My house refinance is finally officially underway. Have no idea why I waited so long to gather up all the information they needed and to sign the disclosure forms. Including scanning the documents in, I'd say the whole process took less than an hour.
You all such have great wedding day stories. I hope to have one of my own someday...
sarah, there are lots of members of the tribe in philly if you know where to look. Yes, that is my ethnic heritage, but I've been a practicing atheist for over two decades.
You have clearly never been to a southern baptist wedding held outdoor in the middle of the summer that's booze free. Alcohol is devil's water. Even beer. Thanks Jebus.
our wedding was perfect, really. no unplanned eventfulness. we did the invites ourselves. the cake was cheap, from an old-time local place, and awesome. the flowers were a gift from a florist friend. our officiants (2 of them) were friends. we wrote every word that was said and decided how the whole ceremony would be choreographed. friends played the music. the alcohol and food were catered by friends. and the venue was an amazing garden space owned by my wife's boss (i.e., free). a real 'takes a village' kind of event, outdoors on a perfect late may afternoon. left us plenty of money to take our honeymoon in morocco and spain!
I went to a southern baptist wedding outdoors in summer. Thankfully, though, the groom's family brought beer and a zydeco band, so dancing, while quite one-sided in terms of who participated, was irresistible and crazyfun.
barry, respectfully: how does one practice as an atheist? You don't really have to DO anything, right? Which is pretty much what I do as an agnostic, I just don't consider it practicing.
And I went crazy anal when it came to choreography. I selected all the church music (the music played before, and after the ceremony, and then helped my mother re-write it all so the tunes wouldn't be recognizable to the guests. I couldn't tell you now the song I walked down the aisle to, but we walked out to "Let's Go Fly a Kite!"
And Whoa! Who's this Will character? Just jumping in here like he knows us, and all!
donna - around here there are "humanist meetings" which are supposed to be like atheist fellowship services except they're more like sunday morning lecture series or book clubs...
I prefer quaker services though - one hour of people sitting silently in a room staring at each other. it's both meditative and intimate.
us human beans are very bad that way sarah. i wouldna dun it but it seemed strange to have a blog for my university that left me as this anonymous poster and not a face. bad way to represent. so i flipped the switch. not sure how i feel about being so public to be honest, but whatever...not like i tried to hide my identity before anyway.
I'd share my wonderful wedding day but, it's too damn painful.
On another note; I am getting certified to teach English and will make a decision to teach in one of a few countries; India, south Korea, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, or UAE. China perhaps...I'm leaving in September.
Beta - I'll put you in touch with by brother-in-law, he's teaching at an international school in St. Petersburg.RU and has taught around the mid-east. he recommends against teaching Kuwait & the middle east.
Donna, I'm actively NOT going to any organized rituals and trying to be as secular/scientifically rational as possible. Oh, I'm also trying to avoid any references to any religious activities, especially holiday music.
"I'd share my wonderful wedding day but, it's too damn painful."
Why? Are you that mopey divorced guy? I remember a mopey divorced guy hanging around here.
I'll start. Got married at NYC city hall with only a group of close friends attending. Whole thing cost under $200, and it was worth every penny! For we didn't last to our second anniversary. You let go. The split was amicable, and we remain very close friends to this day. Life sometimes gets in the way of boring fairy-tales. If the wedding was memorable, then it surely doesn't negate because of how it ended. No?
Having kids and joint property can make things messy (how do you split that?), but that's what chain-saws were invented for.
Do you suppose the cones and mirrors are for the escorts, or the parking?
barry I ask, seriously, because the thing I miss most about church is the community meditation aspect (and the way the meditation was enhanced by good architecture, when I happened to attend a church with good architecture). I've thought about U-Universalist or Friends, but honestly that would make my dad freak out more than me just not practicing at all.
And of course, I love holiday music!
It's pouring rain here today. I need to get the chicken coop winterized, but I'm hoping for another 70 degree weekend this month - it's very possible. At least 65.
beta i looked into that right out of undergraduate. From my recollection Middle Eastern countries paid the most 3-4 K a month with room and board but were very restrictive. Whereas some other places (i was interested in Southern/Central America) pay less but have a great lifestyle in terms of additional traveling around in country.
I definitely, hope to plan and do my own wedding on the sort of scale and style that you seem to have managed Steven. Luckily that is how my lady has always wanted hers.
rusty! please back off from beta, the divorce is fresh. All wounds take time to heal.
