City College of New York (Paul)



Jan '09 - May '10

  • anchor

    No Time

    By PaulAM
    May 30, '10 12:47 AM EST

    Time. Time above all was the reason for going to school. Time to learn in depth. Time to read big books and ponderous journal articles and pretend I understood them. Time to write my own ponderous essays. Time to write my own trite diary entries. Time to write my own really bad poems. And maybe a blog. And maybe for the school architectural journal. And the list could be endless, right?

    Time mostly for serious designing. Designing things to death. No. Overdesigning things to death. Time to research history, site, theory. Time to linger on a design. Time to develop a presentation that Wows!!!

    Well I exaggerate. Of course, it was not expected that there would be endless time. But I expected a reasonable amount of time.

    What a crock of fecal matter that turned out to be.

    Two years of architecture school. It seems like two months. It was painful. Some people succeeded, some failed, and some, myself included, merely passed. It was really painful watching those people who failed. It was really painful almost failing a few times myself. There will be more than a few ‘dead men and women walking’ in Fall of 2010. It will not be pretty. I wonder if it would be too cruel to start a ‘most likely to be executed’ betting pool? Of course I am not serious. When you live in hell, you have to joke about it. Really wish I could help those condemned to the eternal damnation of failure at architecture school. But I am running for my life from demons. The poor souls are on their own. Sorry.

    I learned next to nothing new and my existing knowledge base barely got me by. Everything was rush, rush, rush. Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag. And the bag always burst. Quantity not quality. You were quick or you are dead. I was just quick enough to not be dead. Do not really feel alive though. Design had to be superficial or I failed. It was awful. Everything was short cut. My design work was mediocre.

    But I will assume going to school is necessary. And that Thesis and a year of graduate school will be better than third and fourth years. That is a desperate hypothesis. Ah, well, all hypotheses either have a very low or unknown probability of being true.

    Was it all my fault? Or were the time constraints truly unreasonable?

    I enjoyed my philosophy classes.

    • 1 Comment

    • WOW!!!

      i suppose i could tell you to keep your head up, just keep going, and all of that. but i won't (or shouldn't?) but i think you have a good sense of humor about all of 'it'. and that's the main thing, i think.

      good luck.

      Jun 2, 10 1:52 am

      Block this user

      Are you sure you want to block this user and hide all related comments throughout the site?

    • Back to Entry List...
  • ×Search in:

Affiliated with:

Authored by:

  • PaulAM

Other blogs affiliated with City College of New York (CCNY):

Recent Entries