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What's the deal with Naked Dudes at the Gym?

Dec 18 '13 51 Last Comment
wurdan freo
Dec 18, 13 12:13 pm

I enjoy going to the gym and working out, but I can't stand the nakedness in the locker room. Seriously, what's the deal with parading around your wrinkly, naked ass. The biggest problem I have is the dudes who stand in front of the sink in all their natural glory, shaving away, brushing their teeth, bending in all kinds of non flattering poses and talking about the highlights of yesterdays Packers game. To me it literally seems like, "How long can I stand naked in front of as many strangers as possible?" Gimme an f'n break. Even in my own house i brush my teeth with my boxers on after I finish a shower. What's the deal? Are gym locker rooms exhibitionist's playgrounds? Am I just the odd man out? Someone please enlighten me. 

 

SneakyPete
Dec 18, 13 12:17 pm

It's just a body. What's the big deal?

Thecyclist
Dec 18, 13 12:28 pm

Okay, I'll try and wear clothes more often in the locker room, geez!

Dec 18, 13 12:41 pm

sounds like some of thes gusy are advertising.  But that's just a guess.

Donna SinkDonna Sink
Dec 18, 13 12:44 pm

Is Brad Pitt a member of your gym, by chance?

BulgarBlogger
Dec 18, 13 12:55 pm

probably gay interior designers

citizen
Dec 18, 13 12:56 pm

Are gym locker rooms exhibitionist's playgrounds?

This is how I generally interpret the phenomenon, except that it's less about display and more about comfort, I think.  It's most often middle-aged and older guys thinking "screw it," not "look at me."

My gripe: the loud (seemingly shouted) conversations between the old guys.  Seriously, 110db in a tiled room makes my head hurt.

chigurh
Dec 18, 13 1:26 pm

i think its just a generational shift in notions of privacy.

old dudes don't give a crap about being naked cause they took showers in gym class in school, which students don't do anymore and if they do, it has to be a fully partitioned off shower stall with a curtain.

I agree that some of these old coots are just over the top, balls hanging on the counter, draggin on the floor.

just mind your business.

observant
Dec 18, 13 1:44 pm

It's not generational.

There's a thing called a towel.  Use it.  Especially for those standing in front of the sink and mirror for extended periods of time and who look like prunes.  The ones standing in front of the sink and mirror who do not look like prunes are exhibitionists.

Why do people shave at the gym anyway?  Don't people do that at home, using one of those no-fog mirrors stuck onto the walls of their tub/shower surround?  It's efficient - you can also wash, shampoo, and even pee at the same time if you must.  Lisa Lampanelli did ask her audience in one skit if they peed in the shower. 

jla-x
Dec 18, 13 1:58 pm

why aren't there ever naked women at the gym.  I would be in much better shape if there were.

bowling_ball
Dec 18, 13 1:58 pm

Once saw a guy in the locker room lotioning his pecker, slowly, starting at the base and pulling on that thing like he was trying to choke it to death.

That was 15 years ago and it still disturbs me.  *shudder*

afrdzak
Dec 18, 13 3:04 pm

This isn't only generational, it's also cultural.  To my knowledge, in most European and some Middle Eastern countries all ages are parading around.

Dec 18, 13 4:05 pm

I almost forgot about this but there was a time int the US when hihg shcool boys were forced to swim naked in phsyical education classes.  a search turned up a couple of links and link.

Parad0xx86
Dec 18, 13 5:29 pm

All I can think of is suppressed desires. :))
Actually recently I was wondering if Putin is gay. They wrote an article in a newspaper about him being secretly gay because:








He often goes shirtless!

SneakyPete
Dec 18, 13 5:44 pm

Going shirtless means you're gay? 

Parad0xx86
Dec 18, 13 6:01 pm

Well no I wouldn't say that but Putin looks kind of like an exhibitionist to me and with all the crackdown on gays in Russia I'm wondering if he is a closet homosexual because the homophobic people tend to have homosexual desires themselves and they're afraid of their feelings.

Quondam
Dec 18, 13 6:38 pm

With its first 12 floors accessible only to men, the Downtown Athletic Club appears to be a locker room the size of a Skyscraper, definitive manifestation of those metaphysics--at once spiritual and carnal--that protect the American male against the corrosion of adulthood. But in fact, the club has reached the point where the notion of a "peak" condition transcends the physical realm to become cerebral. It is not a locker room but an incubator for adults, an instrument that permits the members--to impatient too await the outcome of evolution--to reach new strata of maturity by transforming themselves into new beings, this time according to their individual designs. Bastions of the antinatural, Skyscrapers such as the Club announce the imminent segregation of mankind into two tribes: one of Metropolitanites--literally self made--whose used the full potential of the apparatus of Modernity to reach unique levels of perfection, the second simply the remainder of the human race. The only price its locker-room graduates have to pay for their collective narcissism is that of sterility. Their self-induced mutations are not reproducible in future generations.


A machine for metropolitan bachelors . . .

The bewitchment of the Metropolis stops at the genes; they remain the final stronghold of nature.

