sh*t clients say

Mar 11 '14 73 Last Comment
Mar 11, 14 2:03 pm

"Can you do some one dimensional renderings of that?"

"you mean 3 dimensional?"

"no, one dimensional"


Saint in the City
Mar 11, 14 2:45 pm

Could you post that one dimensionsal rendering when finished?

Sounds like a technique I'd like to learn...

Mar 11, 14 3:11 pm

sounds like he's trying to refer to a rendered elevation to me... 

Mar 11, 14 3:18 pm

an elevation would be 2-dimensional.

one dimensional would be a line.

for more information on dimensions and a picture of a book that might not be a book, you can refer to this thread that was an spin-off from too much trolling in thread central:

Mar 11, 14 3:39 pm

Not just clients, but the world at large using the term "blueprints" to mean any and all kinds of architectural drawing makes me a little crazy.  Just say "drawings"!

Mar 11, 14 3:41 pm

same with "skyscrapers" over highrises. Its just social lingo.

Mar 11, 14 3:43 pm

here's the one dimensional rendering:



Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 11, 14 3:49 pm

How much do you charge for that?

Mar 11, 14 3:57 pm

What scale is that line?

Mar 11, 14 4:01 pm

shit contractors say:

"I like it, we'll just have to fancy it up a bit"

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 11, 14 4:35 pm

"I'm going to buy my own appliances, so you're not going to get a fee on that."

Mar 11, 14 4:40 pm

Looks good, but do you have some different 'clip art' that you can use? (client referring to furniture layouts on a floor plan)

Mar 11, 14 4:42 pm

Miles, i know that elevations are 2d. i'm just saying that the client sounds like he is TRYING to refer to a rendered elevation. 

Saint in the City
Mar 11, 14 4:47 pm

I'd have thought clients would have stopped saying this a long time ago, but this one still annoys me:  "Heh heh heh -- just remember, we want a Chevy, not a Cadillac...  heh heh" .

I like to smile and say, "Ya know, your budget more aligns with a used Saturn."

Olaf Design Ninja_
Mar 11, 14 5:32 pm

I need this yesterday or even last week. ------ I have been your client for years, I don't understand why you are being so difficult about payments-------- I just want drawings, we don't need to file it.-----

Mar 11, 14 5:47 pm

"I would like something "Modern" like a split level raised ranch."

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 11, 14 6:59 pm

"Can you make the cabinets for less than Home Depot?"

Mar 11, 14 8:22 pm

Can you do permit drawings (for this plan I found online) for less than I can buy it online? Why would I hire you if I bought it online?

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 11, 14 9:01 pm

During months of fee negotiations on a house project for the owner of seven Manhattan high rises I consistently refused to budge.

One day he showed up at the studio - without an appointment - and started talking as if the project was proceeding. He had seemingly given up on negoiating and was ready to start. I said, "So you're o.k. with the fee?"

"You had to bring that up."

Mar 11, 14 9:12 pm

^ I guess you don't get to be the owner of 7 high-rises without a certain amount of bluster.

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 11, 14 10:05 pm

Inherited money is no reason to be an asshole.

Neither is earned money.

Mar 11, 14 10:35 pm

why is it going to take so long? doesnt revit draw it automatically?

Olaf Design Ninja_
Mar 12, 14 7:12 am

Like two clicks in the computer right?

Mar 12, 14 9:24 am

Interesting how some clients sound a lot like the principles of firms I worked at...

Mar 12, 14 9:59 am

Client: "That should not take that long to do!"

Me: "Yes, it does. Can you do it faster?"

Client: "Oh, I don't know how to use AutoCAD."

Arshia MahmoodiArshia Mahmoodi
Mar 12, 14 10:19 am

"I can't pay you, but I can give you a lot of work"

On the fence
Mar 12, 14 11:08 am

client: "you don't mind if I breast feed during the design meeting, do you?"


roberto vasquezroberto vasquez
Mar 12, 14 11:14 am

i wonder when we architects will learn to properly charge for our services and when to tell a client to take a flying leap...i think we need to take a couple classes where contractors take theres

Mar 12, 14 1:26 pm

"all I need is...."

fill in the blank.

Implying the cost of whatever task is not time consuming or fee worthy.

Mar 12, 14 1:33 pm

To be fair, I've seen uncountable instances when architects demonstrate similar behavior when dealing with their own consulting engineers !

Saint in the City
Mar 12, 14 1:33 pm

"We're not going to accept any change orders on this project".

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 12, 14 1:52 pm

"It's going to be our dream house", said the developer.

Mar 12, 14 1:55 pm

dear structural engineer..

all we need is...

fill in the blank...  its free right?


Mar 12, 14 5:17 pm

"I don't have a lot of money but I would like to ______"

Mar 12, 14 6:31 pm

Can I build a house for $75.00 per square foot?

Mar 12, 14 6:39 pm

"You think maybe we can get away without all those ADA  Requirements?"  You no I never see a person  using those stalls....ever.

Mar 12, 14 8:21 pm

"We don't have to do that, the building inspectors a friend of mine"

Mar 12, 14 8:23 pm


Mar 12, 14 8:23 pm



Olaf Design Ninja_
Mar 12, 14 8:33 pm

"This project will really boost your portfolio. " implying reduction in fees

Mar 12, 14 10:36 pm

Had a call from a franchisee of a popular local restaurant.

"We want to tear down our building and rebuild a new one..."


" that gonna cost anything?"

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 12, 14 10:59 pm

"I'll see that it gets published when it's done"

Saint in the City
Mar 13, 14 9:43 am

"Now that we've given you the final sign-off on the program requirements, we need you finish the drawings in two weeks."

Miles JaffeMiles Jaffe
Mar 13, 14 10:18 am

"My nephew just graduated from architecture school. He's going to design he house."

Mar 13, 14 1:43 pm

"My friend who is an architect, says your fee's are outrageous and you shouldn't be charging that much.  He says it's worth (insert 1/2 of your fee's)."  I tell them; Then hire him.

"I need a ADA certification and approval." 

Mar 13, 14 1:49 pm

i was going to add

'well done' or

'thanks for the timely response'

but i suppose that isn't snarky enough

Erik Evens (EKE)
Mar 13, 14 3:02 pm

"Thank you and your team for the beautiful building we built together.  It's been like a dream come true for us.  Every day, I wake up, and I have to pinch myself to remind myself that it's real.  Not only is it beautiful, but the process was actually enjoyable, and you and your incredibly talented team were there to help us, every step of the way.  We're so grateful!"

Erik Evens (EKE)
Mar 13, 14 3:37 pm


Jeremy MillerJeremy Miller
Mar 13, 14 7:28 pm

"I can't spend more than $800" (referring to design work on a 2 story, 800 sf addition)  Wait... I guess that wasn't a client.

Mar 13, 14 7:45 pm

Once after a lengthy presentation  regarding a large commercial project to an  Oil Rich Cowboy and his son.    The Good Ole Boy Said, "Well that has been fun." 

roberto vasquezroberto vasquez
Mar 14, 14 1:45 pm

hey jeremy, you should refer that client to gruen. gruen does great one dimensional renderings and keeps it within budget. see above for work samples.

  • ×Search in:

Please wait... loading
Please wait... loading