I am working on my PS and finished the first draft for GSD. Would love to get some opinion on this. I found it really hard to show the passion but at the same time provide some academic view ( I am in the BS ARCH program). Really appreciate if you could read the whole thing and tell me what you think( it's long I know)
Hey nynana, I'm in a similar position myself, so I'm not exactly clear what schools look for. However, my recommendation would be to cut down on the amount of description you provide on your work (that's what the portfolio is for, and yours looks strong) and instead talk on a more personal level. Your describing your fascination with the urban condition in Venice is wonderful, and I like the bit about buildings being deceptive. The rest is a bit overwhelming. Overall, there are typos and some sentence structure is odd, but you should be able to get general help with that.
nynana
Nov 17, 16 1:36 am
@jonlwilk Thank you so much! I do think the part describing the project is a bit too much. I will fix the typo and grammar thing once I settle down with the big structure.
Non Sequitur
Nov 17, 16 7:41 am
Full justify the text and try and shorten the length of each paragraph. No one wants to read 2000 words crammed into large blocks.
I am not a fan of your opening sentence. Too loose, and does not grab the attention.
Hey Y'all,
I am working on my PS and finished the first draft for GSD. Would love to get some opinion on this. I found it really hard to show the passion but at the same time provide some academic view ( I am in the BS ARCH program). Really appreciate if you could read the whole thing and tell me what you think( it's long I know)
https://issuu.com/yw5ef/docs/ps_draft_1
Thanks
Hey nynana, I'm in a similar position myself, so I'm not exactly clear what schools look for. However, my recommendation would be to cut down on the amount of description you provide on your work (that's what the portfolio is for, and yours looks strong) and instead talk on a more personal level. Your describing your fascination with the urban condition in Venice is wonderful, and I like the bit about buildings being deceptive. The rest is a bit overwhelming. Overall, there are typos and some sentence structure is odd, but you should be able to get general help with that.
@jonlwilk Thank you so much! I do think the part describing the project is a bit too much. I will fix the typo and grammar thing once I settle down with the big structure.
Full justify the text and try and shorten the length of each paragraph. No one wants to read 2000 words crammed into large blocks.
I am not a fan of your opening sentence. Too loose, and does not grab the attention.