
?
So, congrats on making it easier for your son to choose architecture. Can’t wait till he starts rebelling against his parents and do exactly what you’d advice against...well done!
i think being a choreographer would be a good career
already answered this earlier. Don’t push your shortcomings onto your children.
I didn't tell your son anything.
If I did, it wouldn't be, "don't be an architect." My dad, an engineer, did that to me, and I listened. I should have been an architect.
On the results of an aptitude test I took in high school my father wrote 'engineering' with a blue Prismacolor.
I can just see younger Miles: 'Toss off dad, I'm gonna be an artist!' :)
Miles, your father overestimated you, didn't he?
I'd tell him to "Dont be a dick"
that would be enough
although my step fathers name is Dick and he's a pretty stand up guy :)
I told my sons to be happy.
Growing up we were always told "You can be anything you want but we'd prefer if you have a professional degree". Their point was that they didn't mind what we studied but they wanted us to have a professional license at the end of the process. I think it was solid council, I'll probably tell my future kids the same one day. We're one member of the family taking their final exams away from everyone being a licensed professional. Spouses included we've got a couple of architects, nurse practitioners, a nurse & a lawyer. Only took 16 degrees to make it happen lol.
I didn't tell all three kids not to be an architect, but I didn't encourage it. Two went to business school and one became a fire-fighter / electrician / ski guide ( jack of all trades ). I suppose they could have taken over "the firm" but they just weren't interested in early days, and I didn't feel like had to push it.
I started to worry once my son started to ask question like how does people plan a building, how s building standing up, how neighborhoods being organized, etc...
Being a dad, I answered them all. But from deep inside, I wish he would ask questions like how s car work, how s plan fly, etc...
No, i don't have a firm for him to take over.
Not really a model parent there. Who cares if you don't agree with their interests? For all you know, they could easily be a better architect than you. The bar is likely not that high anyways.
Wow NS, way to judge other's parenting techniques without any regard for their background. I think the OP is honest, and as he said, hes answered all the kids questions, but wish he sets his sights higher than architecture. I dont see anything wrong in that, and certainly does not warrant not being called a model parent lol.
^see the OP's first post in the forum.
They have an odd way to say they don't support their kid's interests in their job. T'is all.
But in my not important defense, I thought the OP was a spam bot posting generic comments leading up to a spamshow until this comment. Not 100% convinced that I'm wrong on that last point tho.
I think English may not be their first language
Non sequitur and sameolddoctor, I told myself not to answer, racist and erogant people are everywhere anyway, architect or not. But I woke up this morning still being bothered. Why English is not my first language matters ? Does people with English as first language has more value in though and opinion ? You could not even read well between "support" and "support career choice", so much of an English speaker yourself...Why you think I am a failing architect ? I don't like my child to be an architect because I don't like to see him working with erogant, self righteous, back stabbing and jealous peoples. I worked with both engineers and architects at various small and corporate firms, i know the differences, hence the original post...
It's actually not that bad at all as long as the expectations are reasonable and you're not stuck in a vicious cycle of slaveship offices.
hiennguyen, I did not imply that having, or not having english as a first language was a bad thing. Just trying to tell NS that your post was not "spammy". I, for one totally understand your sentiment, and believe that the profession is stuck up in many different ways, from architectural offices to clients' mentality to the reality on the ground. Hopefully there will be some positive change in the profession but who knows.
@hiennguyen, don't mind NonSequitur. He has Aspergers syndrome (no empathy), so he doesn't understand that hurting others is wrong. He is a rather special case we have here at the forum. I personally think you are a great parent for caring about your son's future, regardless of whether he will go into architecture or not!
Daer, you don't have to defend anybody. I can tell an ASD person from his writing; in this case is not. In other culture they called it RUDE, English speaking or not. You don't say to a person s face "I don't think you are a spammy".
Not defending him at all. Everyone on here knows that he doesn't have people skills.
hienn... I don't know what daer wrote since I have the poor sap on ignore, but I doubt they wrote anything useful and they are likely one of the jealous assholes you referenced above. Important to note that their only goal on this site is to follow my comments and say the same un-imaginative (I assume) jive. I guess they are still jealous that others can have real careers in architecture while they are stuck in a perpetual "catching up" state. Maybe.
