last night i was abducted by aliens. it was a real thrill. i want them to take me back to their planet and worship me like a god but the anal probe thingie hurt quite a bit. how should i send a signal to let them know my wishes and how can i say nicely no more orifice exploration?
dear aucch,
listen to doc. it won’t hurt much at all. get the shot even though chances are big that the scrape will not cause an amputation. it happen to plumbers a lot, and they cover it with tobacco from a cigarette butt (an ‘under rated’ use of tobacco) as an immediate cure..
don’t be afraid of rusty pipes, just watch your step. get well soon.
dear intergalactic tourist,
aucch again. those alien gangs can hurt you like they did. if you must, the best way to deal with them is to abductship them in individual basis and eliminate the rusty pipe types. them aliens, you can’t trust them anymore. next time they want to take you to their planet ask them if they are licenced as a group. get well soon.
i went on a date with a dude and found out he was a drafter. after a good amount of shop talk i decided that i kind of liked him. but he is not returning my phone calls. i tried to hide my inner snob but i fear i scared him off with my fancy architecture talk. really i was just happy to be socializing with a non-married male. what should i do?
your wealth of wisdom has been oh so helpful. of most help has been my daily consumption of a bottle of JB. i know you did say drink a bottle a day, but you know what they say about the apple and the doctor.
my question to you is how does one become so wise and what can i do to become as wise as you? drink two bottles a day?
dear steph,
follow your inner snob. in time it grows to be a delicious reference, if, humbly tamed and trained..
when and if the ‘rafter’ calls back and tell him that you ‘deleted’ him(assuming he responds to acad lingo well). you are probably right about incompetibility angle.
you seem like a misplaced person at where you are.. get your ass to nyc or something, where, fancy architecture lovers are abundant and bachelor and handsome. go back to mountains (quality mountain exposure), with the new lover, using your relatives’ united milage+ coupons whenever possible. take the stephanie step.
dear bottles,
maybe nyet.
early age at a public lyceum, abra started with pills with liquids and later on things came and gone in trays and cardboard boxes in that order. it was a faithful morning years later he woke up and said to himself “ i got to get the work†with 20 year of slack to pick up.
since then abra admires the people who can handle their drinking and don’t bust loose like a goat in a china shop. eheem.
but,
if you can manage to get out the asbestos at an early age (up to 40), you won’t build up a lot of slack for the top speed software. viola, you are twice the abra.
your friend.
dear abra,
I keep falling for guys who aren't half as ambitious as I am, even when I meet them at high priced success driven architecture schools! This drives me crazy because I love my little underachievers dearly, but our plans for life don't work out. Examples- I went to college, while he stayed in the shithole I grew up in. Now I want to live in big cities and do fun work, and (the latest) he wants to go back to his family, who live in a shithole very similar to the one I grew up in. My heart is broken, but I just couldn't live there with him. What's a girl to do?
dear rationalist,
some women are attracted to underachievers because they generally make loyal companions. this is ok to a certain point, but it is rare that further plans usually chime. you split the shithole a while ago. he is not moving in the same direction and you are holding on to some habit or a kindergarden story.
ideally, the girl must stick to herself and move on to eat the dish with mr. synchronicity himself.
you can also find an underachiever who is like a dynamo style- yes they do exist like that- but, most likely he’ll graze ‘your’ weed as much as you let him as an exchange for loyalty.
you are clearer about things to come. make sure homeboy leaves with his boxes if he bolts. your heart will mend back quick if you don’t get obsessive.
best is to go for a guy whose happy where he is at and attending to his show.
I recently purchased a perfectly nice house. But I have this compulsion that causes me to buy perfectly nice houses and immediately tear out all the perfectly nice floor finishes, cabinets, appliances, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, and even some walls, because I have a dream that I can make them better. Now instead of a perfectly nice house I have a shell that I couldn't even get homeowner's insurance on and is worth much less than I paid for it.
I'm sitting in the middle of a dusty mess and feeling very depressed. Can you cheer me up? (Because I'm certain you can't cure me of this sickness - it's chronic.)
dear chameleon,
if your friends get bored, offer them free tanning ‘studio’ passes. just to keep them out of your hair. try to use less of phrase “i/we used toâ€.
no, I don’t get bored. this thread is ok. i am interviewing some interns to take care some of the basic mail.
dear sawsall,
try lego for a while. or visit the nearest land fill for some spiritual awakening. buying a perfectly nice house is so ‘boring’. how could you do that? are you with us or against us? altough, buying homes and making empty lots out of them could be interesting entry to an untapped commerce.