New BF/future husband is an atheist too. He's been explaining his view on the universe (or shall I say multi-verses) and it seems to make sense... I'm just not sure I'm ready to let go of the highly spiritual side of me.
toaster - I think I'd really enjoy those Humanist meetings.
beta, if you haven't read Rivertown, it's a must-read! One of my all-time favorite books, and I don't say that lightly. It's about teaching English for 2 years in rural China. Definitely read it.
Steven, the wedding you describe is exactly what I want. We have 2 photographers (different styles/focii) for free, I'm going to do the flowers myself, and we're thinking of having a potluck dessert table instead of traditional wedding cake. We are blessed in that we have a large body of loving friends in our town who will want to pitch in and be part of everything. The downside is finding a place to put them all that isn't totally ugly. The one thing I don't like about this city is that its public spaces are really poorly designed and unnattractive. Barry, you have a good idea but the city parks here require 1) that you use their $$ caterer and 2) that you have all kinds of security guards and extra crap you have to pay for. Also how do you keep random people from just wandering through? I don't want to feel like we're "on display" for the community... my fiance is shy.
Hence the deep desire for a backyard wedding. Natural, communal, and enclosed. Too bad no one has a backyard! I'll keep hoping melt but I've been looking for months and now winter is about to hit, so even if I found one at this point I wouldn't really be able to assess how it looks. Just frustrated b/c I come from an area of great natural beauty and that is NOT where I live now.
My husband is an ordained minister in the church of spiritual humanism, so that is what we practice as well, if anything. He officiated one wedding, for a family member.
One of our clients was a quaker and converted to hinduism. Love her perspectives and stories on both.
Has anyone seen those commercials, "I am a mormon."? I have heard that it is the fastest growing faith in the US, but besides driving across Utah a few times, I have little to no exposure to it.
thank you for that link toaster, we were recently acquired by a canadian firm... I feel like I know a lot more about our corporate overlords thanks to perusing molson canadian commercials.
Myriam, is that the book where the writer takes a train across the country, and a couple do it in the bunk below him? I know there was more to that book, but I figured that scene would distinguish it more from other books.
There is no there (TNT), you don't have mormoms knocking on your door? It may be kinda mean, but I like to ask them the hard questions, like about their magic underwear and such just to see what they say. They're all young men, maybe 18-20, so it's interesting to see how that react. One guy got nervous, and shuffled, while his partner very calmly, and intelligently answered the question. They are always very nice and polite.
postal - i came of age in a border town adjacent to canadia's version of tijuana. almost every Friday during the colder months I used to frequent a place of debauchery whose proprietor was known only as "grapes."
Sarah, I don't answer knocks at the door. :) I did get pulled over by a trooper in Utah, and he was very nice. And very white. And I charmed him out of giving me a ticket even though I was speeding in a school zone and I happened to be drinking coffee.
mormons come to our door too even in tokyo. and we are in a 5 story walk up so it ain't no easy thing.
religion requires believing at least a dozen impossible things a day so why antagonize anyone over it? i figure if anyone needs to judge better to let god take care of it...;-)
those canadian commercials are brilliant ! all americans should watch them.
Now I have to go watch them. It's like a homework assignment.
And I agree about the judging. I've just always like to get all sides of a story, even if it's a rumor about magic underwear, from the source. Sometimes, that gets me into trouble.
That's funny Sarah, I have absolutely no memory of anything remotely like that in the book - but that's not to say it isn't in there. That's not the type of scene that would normally lodge itself in my memory banks. My memories of the book are the parts in which he describes what it was like to teach english under the watchful eye of the Communist Party, and what it was like to be one of 2 white people in a "small town" of 800,000 people, and his interviews with regular Chinese folks discussing how they felt about the fact that their town was about to be entirely flooded by the damming of the yangtze and their homes and everything they knew would soon be underwater forever. (Their perspective completely surprised and intrigued me.)
I went to an Wedding in America where they had and Elephant . It was all in all a wild ass wedding for one of those new age muscians. It was held on the back forty acres of their place which you had to hike into, usless you were old and they hauled you in in horse drawn wagons. Funny thing is I can't recall the guys name. It was kind of a Paul McCartney kind of marriage...where she was alot...and I mean alot younger than him.
Snook, I have the feeling that you'd be wonderful to have dinner with. If I'm ever up your way, I'm, looking you up! Of course, feel free to do the same if you ever come my way.
FYI, don't attempt cutting a plaid-pattern mask for a flask. It sucks.
