I am 27 and attending graduate school in Europe. Before that I worked for a few years at some large firms.
One of my classes at school is taught by a middle aged professor who is also a practising architect.
From the very first class, I realised that the guy took an instant dislike on me. Sometimes he looks disturbed when I am speaking to him or stares at me with an awkward / annoyed look.
I honestly don't know what I've done wrong here, as I am always on time, I participate a lot in the class and bring quality work every time.
I am concerned that my grades are going to suffer regardless of my actual performance, so I am looking for some advice on how to deal with this.
What do you think?
thisisnotmyname
Feb 24, 20 4:47 pm
I had similar experiences on two separate occasions in undergrad. I'm not quite sure what motivated their dislike, but I certainly know both instructors took every opportunity they could find to lower my grade.
If at all possible, change instructors immediately.
Non Sequitur
Feb 24, 20 4:50 pm
or... it's all in your head.
On the fence
Feb 24, 20 5:11 pm
Sometimes in life you will find that you need to learn how to deal with people who do not agree with you nor like you.
Kinsbergen
Feb 24, 20 6:41 pm
That's a given. The case is that this person is marking my portfolio and there is nothing I can do, since I didn't do anything wrong in the first place to generate their dislike. On the other hand, I am a very strong student and always have been.
Non Sequitur
Feb 24, 20 7:03 pm
Is your work and quality as a student drastically less than you've convinced yourself it to be? Perhaps this is the answer.
rsrs
Feb 24, 20 7:51 pm
Oh fuck off troll.
Non Sequitur
Feb 24, 20 7:56 pm
there ain't no trolls here.
rsrs
Feb 24, 20 8:04 pm
Oh please, go back tο your mum schoolboy.
Non Sequitur
Feb 24, 20 8:08 pm
really? Ok there wanker. My question above was legitimate. I've seen plenty of students think they were getting the short end of the stick by their studio profs while all it was in the end was that they were just OK students with a un-naturally high opinion of their work.
rsrs
Feb 24, 20 8:21 pm
That's just your autistic perception. Now go away little boy.
Non Sequitur
Feb 24, 20 8:28 pm
I’m fine. Thank you.
rsrs
Feb 24, 20 7:54 pm
If your instructor shows he/she is not font of you I would advise you to change to a different studio group ASAP. This could greatly impact your studies. Is this a semester only class or are we speaking of a thesis instructor?
Kinsbergen
Feb 26, 20 7:10 pm
It's a semester project, but still one that I have to take in order to complete all the credits required.
midlander
Feb 25, 20 5:10 am
talk to him directly and firmly. if you feel at all threatened set up a meeting with him in a visible meeting room. you don't give much evidence for your feelings her, but tell him you feel he regards you differently and you expect fair treatment in class. if he has any concerns ask him to send you an email which you can discuss after having time to review.
i had a difficult boss once early in my career who was unnecessarily aggressive and hostile with me in the office. after a couple days resenting it, i came in early one morning and waited for him to get in and get settled in his office then walked in and asked him directly if there is a problem with my work, that i expected professional treatment from him, and any specific problems in my work he could write down for me to follow up and improve on.
he didn't have much reaction but said no specific problem. he continued to be kind of a dick but wasn't so aggressive after that, and we were able to continue working together without problems for the remainder of that project.
some people you'll never figure out, and will never enjoy working with, but you can make sure they don't harass you in a professional environment if you're firm.
Sitting Duck
Feb 26, 20 7:38 pm
^Seconded.
Wood Guy
Feb 25, 20 9:18 am
You could start by asking for a meeting. You might say something along the lines of you feel like some people take an instant dislike to you, including this professor, and you would sincerely appreciate constructive feedback as to whether there is something you are doing, not doing or could do differently. Then--and this is important--listen to their feedback. Take notes, even, and review the notes after some time has passed.
This approach should disarm them and shows that you understand that something is off and that you have the maturity to face it head-on in a non-emotional manner.
Or switch classes. But my approach is better practice for real life. If it doesn't work, then switch classes.
Menona
Feb 25, 20 9:57 am
You mentioned Europe. Is he just - French?
Non Sequitur
Feb 25, 20 10:00 am
oui oui.
Volunteer
Feb 25, 20 6:56 pm
Your professor (or your boss in later life) is responsible for making a collegial environment for all. If he can't take a few minutes to know each class member and say 'good morning' and make small talk for a few minutes every class period he really shouldn't be in the classroom.
Dokuser
Feb 26, 20 2:24 am
Rest in peace to your grade! :)
Kinsbergen
Feb 26, 20 7:11 pm
Well that gives me high hopes thanks.
OneLostArchitect
Feb 26, 20 8:39 am
I had two instructors that had a hard on for me. For whatever reason I don’t know. Sometime you just don’t rub people the right way. They both gave me the lowest passing grade to move on to next studio. Who cares,,, you move on and that’s jt
Kinsbergen
Feb 26, 20 7:16 pm
Well I do care because I want to graduate with a good GPA. I was an excellent student at my former school and I am very hard working and really motivated to do well. It just seems so idiotic to me that this one person determines what my future will be like regardless of my efforts.