dear abra,
at least you made me laugh a little! You did hit the nail right on the head though- loyalty is a BIG thing with me. Problem number two? All of my friends are 'our' friends, so I'm going to feel VERY lonely when this finally ends. I'm thinking of applying to some grad schools in the UK and/or Australia, joining the Peace Corps, or doing something else big and exciting enough to take my mind off it. Something I could never have done if I stayed with him, and will let me find people who are moving closer to my pace. Sound like a good plan, or just escapist disfunction?
the aliens returned last night. i did as you instructed. they laughed at me and called me a tease. apparently they have been watching my every move since the first abduction and are now seeking you out. i were you, i'd pull one of those vanishing acts or buy some good insurance. best of luck.
dear rationalist,
not to worry about the ‘our friends’. they’ll decide who is to keep. lonely? so be it for a while. be on your own. if you got the money and time, go overseas learn and live in another culture. australia has some beautiful open spaces and good architecture, even the taco stands in melbourne are dwell grade, so there is work there.
for the time being, take care what’s in front of you. what you are going through, happens on hourly basis all over the world. make sure you make a clean break so everybody is free to go on with the program.
don’t blame the boy for anything. he is doing what he has to, as well.
I know it is easier said than done, but it really is like this, a great many of time..
dear true patriot,
you must be one those few good men army is desperately seeking these days. I know there is usually yankee expatriate community in almost every country in the world, join them. if you are gonna be in baghdad by any chance, watch for your ass. they are particularly wild with fireworks.
people are spying on you is just a conspiracy theory. they are just sniffing your farts which smells like a rose to them.
dear slick,
bring’m on. if i don’t smoke their alien asses, i’ll tilt their flying circle 45 degrees with my crowbar so they land in south central shortly after take off for some transracial ding-dong.
the ship is going down! from the direction they suggest: it already went down..
here it is almost 40C degrees.must be about your 90F...
Pino, our movable conditioner, got back home after 1 week in a psyco hospital...it is working hard..but cant help that much!
Our neighbourhood is a crazy one: the front door 40 woman (?? we are not very sure she is a woman for real) has sex with a 70 man....
our kitchen window looks at a closed Corte
so we can go there and look in the houses of the neighbours...actually if we were crazy enough we could also jump in their houses!
in the order we have: 1)a 50 man and his girlfriend...
2) a gay...
they both keep wash dishes and walking completely naked in their apartments..
ok for the gay...at least he is a dancer..or he says so..
sad about the 50 man...i'll let you imagine his decadent ass!! when it happens we see it as the first thing in the morning..oh well..those days become crappy days!
then on the left side: an old woman who listens to Radio Maria for the entire day. if you want we can tell you the schedule of all of the Masses and Rosario..plus the pope's interventions for the next 2 months!
on the other side: a completely gone old man who comes up on his balcony once a day..he has noises and monsters in his head and, when out, he screams (in a wonderful and colorful florentine dialect) that these noises must stop..because he wants to sleep...and he going to call the police...
i wonder if sometimes his mind calms down!
and...DULCIS IN FUNDO: over the roof...the window of another house...but the only thing we can see from it..is a shelf..with a horrible...disgusting...kitsch... half woman body statue...
the death of all of our interior design theories!!
sometimes we go out..to rest from all of this stuff...we leave our computers and our drawings...take a walk under the tuscan sun!
but it doesnt help that much, especially when you meet that guy you really like with his new girlfriend!! like yesterday..
and you think..what the hell is that...the Murphy law?!?
just Sfiga..as we call it?? the "shit happens" theory?!
hey abra..do you think we have already dead and this is the hell?!?
your affectionate One architect and a half..(because my friend is still in school)!
dear heat vawe and a half,
as far as i am concerned you could be in lower east side shithole surrounded by the ventilators you picked from the trash, or, in a shitty neighborhood in roma., when mr.half returns from the school, pack your bags to further south where passolini is buried. for now, at least you got pino on your side and a fellini thing going with the neighbors, around the urban shithole you are in. density + heat make good steamy summers on the other side of the affairs, take advantage.
rumor is, the temperature switched to cooler levels in hell, with gentrification in-progress.
ps* thanks for the nice movie.
what's a good birthday gift for a five year old little girl? she will be moving to another country with her dad and brother, and her mom is going through chemo and will be joing them only a month later.
dear tyrrhena,
if you think she can pull it off, this little barbie poloroid camera would be perfect. she can take pictures to show her mom when she joins them. make sure you get one for her the brother too, if they are not the sharing types. my best wishes to mom as well. link
thanks, thanks, thanks! really good thinking on the potential sibling jealousy problem. dear abra, are you a psychologist? whom do you go to when you have a problem?
abra
what do i do for memorial day weekend??? its already friday afternoon and i have no plans yet. i do not want to go to any tourist places because of traffic etc...should i stay home watch formula 1 or should i sleep endlessly or then should i go hike in the mountains??
dear tyrrhena,
no I am no psychologist. sometimes I go to this guy
and his sister with my problems.
glad to be a help.
dear doc,
here is my 5 point plan for you;
1- go to a tourist place briefly and pick up a tourist.