When the Club's management advertises the fact that "with its delightful sea breezes and commanding view, the 20 floors devoted to living quarters for members, make the Downtown Club an ideal home for men who are free of family cares and in a position to enjoy the last word in luxurious living. . . ." they suggest openly that for the true Metropolitan, bachelorhood is the only desirable status.

The Downtown Athletic Club is a machine for metropolitan bachelors whose ultimate "peak" condidtion has lifted them beyond the reach of fertile brides.

In their frenzied self-regeneration, the men are ona collective "flight upward" from the specter of the Basin Girl.

--Delirious New York: A Retroactive Manifesto for Manhattan (1978)

 

Is it true someone out there is currently working on Delirious Cyberspace: A Retroactive Manifesto for the Internet? I can see it all now.

 

Sarah Hamilton
Dec 18, 13 6:58 pm

I don't see the big deal. It's just a body. I feel like we should be mature enough at this age to not freak out about it. I'd like to push my comfort boundaries and try the full-nudity thing if I ever go to a foreign bath or sauna. Maybe if you tried the naked locker room experience just once, you'd feel less awkward.

observant
Dec 18, 13 7:18 pm

This isn't only generational, it's also cultural.  To my knowledge, in most European and some Middle Eastern countries all ages are parading around.

I can tell you that this is not the case with Southern Europe.  The people who parade around nude on the beaches where it's warm are mostly from Northern Europe.  The Germans love doing so.  It's amazing that a person can walk through the Englischer Garten (English Garden) in Munich and people are sunbathing nude.  It's fact, not fiction.  You would never see that in the Villa Borghese in Rome or Parque del Retiro in Madrid.  The authorities would tell you to cover up.  In New York's Central Park, they would just arrest you.

Also, Scandinavian families do the sauna thing together, and au naturel, in places like Finland.  Kind of schizophrenic how they would hang out as a family in the nude and be socially progressive in general while being reputedly unemotive, passive-aggressive, and drink like fish.  I was "on holiday" in (Palma de) Mallorca once and would leave the hotel in a residential burb to walk to the beach.  At the adjacent hotel, set back from the sidewalk to accommodate a small drop-off area and a bar's patio, was the same fat blonde sitting outside drinking ... every day.  By about the third day, I waved to her and yelled out  "Where are you from?"  I figured from the UK or Germany, based on who goes to Mallorca more.  She awoke from her being enamored with her drink and said "Finland."  That is sad that this woman got on some low-cost charter flight down to Mallorca to sit in front of her hotel and drink all day rather than sample the turquoise coves of the Balearics.  Meh.  I didn't think she could tan if she tried.  Just effin' weird, though.

This thread is getting some mileage ... and quickly.  LOL.

Dec 19, 13 10:00 am

The "Putin is gay" thing is an interesting angle.  I wouldn't say that he's gay, per se, but as a member near the top of the alpha male order, it's quite likely that he has engaged in homosexual acts.  These guys are infatuated with pwer relationships and nothing says power like sodomizing anohter man.  They evwn have special techniques for domination & mind control (especially effective on young boys):

"The penetration occurs at an upward angle, so it strikes the nerves at the end of the spine and produces white flashes of light in the brain."

This stuff is very common in the upper realms of power( military, corporate, religious).

Once you wrap yur head around this, it helps explain much of the institutional sex shaming.  Women hit a "glass celing" because 1- they litereally don't have a penis and cannot sodomized others and 2- perhaps more threateningly, they might actually enjoy the "depraved" sexual acts performed on them.  Similar problem with homosexuals, the image of gay men having a loving & caring relationship is a very serious threat to power structure based on domination, pain, & fear.  Sexual liberation is liberation.

wurdan freo
Dec 19, 13 11:52 am

Enlightening...

@ Donna. Brad Pitt is a member of my gym! Merry Christmas. 

@Sarah. I was a D1 athlete in a men's team sport and I had several years of naked locker room experience. Completely different in my opinion, but we were forced to do almost everything together and quickly became close friends with a common purpose and goal. It wasn't a locker room full of strangers.  Maybe next time I'm at the gym, I should just roll up a rat tail and start snapping  the naked dudes on the ass.  That could be a bonding experience for sure!  or I could get arrested I suppose...

I think I'm going to print out this post, paste it up at the locker room and explain to the naked paraders that they are really just gay communists. 

Dec 19, 13 1:56 pm

It's not just soviet communists.  also fascists too.

citizen
Dec 19, 13 2:22 pm

Wurdan,

It'll be much more effective if you walk up and hand them a copy.

observant
Dec 19, 13 3:30 pm

The "Putin is gay" thing is an interesting angle.  I wouldn't say that he's gay, per se, but as a member near the top of the alpha male order, it's quite likely that he has engaged in homosexual acts.  These guys are infatuated with pwer relationships and nothing says power like sodomizing anohter man. 

This stuff is very common in the upper realms of power( military, corporate, religious).

God, someone on here who is actually funny and says random shit.  Hey, I believe it.  I saw "Primal Fear."