Sitting Duck
Feb 26, 20 8:02 pm
Definitely confront the professor when you have enough context and frame of mind to speak objectively to their "unprofessional behavior". I would have the 'spiel' ready to beforehand and attempt to appeal to their 'professionalism' as your way forward. If you decide to stay in the class, write everything down that you found out of line (getting into tiffs with the professor does not count). You have to be able to point to where because they acted "x" your instruction was negative impacted / withheld/ diminished beyond just personality differences. Beyond that, you have to stay on top of the work load / deadlines so they can't point to that. If you feel compelled to challenge your grade at the end of the semester you will have specific references to challenge it with but be prepared for the bad grade all the same. (No one cares about grades, btw._ Most instances academia "endures" this kind of thing. The professor might not change their behavior in any significant way, but you will have learned to stand up for yourself, which is a hell of a lot easier to do in academia than the professional world.
I am 27 and attending graduate school in Europe. Before that I worked for a few years at some large firms.
One of my classes at school is taught by a middle aged professor who is also a practising architect.
From the very first class, I realised that the guy took an instant dislike on me. Sometimes he looks disturbed when I am speaking to him or stares at me with an awkward / annoyed look.
I honestly don't know what I've done wrong here, as I am always on time, I participate a lot in the class and bring quality work every time.
I am concerned that my grades are going to suffer regardless of my actual performance, so I am looking for some advice on how to deal with this.
What do you think?
I had similar experiences on two separate occasions in undergrad. I'm not quite sure what motivated their dislike, but I certainly know both instructors took every opportunity they could find to lower my grade.
If at all possible, change instructors immediately.
or... it's all in your head.
Sometimes in life you will find that you need to learn how to deal with people who do not agree with you nor like you.
That's a given. The case is that this person is marking my portfolio and there is nothing I can do, since I didn't do anything wrong in the first place to generate their dislike. On the other hand, I am a very strong student and always have been.
Is your work and quality as a student drastically less than you've convinced yourself it to be? Perhaps this is the answer.
Oh fuck off troll.
there ain't no trolls here.
Oh please, go back tο your mum schoolboy.
really? Ok there wanker. My question above was legitimate. I've seen plenty of students think they were getting the short end of the stick by their studio profs while all it was in the end was that they were just OK students with a un-naturally high opinion of their work.
That's just your autistic perception. Now go away little boy.
I’m fine. Thank you.
If your instructor shows he/she is not font of you I would advise you to change to a different studio group ASAP. This could greatly impact your studies. Is this a semester only class or are we speaking of a thesis instructor?
It's a semester project, but still one that I have to take in order to complete all the credits required.
talk to him directly and firmly. if you feel at all threatened set up a meeting with him in a visible meeting room. you don't give much evidence for your feelings her, but tell him you feel he regards you differently and you expect fair treatment in class. if he has any concerns ask him to send you an email which you can discuss after having time to review.
i had a difficult boss once early in my career who was unnecessarily aggressive and hostile with me in the office. after a couple days resenting it, i came in early one morning and waited for him to get in and get settled in his office then walked in and asked him directly if there is a problem with my work, that i expected professional treatment from him, and any specific problems in my work he could write down for me to follow up and improve on.
he didn't have much reaction but said no specific problem. he continued to be kind of a dick but wasn't so aggressive after that, and we were able to continue working together without problems for the remainder of that project.
some people you'll never figure out, and will never enjoy working with, but you can make sure they don't harass you in a professional environment if you're firm.
^Seconded.
You could start by asking for a meeting. You might say something along the lines of you feel like some people take an instant dislike to you, including this professor, and you would sincerely appreciate constructive feedback as to whether there is something you are doing, not doing or could do differently. Then--and this is important--listen to their feedback. Take notes, even, and review the notes after some time has passed.
This approach should disarm them and shows that you understand that something is off and that you have the maturity to face it head-on in a non-emotional manner.
Or switch classes. But my approach is better practice for real life. If it doesn't work, then switch classes.
You mentioned Europe. Is he just - French?
oui oui.
Your professor (or your boss in later life) is responsible for making a collegial environment for all. If he can't take a few minutes to know each class member and say 'good morning' and make small talk for a few minutes every class period he really shouldn't be in the classroom.
Rest in peace to your grade! :)
Well that gives me high hopes thanks.
I had two instructors that had a hard on for me. For whatever reason I don’t know. Sometime you just don’t rub people the right way. They both gave me the lowest passing grade to move on to next studio. Who cares,,, you move on and that’s jt
Well I do care because I want to graduate with a good GPA. I was an excellent student at my former school and I am very hard working and really motivated to do well. It just seems so idiotic to me that this one person determines what my future will be like regardless of my efforts.
Definitely confront the professor when you have enough context and frame of mind to speak objectively to their "unprofessional behavior". I would have the 'spiel' ready to beforehand and attempt to appeal to their 'professionalism' as your way forward. If you decide to stay in the class, write everything down that you found out of line (getting into tiffs with the professor does not count). You have to be able to point to where because they acted "x" your instruction was negative impacted / withheld/ diminished beyond just personality differences. Beyond that, you have to stay on top of the work load / deadlines so they can't point to that. If you feel compelled to challenge your grade at the end of the semester you will have specific references to challenge it with but be prepared for the bad grade all the same. (No one cares about grades, btw._ Most instances academia "endures" this kind of thing. The professor might not change their behavior in any significant way, but you will have learned to stand up for yourself, which is a hell of a lot easier to do in academia than the professional world.