2- wine and dine the tourist.
3- stay at home, and watch and sleep with the tourist.
4- go to mountain hike and show the tourist the fireworks.
5- monday afternoon, tell the tourist ‘thanks for the memories’ and get some rest.
*thanks 'e'. enjoy the booze and backyard this weekend you deserve it.
Can you please explain to me why sameolddoctor is making plans for memorial day weekend when it happened over a month ago? Many thanks. Happy Bastille Day (planning ahead).
dear abra,
thanks for the tips - the doctor abides!
i think i am so scatterbrained that i confuse independence day and memorial day. should i be whipped for messing up important american holidays? or should i just sit with my long lost friend johnny walker?
this sandra day oconnell things got me down. bushie will not get 2 places. got to get out of this country. is it ok if i drink myself silly tonight?
the concrete guy did show up today and didnt show yesterday. he is supposed to pour a walk for my house. he said the fuel pump in his truck went bad. when did they start using fuel pumps to shift concrete?
dear snjr,
as you might know, doc has a chronic sleep deprivation.i hope he doesn't confuse the tourist with his hohoho on july 4th. so i gave him a generic plan he can apply on a typical weekend.
i just think it is a sign of an imaginative man.
now 'e' is an entirely different story. he has got one plan mastered like a swiss watch.i bet you a dollar he is already in action.
who? me? i know not what you speak of. okay, you caught me. going out to by a smoker tomorrow for a good piece of lamb. gawd i love the baby sheep.
gots the bottles lined up too. a number of 750s, a couple of sixers, some 40s, and of course a bottle of JB. so far the line up includes >>
la chouffe >> artisanal beigian golden all brewed with spices
bottleworks IV anniversary >> a trappist style ale with figs and bananas
a couple sixers of bavik >> a nice belgian lager
some 40s of pbr >> to keep it real.
fantome de noel >> i know it's not christmas, but it will be a celebration.
bottleworks van den vern grand cru >> topping out at 9.8 abv
gouden carolus grand cru >> grand cru of the emperor
duchesse de bourgogne >> a nice sour ale matured in oak casks.
de dolle export stout >> a rich belgian style stout
big time's old wooly barleywine >> to end a fine evening with good friends.
well, that's about all i can mention here. happy, happy to all of you, and if you can help it, don't work this weekend.
throught the day i've been having dull then sharp pains inside my body below my right rib cage. do i have an ulcer after spending all weekend fretting over america's independence?
probably you briused a rib doing 4th rip and you don't even know it. ulcer is much more sinister stuff.
non off the shelf pain killer or two recommended with beer. minumum activity levels must be maintained until the pain eases or goes away in a couple o days.
most of my questions have been answered on this thread. with no desire to discover new answers, life will become meaningless, and i may starve to death over a course of days while pooping my pants on this one couch. what should i do now?
dear poops,
go ahead. limp and starve and poop on the couch. a meaningless life is where its at these days and it is advertised all over television and magazines. do you think the guy who drives a new SUV with at least three televisions inside the car, got a lot of meaning in his life? no. he only exists in the SUV and tv ad. anybody who dies on the couch thinking the world is shit, is a disappearing breed. anybody loking for a meaning in life should die a couch death.
think about this for a while..
dear abra,
me again. = ( So, I'm still living with this damnable man. When we talked, we agreed that we thought we could just let things ride out, have some fun while it lasts, right? Well, now I'm not so sure that's working. I cry a lot when I think about him. as of we'd already broken up. I've got an opportunity to move in w/ a friend (I think, if she'll still have me), but she needs to know 'yes', or 'no', like NOW, where my comfort would maybe have me staying with the man for another week or two, to see whether things get better. I'm definitely between a rock and a hard place here. So should I let the relationship play out to my satisfaction, or jump at an opportunity that's come a little sooner than I'd like? On top of this, since I'll be moving into a smaller place, and he'd keep the big place we have now, prolly, he'll most likely keep most of the furniture, which I paid half for, but I know he doesn't have the money to buy out my half right now, which would make moving out financially VERY hard, maybe impossible. Help me, oh wise abra.
dear a-list,
you are not riding it out. you are fighting it out. proceed with the plan. move out. I would really recommend a place of your own if you could, with very little furniture, rationalist=minimalist.
if the things should get better between you and the damn roger, that will happen after you move out. if you don’t stop crying, you will make it hard for the roommate as well. relationships have a life of their own and they don’t listen to anyone.