Saw a totally inspiring yet thoroughly depressing talk by Liz Diller tonight. Depressing because not only would Naptown never support that caliber of work, but also because two minutes before the lecture started, I learned that the Director of the Indianapolis Museum of Art, the amazing Max Anderson, is leaving to go to Dallas. Look for a mass rush of other talented artistic types, including likely me and mine, to leave town soon too.
well, you could come to louisville, but Lfab doesn't have the same ring to it.
i bet brian could get OOTW shown here when it comes down there, though. then you'd at least have to come to town for the opening.
anderson's been great, i know, but ima is a pretty dynamic organization anyway, has a lot of momentum, and will be well-positioned to get a great new leader. the current generation of museum directors seems to have eschewed the old guard ways to some extent (while still keeping an eye on the money, magically) and there ought to be someone floating around out there who's a fit.
a lot has gone into the place - capital projects on site - over the last decade or so. even though i know anderson's done a good job of outreach, maybe the next person will focus on next steps, i.e., even more on reaching off-site and making things happen in/around the community.
watching what happened here and what's happened at some other city museums, there seems to be a thing among directors that each is in his/her place for a particular role and when that role is fulfilled, it's time to move on and let someone else take a different role, have a different strategy. could be what mr anderson's decided.
Donna - Where are you and the fam thinking of moving to when the exodus happens? Before you leave I must get my butt over there to see Brian's Exhibit and to have lunch with you again.
You could come here! You could teach me how to be cool, and still be in the PTA. I joined Son's PTF (parent teacher family?) only because I knew that I should, and figured if you could do it, and still be cool, I could too. Since I haven't heard anything from them yet, I'm still worried it's going to be all Harper Valley.
Since it seems you're welcome anywhere, it seems you could just take a year off and do a tour of the country, world if you make it to Will's place.
Thread Central
My house refinance is finally officially underway. Have no idea why I waited so long to gather up all the information they needed and to sign the disclosure forms. Including scanning the documents in, I'd say the whole process took less than an hour.
You all such have great wedding day stories. I hope to have one of my own someday...
all weddings are great
were reading lulu and the brontosaurus this week in the house of JUMP. fantastic book for children.
wups premature postification. meant to add that you will have a great wedding too melt!
Ha, Rusty. I went to college in Philadelphia.
sarah, there are lots of members of the tribe in philly if you know where to look. Yes, that is my ethnic heritage, but I've been a practicing atheist for over two decades.
"all weddings are great"
You have clearly never been to a southern baptist wedding held outdoor in the middle of the summer that's booze free. Alcohol is devil's water. Even beer. Thanks Jebus.
Rusty, you forget, there's no dancing, either.
our wedding was perfect, really. no unplanned eventfulness. we did the invites ourselves. the cake was cheap, from an old-time local place, and awesome. the flowers were a gift from a florist friend. our officiants (2 of them) were friends. we wrote every word that was said and decided how the whole ceremony would be choreographed. friends played the music. the alcohol and food were catered by friends. and the venue was an amazing garden space owned by my wife's boss (i.e., free). a real 'takes a village' kind of event, outdoors on a perfect late may afternoon. left us plenty of money to take our honeymoon in morocco and spain!
I went to a southern baptist wedding outdoors in summer. Thankfully, though, the groom's family brought beer and a zydeco band, so dancing, while quite one-sided in terms of who participated, was irresistible and crazyfun.
barry, respectfully: how does one practice as an atheist? You don't really have to DO anything, right? Which is pretty much what I do as an agnostic, I just don't consider it practicing.
zydeco at a wedding sounds awesome.
by the way changed the button on my profile to make me human bean, not JUMP. will see if i keep it this way or not...
whoa! welcome to 3D jump!
Sarah, no drinking =clearly no dancing.
Touche.
And I went crazy anal when it came to choreography. I selected all the church music (the music played before, and after the ceremony, and then helped my mother re-write it all so the tunes wouldn't be recognizable to the guests. I couldn't tell you now the song I walked down the aisle to, but we walked out to "Let's Go Fly a Kite!"
And Whoa! Who's this Will character? Just jumping in here like he knows us, and all!
donna - around here there are "humanist meetings" which are supposed to be like atheist fellowship services except they're more like sunday morning lecture series or book clubs...
I prefer quaker services though - one hour of people sitting silently in a room staring at each other. it's both meditative and intimate.
best wishes with your wedding, david!
us human beans are very bad that way sarah. i wouldna dun it but it seemed strange to have a blog for my university that left me as this anonymous poster and not a face. bad way to represent. so i flipped the switch. not sure how i feel about being so public to be honest, but whatever...not like i tried to hide my identity before anyway.
btw, the blog of which is speak is here
I'd share my wonderful wedding day but, it's too damn painful. On another note; I am getting certified to teach English and will make a decision to teach in one of a few countries; India, south Korea, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, or UAE. China perhaps...I'm leaving in September.