BTW, stay on the forums long enough and you'll see why I treated your first few posts as spammy. Common spambot to make 2 to 3 offbeat comments or start weird threads before they carpet bomb other discussions with links.
Given your ASD issue, I am relieved you have found an outlet to your agression on these forums, instead of bullying your colleagues or beating your wife. But then again who knows?
I don’t really care which careers my kids pivot towards when time comes, they seem very interested in janitorial work and garbage trucks.. just hope they will travel and see the world before making up their minds and become the famous artists they are destined to become.
My 4yr old even has his own trash picker for when we go to the park and fights his little brother to take control of the vacuum cleaner, and he loves to help
fixing bikes or using random tools in random ways around the house.
my childhood dream was to drive a garbage truck. my wife's was to be a butcher (seriously...) both fell through and we ended up in architecture.
My kid wants to become a professional hockey player for the Tampa Bay Lightning.
Lots of people told me not to be an architect. They aren't worth listening to. My daughter says she is going to be an architect. I am going to have her start earning experience points soon.
I think blanket "do this / don't do this" advice assumes a universality of experience and motivation that ultimately leads to greater dissatisfaction among the population as a whole.
I understand the desire to shield the ones we love from harm, but when it comes at the cost of denying them an experience that could just as easily be deeply rewarding, I think it's worth questioning whether our actions are working against the outcome we say we want.
My daughter said she wanted to be an author-illustrator (well actually "writer who draws pictures") last night. How do I crush her dreams right now in the harshest possible way. She's 4 so I got plenty of time to figure it out, but I don't want to mess around and figure it out through trial and error.
well, it's easy EA.... just buy her knock-off prisma-colour pencils (or knock-off Crayola if you really want to drive the point home). That'll turn away from those ideas and lead her straight into a fulfilling career of... I don't know... aerospace engineering? Mine does not speak or understand the concept of jobs/careers so I'm not there yet. Any advice on how I can strong arm him into a specific direction while quashing his cute little dreams at the same time? Perhaps a pair of beige slacks will help.
Hope you’re saving up for her MFA in film studies!
NS, I've seen your backyard set up with the swing and climbing wall. Beige slacks aren't going to help. You might as well push him to be one of those contestants on American Ninja Warrior (does that get exported north of the border?) because you won't be able to overcome it now.
I'm probably already screwed too. She's already well on her way teaching herself to read so I'm behind the 8-ball already. Then last night she was drawing a picture and asked me how to spell "the end" and I (like a sucker) told her the right way to spell it. Turns out she was putting three drawings together to make a book. I was so shocked when she asked me to staple the pages together I did it without realizing I just became a book binder.
OP - have you left the field of architecture? Telling your son the story behind that will be much more helpful for his decisions than simply ordering him not to take that path. if you live in a free society like america or europe, what you say will have limited influence on their decisions, and can only limit the degree of trust they have with you.
and if you haven't left the field, then this is just an instance of 'do as i say not as i do' which isn't going to lead your children to hold your evaluations in high regard - they'll have no respect for you if that becomes a core part of how you present yourself to them.
the biographies of famous figures in the arts and architecture are so full of people doing it in spite of the wishes of parents that you'd almost think forbidding it is the best way to ensure your child will succeed in the field. if he shows natural inclination, why don't you try to help him develop his skills and be good at it, instead of being the world's worst lawyer or unhappiest accountant? tell him how to avoid getting stuck in a bad job instead of simply cutting off discussion of the field.
I am well-known among friend, family, and professional colleagues for being extremely good at dissuading people from pursuing a career in architecture. And also for mentoring them along the path if they decide to ignore all my warnings and do it anyway (which, honestly, is a prerequisite for doing the job....if I can talk you out of it that easily, you don't have what it takes to succeed at it).
Of my two children, now both graduated from college, the older had the perfect personality and set of talents to be a successful architect. If she had decided to do it, she would have done it extremely well. She never expressed any interest so I never tried to talk her out of it. But if she had, I would have. I asked her about it once, and she said, "Oh God no. I saw what that was like growing up. No thank you."