Dear Abra,
I feel horrible, I have a sore throat, swollen glands, headache, stuffy and runny nose both, and an earache plus headache. Can allergies really get this bad, why? I don't know what to do with myself besides slam some ibuprofen and passion fruit juice, lie down and suck some cough drops to Days of Our Lives.
dear allegra,
a none off the shelf pain killer or two recommended with a can o beer..
sounds like a virus. if its this bad, it can only get better. go home and crash.
yup, abra's the best. Can you come kick his ass for me, abra? Unfortunately, on my own is not an option. I probably won't even get my own bedroom, but will hopefully get to live with some fun people who will help take my mind off things, and give me space to work on my portfolio.
Thx. ab. Although, I think you may just be in the business of telling me what I need/want to hear, but that's ok. Sometime's support is better than advice. Helps give you the guts to do some of the harder things in life.
My girlfriend's best-friend's cousin reported me as a 'Missing Person' to the police and now no one ackowledges my presence when I enter a room. What am I to do?
dear nonti,
stop being a salad.
you have a common problem with architects, caused by excessive paper space traveling, thus 'never there' syndrom.
start a new identity.
next time you enter the room, tell’ em you are PERcorel and 3D is your middle name. this will guarantee to make you appear like an axonometric being. keep the police count you ‘still missing in person’ for future references and inquiries.
dear beasty boy,
you have a common problem with architects,
caused by not knowing how to swaaay the woody. stop rocking the work environment and try to hatch your pockets solid, so the meandering piece of crown molding does not creep up on you on the wrong time and in the wrong place like pingpong ball. if the piece still cannot be contained, change the industry you are in. I once worked in an office where many people ‘rocked on’ all they long in front of their drawings, compromising the health, welfare and the safety of the public.
dear abra: my girlfriend is taking a job in a city reknown for reallt bad architecture. She's afraid to ask me, but i know she wants to take the job, and for me to join her. How do I make the city in the next Bilbao before we get married??
dear techno,
before i release a bilbao scale make over, i need to know which city we are talking about and how soon you are planning to get married.
a general suggestion would be to use sustainable materials and apply per correll’s 3DH honeycomb technic to any physical change you might bring into the bilbao wanna be. watch for the river bends if any..
dear snjr,
it is depressing to wake up to the news to london bombings. specially when i saw, the people cheering the olympic bid there, on the front page of la times this morning. the world is changing on hourly bases.
on 9/11, i went to the nursery and planted bunch of plants in the garden. twin papyrus plants are tallest in the garden now.
last mounth prince charles opened the new british consulate in istanbul that was bombed two years ago.
get well.
i'm living in a bubble. while i once had a social life, i am now spending a disturbing amount of my time watching dvds from netflix, bad reality tv and being bored witless. at 21 i already have friends who are getting married, and more who are moving off to more interesting places leaving me in near solitude. i've always been okay with hanging alone, but now it's really wearing me down since it's become commonplace. how do i recapture something that resembles a life? how do i find a lovely intelligent boy, who isn't a pretentious LA hipster obsessed with his hair, expensive jeans and scene clubs? where do the young intelligent los angelinos hang out? or is that an oxymoron?
acrabadraparaba;
please, what achilles elbow have terroists? what hide they so precious?
oil gone- erabs low, low, low living nice. what want they- all world islam. we see past- number one citizen islam- arab islam, number two citizen isalm- non arab isalm, number 3 citizen isalm- non arab & non islam, number 4 citizen islam- slave (yes, right me). you no arab, you not in islam. verifry no how this see mind you.
Dear Abra
dear abra,
last night i was abducted by aliens. it was a real thrill. i want them to take me back to their planet and worship me like a god but the anal probe thingie hurt quite a bit. how should i send a signal to let them know my wishes and how can i say nicely no more orifice exploration?
bests,
intergalactic traveler
dear aucch,
listen to doc. it won’t hurt much at all. get the shot even though chances are big that the scrape will not cause an amputation. it happen to plumbers a lot, and they cover it with tobacco from a cigarette butt (an ‘under rated’ use of tobacco) as an immediate cure..
don’t be afraid of rusty pipes, just watch your step. get well soon.
dear intergalactic tourist,
aucch again. those alien gangs can hurt you like they did. if you must, the best way to deal with them is to abductship them in individual basis and eliminate the rusty pipe types. them aliens, you can’t trust them anymore. next time they want to take you to their planet ask them if they are licenced as a group. get well soon.