Nice to see you Will, you rock star!
beta, sorry for the painful wedding memories. Are you still working while also getting trained? Or are you already abroad? I've missed you!
Burned the hell out of my thumb tonight. Nice blister forming!
Beta - I'll put you in touch with by brother-in-law, he's teaching at an international school in St. Petersburg.RU and has taught around the mid-east. he recommends against teaching Kuwait & the middle east.
Donna, I'm actively NOT going to any organized rituals and trying to be as secular/scientifically rational as possible. Oh, I'm also trying to avoid any references to any religious activities, especially holiday music.
"I'd share my wonderful wedding day but, it's too damn painful."
Why? Are you that mopey divorced guy? I remember a mopey divorced guy hanging around here.
I'll start. Got married at NYC city hall with only a group of close friends attending. Whole thing cost under $200, and it was worth every penny! For we didn't last to our second anniversary. You let go. The split was amicable, and we remain very close friends to this day. Life sometimes gets in the way of boring fairy-tales. If the wedding was memorable, then it surely doesn't negate because of how it ended. No?
Having kids and joint property can make things messy (how do you split that?), but that's what chain-saws were invented for.
lol donna
why avoid holiday song barry? they are usually so joyful.
wow, asian escorts also teach parking these days?! that's diversification!
Do you suppose the cones and mirrors are for the escorts, or the parking?
barry I ask, seriously, because the thing I miss most about church is the community meditation aspect (and the way the meditation was enhanced by good architecture, when I happened to attend a church with good architecture). I've thought about U-Universalist or Friends, but honestly that would make my dad freak out more than me just not practicing at all.
And of course, I love holiday music!
It's pouring rain here today. I need to get the chicken coop winterized, but I'm hoping for another 70 degree weekend this month - it's very possible. At least 65.
hey Will, good to see you around here..
beta i looked into that right out of undergraduate. From my recollection Middle Eastern countries paid the most 3-4 K a month with room and board but were very restrictive. Whereas some other places (i was interested in Southern/Central America) pay less but have a great lifestyle in terms of additional traveling around in country.
I definitely, hope to plan and do my own wedding on the sort of scale and style that you seem to have managed Steven. Luckily that is how my lady has always wanted hers.
rusty! please back off from beta, the divorce is fresh. All wounds take time to heal.
New BF/future husband is an atheist too. He's been explaining his view on the universe (or shall I say multi-verses) and it seems to make sense... I'm just not sure I'm ready to let go of the highly spiritual side of me.
toaster - I think I'd really enjoy those Humanist meetings.
beta, if you haven't read Rivertown, it's a must-read! One of my all-time favorite books, and I don't say that lightly. It's about teaching English for 2 years in rural China. Definitely read it.
Steven, the wedding you describe is exactly what I want. We have 2 photographers (different styles/focii) for free, I'm going to do the flowers myself, and we're thinking of having a potluck dessert table instead of traditional wedding cake. We are blessed in that we have a large body of loving friends in our town who will want to pitch in and be part of everything. The downside is finding a place to put them all that isn't totally ugly. The one thing I don't like about this city is that its public spaces are really poorly designed and unnattractive. Barry, you have a good idea but the city parks here require 1) that you use their $$ caterer and 2) that you have all kinds of security guards and extra crap you have to pay for. Also how do you keep random people from just wandering through? I don't want to feel like we're "on display" for the community... my fiance is shy.
Hence the deep desire for a backyard wedding. Natural, communal, and enclosed. Too bad no one has a backyard! I'll keep hoping melt but I've been looking for months and now winter is about to hit, so even if I found one at this point I wouldn't really be able to assess how it looks. Just frustrated b/c I come from an area of great natural beauty and that is NOT where I live now.
My husband is an ordained minister in the church of spiritual humanism, so that is what we practice as well, if anything. He officiated one wedding, for a family member.
One of our clients was a quaker and converted to hinduism. Love her perspectives and stories on both.
Has anyone seen those commercials, "I am a mormon."? I have heard that it is the fastest growing faith in the US, but besides driving across Utah a few times, I have little to no exposure to it.
@there: never seen the commercials - are they like I am Canadian?
toast, yes and no. The commercials I've seen are more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tdrPn_RiiA
But on tv they are 30 seconds long.
thank you for that link toaster, we were recently acquired by a canadian firm... I feel like I know a lot more about our corporate overlords thanks to perusing molson canadian commercials.
Myriam, is that the book where the writer takes a train across the country, and a couple do it in the bunk below him? I know there was more to that book, but I figured that scene would distinguish it more from other books.
