on behalf of Olaf Design Ninja

interviews with random thoughts and assemblies of experiences

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    Interview: August 13 , 2013, 10:02am

    By Olaf Design Ninja_
    Jul 3, '14 11:52 PM EST

    Monmouth County, New Jersey, USA

    “My man Olaf, what is happening?  What’s with the curvilinear resilient flooring and Johnsonite extravaganza  going on out there in the new lobby?” – Chris


    “Pure Bullshit! Plastic accommodating all the imaginary needs of human delusional desires…Plastic!” – Olaf

    “Lay off the sensitivity my friend!  Not everyone has a Seagrams budget you know.  By the way, did you know the NYC tax commission took the Seagrams owners to court to get more money out of what amounted to essentially a lawsuit over the material choices?” – Chris

    “I was a courier at a Neo-traditional architecture firm in New York City at the time, right after they completed construction of that building and delivered drawings often there.  That building is New York City and all the Costas Kondylis thereafter.  Don’t distract me, what is your point?” – Olaf

    “Mr. crazy man, when did Costas Kondylis become an adjective? I went to a party after our last interview, a rave, entered a Jacuzzi time machine and ended up in the 90’s in a warehouse with booming TB-303 acid sounds like those of Scott Grooves and Phuture 303?…just throwing bass at the wall, trying to break on through to the other side…words to my wedding party intro – The Doors – Break on through” – Chris

    Ach, wahnsinn… unendlich (insanity unending)… Ami mit Kaugummi in mund (this American  speaks with bubble gum in his mouth when speaking German)…

    Parti!  This is the only word I understood, Parti! Do you know what a Parti is in Architecture?!?” – Olaf

    “Wait, old man, I’m going to be dumb and use my smart phone, hold on, almost there…dictionary dot com - parti is the basic scheme or concept of an architectural design.  Boom!” – Chris

    “Ok, we talk façade parti.  You my friend are a façade, a façade of neo-liberal late capitalism coagulating in a Facebook aura and other insanity justified by our exaggerated interest in our own desired existence equalized as pseudo-matter in the form of virtual capital...mumble mummble...kaugummi in mund....” – Olaf

    “You are too old to know anything about Facebook and I will tell you I worked under a great façade parti master at my short corporate gig, years ago.  The façade parti elements are pretty basic:  you have glass and a frame, pre-cast concrete and a structural steel frame, and possibly PTAC’s and other mechanical equipment through grills integrated into the proportional panels - proportional divisions, shifted, moved, switched, mirrored and so on.” – Chris

    “Golden mean, Fibonacci….are you too young and stupid to be familiar with these basics for organizing a parti?” – Olaf

    “Listen old fart I know all about the rabbit re-procreation process best described by the Fibonacci sequence, Corbusier’s obsession with the modular, and the Golden mean in Greek architecture.  This is all basic autonomous autopoiesis parametric stuff! Pre-Grasshopper (David Rutten) and REVIT.   Us kids are so much cooler and projective than you old farts, we take your simple theories of beauty and file them with all the other bullshit we know can be described by proportions in the form of algorithms and scripts.” – Chris

    “What the hell is autopoiesis?” – Olaf

    “Of little importance, some guy name Schumacher came up with this supposed full-fledged architectural theory and dropped it on us like religion.” – Chris

    “A shoe maker, a shoe maker is demanding a derivation of the Golden Mean to be adapted as truth to all species?  More insanity!  Let’s get back to the façade Parti. ” – Olaf

    I whipped out my cell phone, googled my blog from in the future and went from Berlin to Chicago to  New York to Pittsburgh showing the action facing the street.

    “I'm hungry, let’s get a taco.” – Olaf

    Bundespressekonferenz - Berlin by Nalbach + Nalbach Architekten


    Charlottenstraße 77 + 78 - Berlin by Nalbach + Nalbach Architekten (the colors reflected in the glass are from the Aldo Rossi building across the street)

    860–880 Lake Shore Drive Apartments by Mies van der Rohe (façade parti by blinds)


    505 N Lake Shore Drive Lake Point Tower by Schipporeit and Heinrich (more blind façade partis)

    The Solaire - New York City by Pelli Clarke Pelli

    The Porter House - New York City by SHOP Architects

    Studio Gang Parti - this a Parti?  Chicago and the balcony see next

    No clue, was on a river boat, lots of balconies....Apologize for not knowing or finding it via The Google...Chicago and balconies - the Sky deck on the Sears Tower or whatever they want us  to call it now.  You can buy the name but you can not purchase my memory, well until it's completely dependent on Googling!

    Parking Garage façade near the river in Pittsburgh, Pa


    United Steelworkers Union - façade parti as structure - by Curtis and Davis


    (the photos are true, based on real events and some fiction)


    Key Bibliography/Links

    "The Essential Seagram" by McClain Clutter,(Non-) Essential Knowledge for (New) Architecture, 306090 15, David L. Hays, editor  September 2013

    "Notes Around the Doppler Effect and other Moods of Modernism" by Robert Somol and Sarah Whiting, Perspecta 33 (2002)

    "Design Intelligence Part 1: Introduction" by Michael Speaks, A+U (2002), p 10-18

    (both essays above also found in "Constructing a New Agenda: Architectural Theory 1993-2009", A. Krista Sykes, editor



    * Photo of actual flooring at a recently opened dental office in Monmouth County, NJ...your blogger and his wife had wine and cake on a stick a few weeks ago, one senator and one congressman were present, but the guy who picked up his mother in the Maserati impressed me...probably the contractor)

    **All photos by Chris Teeter and since he doesn't believe in intellectual property (although he respects this religious view) you can make post cards out of these photos or whatever - T-shirts.... He doesn't care, send him a card with a  note thanking him for farting in the wind and YOU working so hard on making his ideas a reality for yourself - hopefully a profitable one.


    • Olaf Design Ninja_

      Hard taco or soft taco?

      Jul 8, 14 6:57 am
      Olaf Design Ninja_

      Stay tuned stay tuned....see olafs last line...

      Jul 8, 14 6:18 pm

      You can buy the name but you can not purchase my memory, well until it's completely dependent on Googling!

      Bravo for this. And the whole damn thing.

      Jul 14, 14 8:16 am

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About this Blog

The following blogs are Interviews performed in the years of 13/14 with a man full of random thoughts and legendary type of architectural experiences. Olaf is his real first name. I knew his son Tom from my studies at University of Kansas and randomly ran into Tom in 2012 in NYC. We reminisced about all the great stories Tom had told me about his immigrant architect father. Given my boredom with the profession I requested an interview with this now insane man. Archifiction.

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  • Olaf Design Ninja_

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