DEAR ABRA,
i went on a date with a dude and found out he was a drafter. after a good amount of shop talk i decided that i kind of liked him. but he is not returning my phone calls. i tried to hide my inner snob but i fear i scared him off with my fancy architecture talk. really i was just happy to be socializing with a non-married male. what should i do?
thanks in advance!
stephanie
dear abra
your wealth of wisdom has been oh so helpful. of most help has been my daily consumption of a bottle of JB. i know you did say drink a bottle a day, but you know what they say about the apple and the doctor.
my question to you is how does one become so wise and what can i do to become as wise as you? drink two bottles a day?
as always, thanks for your help.
your friend,
e
dear steph,
follow your inner snob. in time it grows to be a delicious reference, if, humbly tamed and trained..
when and if the ‘rafter’ calls back and tell him that you ‘deleted’ him(assuming he responds to acad lingo well). you are probably right about incompetibility angle.
you seem like a misplaced person at where you are.. get your ass to nyc or something, where, fancy architecture lovers are abundant and bachelor and handsome. go back to mountains (quality mountain exposure), with the new lover, using your relatives’ united milage+ coupons whenever possible. take the stephanie step.
dear bottles,
maybe nyet.
early age at a public lyceum, abra started with pills with liquids and later on things came and gone in trays and cardboard boxes in that order. it was a faithful morning years later he woke up and said to himself “ i got to get the work†with 20 year of slack to pick up.
since then abra admires the people who can handle their drinking and don’t bust loose like a goat in a china shop. eheem.
but,
if you can manage to get out the asbestos at an early age (up to 40), you won’t build up a lot of slack for the top speed software. viola, you are twice the abra.
your friend.
dear abra,
I keep falling for guys who aren't half as ambitious as I am, even when I meet them at high priced success driven architecture schools! This drives me crazy because I love my little underachievers dearly, but our plans for life don't work out. Examples- I went to college, while he stayed in the shithole I grew up in. Now I want to live in big cities and do fun work, and (the latest) he wants to go back to his family, who live in a shithole very similar to the one I grew up in. My heart is broken, but I just couldn't live there with him. What's a girl to do?
dear rationalist,
some women are attracted to underachievers because they generally make loyal companions. this is ok to a certain point, but it is rare that further plans usually chime. you split the shithole a while ago. he is not moving in the same direction and you are holding on to some habit or a kindergarden story.
ideally, the girl must stick to herself and move on to eat the dish with mr. synchronicity himself.
you can also find an underachiever who is like a dynamo style- yes they do exist like that- but, most likely he’ll graze ‘your’ weed as much as you let him as an exchange for loyalty.
you are clearer about things to come. make sure homeboy leaves with his boxes if he bolts. your heart will mend back quick if you don’t get obsessive.
best is to go for a guy whose happy where he is at and attending to his show.
oh my rationalist i really wonder what you are gonna do?
dear abra,
i feel nostalgic and restless when talking to my old friends. do you think my restlessness wud bore them?
and
o dear abra,
don`t you get bored answering all these?
Dear abra:
I recently purchased a perfectly nice house. But I have this compulsion that causes me to buy perfectly nice houses and immediately tear out all the perfectly nice floor finishes, cabinets, appliances, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, and even some walls, because I have a dream that I can make them better. Now instead of a perfectly nice house I have a shell that I couldn't even get homeowner's insurance on and is worth much less than I paid for it.
I'm sitting in the middle of a dusty mess and feeling very depressed. Can you cheer me up? (Because I'm certain you can't cure me of this sickness - it's chronic.)
Thanks,
idea-rich-but-house-poor
dear chameleon,
if your friends get bored, offer them free tanning ‘studio’ passes. just to keep them out of your hair. try to use less of phrase “i/we used toâ€.
no, I don’t get bored. this thread is ok. i am interviewing some interns to take care some of the basic mail.
dear sawsall,
try lego for a while. or visit the nearest land fill for some spiritual awakening. buying a perfectly nice house is so ‘boring’. how could you do that? are you with us or against us? altough, buying homes and making empty lots out of them could be interesting entry to an untapped commerce.
dear abra,
at least you made me laugh a little! You did hit the nail right on the head though- loyalty is a BIG thing with me. Problem number two? All of my friends are 'our' friends, so I'm going to feel VERY lonely when this finally ends. I'm thinking of applying to some grad schools in the UK and/or Australia, joining the Peace Corps, or doing something else big and exciting enough to take my mind off it. Something I could never have done if I stayed with him, and will let me find people who are moving closer to my pace. Sound like a good plan, or just escapist disfunction?
dear abra,
I will be spending Independence Day outside of the borders of my beloved nation. How am I to properly celebrate this holiday?