There is no there (TNT), you don't have mormoms knocking on your door? It may be kinda mean, but I like to ask them the hard questions, like about their magic underwear and such just to see what they say. They're all young men, maybe 18-20, so it's interesting to see how that react. One guy got nervous, and shuffled, while his partner very calmly, and intelligently answered the question. They are always very nice and polite.
postal - i came of age in a border town adjacent to canadia's version of tijuana. almost every Friday during the colder months I used to frequent a place of debauchery whose proprietor was known only as "grapes."
Sarah, I don't answer knocks at the door. :) I did get pulled over by a trooper in Utah, and he was very nice. And very white. And I charmed him out of giving me a ticket even though I was speeding in a school zone and I happened to be drinking coffee.
Heathen!
mormons come to our door too even in tokyo. and we are in a 5 story walk up so it ain't no easy thing.
religion requires believing at least a dozen impossible things a day so why antagonize anyone over it? i figure if anyone needs to judge better to let god take care of it...;-)
those canadian commercials are brilliant ! all americans should watch them.
Now I have to go watch them. It's like a homework assignment. And I agree about the judging. I've just always like to get all sides of a story, even if it's a rumor about magic underwear, from the source. Sometimes, that gets me into trouble.
That's funny Sarah, I have absolutely no memory of anything remotely like that in the book - but that's not to say it isn't in there. That's not the type of scene that would normally lodge itself in my memory banks. My memories of the book are the parts in which he describes what it was like to teach english under the watchful eye of the Communist Party, and what it was like to be one of 2 white people in a "small town" of 800,000 people, and his interviews with regular Chinese folks discussing how they felt about the fact that their town was about to be entirely flooded by the damming of the yangtze and their homes and everything they knew would soon be underwater forever. (Their perspective completely surprised and intrigued me.)
I think that is the same book. I had to read it in college for some class. Not even sure what the purpose of the class was, but it was a good book.
I went to an Wedding in America where they had and Elephant . It was all in all a wild ass wedding for one of those new age muscians. It was held on the back forty acres of their place which you had to hike into, usless you were old and they hauled you in in horse drawn wagons. Funny thing is I can't recall the guys name. It was kind of a Paul McCartney kind of marriage...where she was alot...and I mean alot younger than him.
LOL!!! You have the best stories sometimes snook. What about your own wedding to Mrs. B?
Snook, I have the feeling that you'd be wonderful to have dinner with. If I'm ever up your way, I'm, looking you up! Of course, feel free to do the same if you ever come my way.
FYI, don't attempt cutting a plaid-pattern mask for a flask. It sucks.
sarah, you make a lot of flasks!
I know. I'm making the Archinect one next. I'll post it here, and if any one is interested, I'll start taking orders.
Saw a totally inspiring yet thoroughly depressing talk by Liz Diller tonight. Depressing because not only would Naptown never support that caliber of work, but also because two minutes before the lecture started, I learned that the Director of the Indianapolis Museum of Art, the amazing Max Anderson, is leaving to go to Dallas. Look for a mass rush of other talented artistic types, including likely me and mine, to leave town soon too.
#sadinnaptown
come to my town! we take all comers.
Donna, come to LA, we welcome all dreamers!
well, you could come to louisville, but Lfab doesn't have the same ring to it.
i bet brian could get OOTW shown here when it comes down there, though. then you'd at least have to come to town for the opening.
anderson's been great, i know, but ima is a pretty dynamic organization anyway, has a lot of momentum, and will be well-positioned to get a great new leader. the current generation of museum directors seems to have eschewed the old guard ways to some extent (while still keeping an eye on the money, magically) and there ought to be someone floating around out there who's a fit.
a lot has gone into the place - capital projects on site - over the last decade or so. even though i know anderson's done a good job of outreach, maybe the next person will focus on next steps, i.e., even more on reaching off-site and making things happen in/around the community.
watching what happened here and what's happened at some other city museums, there seems to be a thing among directors that each is in his/her place for a particular role and when that role is fulfilled, it's time to move on and let someone else take a different role, have a different strategy. could be what mr anderson's decided.
Donna - Where are you and the fam thinking of moving to when the exodus happens? Before you leave I must get my butt over there to see Brian's Exhibit and to have lunch with you again.
i would suggest tokyo but it's prolly not as nice as most of the suggestions above. crazy cool art scene here though.
you could come back to philadelphia!!!
You could come here! You could teach me how to be cool, and still be in the PTA. I joined Son's PTF (parent teacher family?) only because I knew that I should, and figured if you could do it, and still be cool, I could too. Since I haven't heard anything from them yet, I'm still worried it's going to be all Harper Valley.
Since it seems you're welcome anywhere, it seems you could just take a year off and do a tour of the country, world if you make it to Will's place.
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