Female Client  "I heard Architects do it all night long, is there any truth to that saying?"

"WOW! Are all architects hung like a horse?!"

clent   "YOU know i always DREAMED of being an architect"

me   "oh ...kay"

^ LOL, as they spend all your time changing the design, imagining they that have a clue about what they are doing.

I once had a client who wanted $20,000 worth of appliances and high end finishes in a 50 sf Manhattan kitchen ask if I knew any "amigos" who could do the work for cheap.

"I'm going to have my Feng Shui expert review the plans."

at the start of construction "your job is finished here"

Client:  "I have a Better Idea."  I hate when that happens and it is really a "Bad Idea."

Client:  "What Engineering School did you go to?"

lol @ eric and the "I always wanted to be an architect."  That is so common it's annoying.  So they try to be like Miles said.  Then wonder how on earth your fee's got so high... um... redesign, redesign, redesign because you micro-managed me....

We should have listened to what you said.

C: No, I did not said that...

A: But, it's on the meeting minutes...

C: You must have heard it wrong...

C: Let us hear on my wife opinion, she's a housewife but expert in Interior Design...

A: ...... (cold sweat)

"I need a kitchen sink here. Then I need a sink for rinsing dirty dishes before I put them in the dishwasher. And I need a Kosher sink, and one for preparing the dog's food."

TDT, that's why i love email.  clients can't say 'no, i did not say thay,' they have to phrase it a bit more vague to leave open the possibility they're going to be forwarded the email they sent 2 months ago, which informed every decision made sine.

"You want to come to our Summer Party?  Everyone on the Lake will be there. "  I 'm sorry I spend the 4th of July with Family in  Ohio...or Kansas...or Nebraska...or North Dakota.

Gruen, a line is a 2 dimensional drawing. A one dimensional drawing would be a single point.

A line has one dimension: length. 

Had a call today:  I would like a garage with two stories and an apartment above.  First Story drive out basement, Second Story  at  grade on opposite side, with an in law apartment  above.  I can's seem to find any garage plans on line with this kind of configuration.  What would you charge me to do the project?  Would it cost me anymore than purchasing plans on line?  I called a couple of other people one was a structural engineer.  .....He said I'm not and Architect (and passed along my name.)

Client calling about potential project:  "I was wondering if you had the Occulus Virtual Glasses?   I think it might help me visualize what my garden shed  is going to look like.  I tell potential client  those are still in design development stage, and she should really consider buying a set of  Leggo's and build a model.   End of conversation.

maybe he meant "one point perspective" rendering

When do you need it?

"yesterday"

I'm a talented guy but time travel is a weakness of mine.  How about next Friday?

"I guess"