On another note. I also think my co-workers are spying on me. What should I do?
dear abra,
the aliens returned last night. i did as you instructed. they laughed at me and called me a tease. apparently they have been watching my every move since the first abduction and are now seeking you out. i were you, i'd pull one of those vanishing acts or buy some good insurance. best of luck.
slick rick
dear rationalist,
not to worry about the ‘our friends’. they’ll decide who is to keep. lonely? so be it for a while. be on your own. if you got the money and time, go overseas learn and live in another culture. australia has some beautiful open spaces and good architecture, even the taco stands in melbourne are dwell grade, so there is work there.
for the time being, take care what’s in front of you. what you are going through, happens on hourly basis all over the world. make sure you make a clean break so everybody is free to go on with the program.
don’t blame the boy for anything. he is doing what he has to, as well.
I know it is easier said than done, but it really is like this, a great many of time..
dear true patriot,
you must be one those few good men army is desperately seeking these days. I know there is usually yankee expatriate community in almost every country in the world, join them. if you are gonna be in baghdad by any chance, watch for your ass. they are particularly wild with fireworks.
people are spying on you is just a conspiracy theory. they are just sniffing your farts which smells like a rose to them.
dear slick,
bring’m on. if i don’t smoke their alien asses, i’ll tilt their flying circle 45 degrees with my crowbar so they land in south central shortly after take off for some transracial ding-dong.
dear abra
the ship is going down! from the direction they suggest: it already went down..
here it is almost 40C degrees.must be about your 90F...
Pino, our movable conditioner, got back home after 1 week in a psyco hospital...it is working hard..but cant help that much!
Our neighbourhood is a crazy one: the front door 40 woman (?? we are not very sure she is a woman for real) has sex with a 70 man....
our kitchen window looks at a closed Corte
so we can go there and look in the houses of the neighbours...actually if we were crazy enough we could also jump in their houses!
in the order we have: 1)a 50 man and his girlfriend...
2) a gay...
they both keep wash dishes and walking completely naked in their apartments..
ok for the gay...at least he is a dancer..or he says so..
sad about the 50 man...i'll let you imagine his decadent ass!! when it happens we see it as the first thing in the morning..oh well..those days become crappy days!
then on the left side: an old woman who listens to Radio Maria for the entire day. if you want we can tell you the schedule of all of the Masses and Rosario..plus the pope's interventions for the next 2 months!
on the other side: a completely gone old man who comes up on his balcony once a day..he has noises and monsters in his head and, when out, he screams (in a wonderful and colorful florentine dialect) that these noises must stop..because he wants to sleep...and he going to call the police...
i wonder if sometimes his mind calms down!
and...DULCIS IN FUNDO: over the roof...the window of another house...but the only thing we can see from it..is a shelf..with a horrible...disgusting...kitsch... half woman body statue...
the death of all of our interior design theories!!
sometimes we go out..to rest from all of this stuff...we leave our computers and our drawings...take a walk under the tuscan sun!
but it doesnt help that much, especially when you meet that guy you really like with his new girlfriend!! like yesterday..
and you think..what the hell is that...the Murphy law?!?
just Sfiga..as we call it?? the "shit happens" theory?!
hey abra..do you think we have already dead and this is the hell?!?
your affectionate One architect and a half..(because my friend is still in school)!
dear heat vawe and a half,
as far as i am concerned you could be in lower east side shithole surrounded by the ventilators you picked from the trash, or, in a shitty neighborhood in roma., when mr.half returns from the school, pack your bags to further south where passolini is buried. for now, at least you got pino on your side and a fellini thing going with the neighbors, around the urban shithole you are in. density + heat make good steamy summers on the other side of the affairs, take advantage.
rumor is, the temperature switched to cooler levels in hell, with gentrification in-progress.
ps* thanks for the nice movie.
dear abra
what's a good birthday gift for a five year old little girl? she will be moving to another country with her dad and brother, and her mom is going through chemo and will be joing them only a month later.
best, tyrrhena
dear tyrrhena,
if you think she can pull it off, this little barbie poloroid camera would be perfect. she can take pictures to show her mom when she joins them. make sure you get one for her the brother too, if they are not the sharing types. my best wishes to mom as well.
link
thanks, thanks, thanks! really good thinking on the potential sibling jealousy problem. dear abra, are you a psychologist? whom do you go to when you have a problem?
abra
what do i do for memorial day weekend??? its already friday afternoon and i have no plans yet. i do not want to go to any tourist places because of traffic etc...should i stay home watch formula 1 or should i sleep endlessly or then should i go hike in the mountains??
aw, abra. now wasn't that the sweetest answer for tyrrhena.
dear tyrrhena,
no I am no psychologist. sometimes I go to this
guy
and his sister with my problems.
glad to be a help.
dear doc,
here is my 5 point plan for you;
1- go to a tourist place briefly and pick up a tourist.
2- wine and dine the tourist.
3- stay at home, and watch and sleep with the tourist.
4- go to mountain hike and show the tourist the fireworks.
5- monday afternoon, tell the tourist ‘thanks for the memories’ and get some rest.
*thanks 'e'. enjoy the booze and backyard this weekend you deserve it.
dear abra--
Can you please explain to me why sameolddoctor is making plans for memorial day weekend when it happened over a month ago? Many thanks. Happy Bastille Day (planning ahead).
dear abra,
thanks for the tips - the doctor abides!
i think i am so scatterbrained that i confuse independence day and memorial day. should i be whipped for messing up important american holidays? or should i just sit with my long lost friend johnny walker?
dear abra;
this sandra day oconnell things got me down. bushie will not get 2 places. got to get out of this country. is it ok if i drink myself silly tonight?
the concrete guy did show up today and didnt show yesterday. he is supposed to pour a walk for my house. he said the fuel pump in his truck went bad. when did they start using fuel pumps to shift concrete?
best- T
dear snjr,
as you might know, doc has a chronic sleep deprivation.i hope he doesn't confuse the tourist with his hohoho on july 4th. so i gave him a generic plan he can apply on a typical weekend.
i just think it is a sign of an imaginative man.
now 'e' is an entirely different story. he has got one plan mastered like a swiss watch.i bet you a dollar he is already in action.
who? me? i know not what you speak of. okay, you caught me. going out to by a smoker tomorrow for a good piece of lamb. gawd i love the baby sheep.
gots the bottles lined up too. a number of 750s, a couple of sixers, some 40s, and of course a bottle of JB. so far the line up includes >>
la chouffe >> artisanal beigian golden all brewed with spices
bottleworks IV anniversary >> a trappist style ale with figs and bananas
a couple sixers of bavik >> a nice belgian lager
some 40s of pbr >> to keep it real.
fantome de noel >> i know it's not christmas, but it will be a celebration.
bottleworks van den vern grand cru >> topping out at 9.8 abv
gouden carolus grand cru >> grand cru of the emperor
duchesse de bourgogne >> a nice sour ale matured in oak casks.
de dolle export stout >> a rich belgian style stout
big time's old wooly barleywine >> to end a fine evening with good friends.
well, that's about all i can mention here. happy, happy to all of you, and if you can help it, don't work this weekend.
DEAR ABRA,
throught the day i've been having dull then sharp pains inside my body below my right rib cage. do i have an ulcer after spending all weekend fretting over america's independence?
waiting in pain,
stephanie
probably you briused a rib doing 4th rip and you don't even know it. ulcer is much more sinister stuff.
non off the shelf pain killer or two recommended with beer. minumum activity levels must be maintained until the pain eases or goes away in a couple o days.
dear abra
most of my questions have been answered on this thread. with no desire to discover new answers, life will become meaningless, and i may starve to death over a course of days while pooping my pants on this one couch. what should i do now?
in need in never never land
dear poops,
go ahead. limp and starve and poop on the couch. a meaningless life is where its at these days and it is advertised all over television and magazines. do you think the guy who drives a new SUV with at least three televisions inside the car, got a lot of meaning in his life? no. he only exists in the SUV and tv ad. anybody who dies on the couch thinking the world is shit, is a disappearing breed. anybody loking for a meaning in life should die a couch death.
think about this for a while..
wow abra you rock, man!
dear abra,
me again. = ( So, I'm still living with this damnable man. When we talked, we agreed that we thought we could just let things ride out, have some fun while it lasts, right? Well, now I'm not so sure that's working. I cry a lot when I think about him. as of we'd already broken up. I've got an opportunity to move in w/ a friend (I think, if she'll still have me), but she needs to know 'yes', or 'no', like NOW, where my comfort would maybe have me staying with the man for another week or two, to see whether things get better. I'm definitely between a rock and a hard place here. So should I let the relationship play out to my satisfaction, or jump at an opportunity that's come a little sooner than I'd like? On top of this, since I'll be moving into a smaller place, and he'd keep the big place we have now, prolly, he'll most likely keep most of the furniture, which I paid half for, but I know he doesn't have the money to buy out my half right now, which would make moving out financially VERY hard, maybe impossible. Help me, oh wise abra.
dear a-list,
you are not riding it out. you are fighting it out. proceed with the plan. move out. I would really recommend a place of your own if you could, with very little furniture, rationalist=minimalist.
if the things should get better between you and the damn roger, that will happen after you move out. if you don’t stop crying, you will make it hard for the roommate as well. relationships have a life of their own and they don’t listen to anyone.
Dear Abra,
I feel horrible, I have a sore throat, swollen glands, headache, stuffy and runny nose both, and an earache plus headache. Can allergies really get this bad, why? I don't know what to do with myself besides slam some ibuprofen and passion fruit juice, lie down and suck some cough drops to Days of Our Lives.
Can't Breathe
dear allegra,
a none off the shelf pain killer or two recommended with a can o beer..
sounds like a virus. if its this bad, it can only get better. go home and crash.
HAIL MESSIAH!
you are the wisest sage there ever was.
yup, abra's the best. Can you come kick his ass for me, abra? Unfortunately, on my own is not an option. I probably won't even get my own bedroom, but will hopefully get to live with some fun people who will help take my mind off things, and give me space to work on my portfolio.
Thx. ab. Although, I think you may just be in the business of telling me what I need/want to hear, but that's ok. Sometime's support is better than advice. Helps give you the guts to do some of the harder things in life.
Dear Abra,
My girlfriend's best-friend's cousin reported me as a 'Missing Person' to the police and now no one ackowledges my presence when I enter a room. What am I to do?
Know where am I to be found?
Dear Abra,
Me coworkers stand while looking cause me pants always jammin with wood. Tellya beast is kept caged but they dont like me rockn da office.
Bigup goin out to ya Abra, tell dem relax.
dear nonti,
stop being a salad.
you have a common problem with architects, caused by excessive paper space traveling, thus 'never there' syndrom.
start a new identity.
next time you enter the room, tell’ em you are PERcorel and 3D is your middle name. this will guarantee to make you appear like an axonometric being. keep the police count you ‘still missing in person’ for future references and inquiries.
dear beasty boy,
you have a common problem with architects,
caused by not knowing how to swaaay the woody. stop rocking the work environment and try to hatch your pockets solid, so the meandering piece of crown molding does not creep up on you on the wrong time and in the wrong place like pingpong ball. if the piece still cannot be contained, change the industry you are in. I once worked in an office where many people ‘rocked on’ all they long in front of their drawings, compromising the health, welfare and the safety of the public.
dear abra,
where's a girl architect gotta go to find a boytoy interested in smart but weird girls? he has to like photography, art and bullshit.
#1. it sure as hell ain't the oc.
help!
I thought 'honeycomb' was Per's middle name...
dear abra: my girlfriend is taking a job in a city reknown for reallt bad architecture. She's afraid to ask me, but i know she wants to take the job, and for me to join her. How do I make the city in the next Bilbao before we get married??
Dear Abra,
I am so depressed.
dear techno,
before i release a bilbao scale make over, i need to know which city we are talking about and how soon you are planning to get married.
a general suggestion would be to use sustainable materials and apply per correll’s 3DH honeycomb technic to any physical change you might bring into the bilbao wanna be. watch for the river bends if any..
dear snjr,
it is depressing to wake up to the news to london bombings. specially when i saw, the people cheering the olympic bid there, on the front page of la times this morning. the world is changing on hourly bases.
on 9/11, i went to the nursery and planted bunch of plants in the garden. twin papyrus plants are tallest in the garden now.
last mounth prince charles opened the new british consulate in istanbul that was bombed two years ago.
get well.
dear abra,
i'm living in a bubble. while i once had a social life, i am now spending a disturbing amount of my time watching dvds from netflix, bad reality tv and being bored witless. at 21 i already have friends who are getting married, and more who are moving off to more interesting places leaving me in near solitude. i've always been okay with hanging alone, but now it's really wearing me down since it's become commonplace. how do i recapture something that resembles a life? how do i find a lovely intelligent boy, who isn't a pretentious LA hipster obsessed with his hair, expensive jeans and scene clubs? where do the young intelligent los angelinos hang out? or is that an oxymoron?
dear morningbell,
we're all writing to abra, too! (young intelligent los angelino, not lovely boy, sorry)
acrabadraparaba;
please, what achilles elbow have terroists? what hide they so precious?
oil gone- erabs low, low, low living nice. what want they- all world islam. we see past- number one citizen islam- arab islam, number two citizen isalm- non arab isalm, number 3 citizen isalm- non arab & non islam, number 4 citizen islam- slave (yes, right me). you no arab, you not in islam. verifry no how this see mind you.
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