A couple of weeks ago, I told this story on TC, I believe, where I made a comment about a particularly surly and domineering woman office manager in our building heading to her car at about 6 pm to FIVE GUYS (no, not a restaurant, just a flock of male feminists) saying "Sex with (name of this broad) was meant to hurt."  They got oh-so upset.  Well, I was on a road trip and stopped into a bar to get bar food to stay awake.  These two guys at the next table were wondering why I came in there for the bar food, and were razzing me for it.  We began to talk about local politics and whatnot, and talking about some ridiculous things.  I told them I made such a comment at work and that it offended GUYS.  They both said, on cue, "pussification" of the American male.

curtkram
Dec 19, 13 3:33 pm

did you just call handsum 'god?'

i'm pretty sure he doesn't like the sort of people that play god....

observant
Dec 19, 13 3:45 pm

I could have said Gosh, but I didn't.

Dec 19, 13 3:47 pm

What are the odds that top reptile servant cheneey struts around naked in the gym?

Dec 19, 13 4:04 pm

I’m smoking dope, I’m on my cell phone
I’m selling dope, straight off the iPhone
He wanna quote, he talking 9 zones
He bought four, I front him 5 more
9 piece, straight 8 balls
MJG bitch Cheney got 8 balls
9 piece, straight 8 balls
MJG bitch Chenye got 8 balls

J. James R.J. James R.
Dec 19, 13 4:30 pm

why aren't there ever naked women at the gym.  I would be in much better shape if there were.

There are. Some female gym rats will occasionally complain about it. It is just that being subjected to female nudity isn't frowned up is associated with homophobic responses. Naturally, someone will point out the European examples but social nudity is occasionally encountered pretty much else where in the world.

I think the reason you see declines in the behavior have more to do with suburbanism, automobiles and air-conditioning. People no longer have to utilize public bathing facilities when the home is a drive away or necessarily stink that much when they get to enjoy air-conditioned classrooms and offices. Though, with the increase in antibiotic-resistant bacteria, regular hygiene should be a standard practice for anyone involved in a long period of rigor.

Parad0xx86
Dec 19, 13 4:49 pm

I think women are more self conscious about their bodies. Here in Turkey women don't parade around naked in the gym well..at least in the gym I go to and most of them are in great shape.

observant
Dec 19, 13 6:10 pm

There are. Some female gym rats will occasionally complain about it. It is just that being subjected to female nudity isn't frowned up is associated with homophobic responses. Naturally, someone will point out the European examples but social nudity is occasionally encountered pretty much else where in the world.

Yes, however, we wouldn't know how women behave in their own locker rooms at health clubs unless it is reported to us.  Is there the older female equivalent with partially deflated enema bag boobs parading around the locker rooms of American or Canadian health clubs?  I wouldn't know.  But I'm sure some women, in a reciprocal manner, would not be thrilled about it.  The only examples of social nudity in the U.S. I can think of are Haulover Beach in Miami Beach FL, practically required to fetch some Euros, and hippy-dippy hot springs in California people hike into and would be the present day equivalent of the pond picture at Woodstock, replete with the scents of marijuana and patchouli oil.

I think women are more self conscious about their bodies. Here in Turkey women don't parade around naked in the gym well..at least in the gym I go to and most of them are in great shape.

Some women wig out over 5 extra pounds.  I think they create this body dysmorphic criteria among themselves much more so than men could have ever done so.  Women dress for each other, because most men wouldn't know if they looked nice or not ... unless they're in a design profession ... *wink*  In southern Europe, most local women would not go to the beach topless, and they are thin.  And yet they eat ... and they eat well.  Is it portion control?  Well, it catches up with them.  Q:  What's the difference between an Italian woman and an elephant?  A:  About 50 pounds and a black dress.  They laugh at this, because this is clearly generational.  However, it is the northern and fatter counterparts who use the topless option  ... without any hangups.  And some of them shouldn't.  As for guys, who worries about an extra 5 to 10 pounds?  That is, unless you're addicted to the gym and routinely measure your biceps and calves as well.

Dec 20, 13 10:10 am

Only exampel s of social nudity in the US?  Can't forget such college tradtions as the nude olympic at Princton Universtiy.or the Naked mile at he Univ of Minesota.

Also, as I breifly noted above, many public swimming pools required boys & men to swim naked up until the early 1970s.  This included the YMCAs and also many public high schools also forced the boys to participate in the nude.  So, yeah, an older guy (60+) in the US might think nothing of strutting abut iin the buff swim at the gym.

Saint in the City
Dec 20, 13 2:54 pm

Over the noon hour at the gym I was quite fortunate to witness two elderly gentlemen -- totally nude, of course -- standing about a foot apart, hands on hips and conversationally yelling about their skiing adventures.  I was just about to strip down and join them but I have not been skiing lately.  So that would've been awkward. 

curtkram
Dec 20, 13 3:53 pm

imagine if you were a snowboarder.  that could really create an uncomfortable situation.

Dec 21, 13 11:19 am

a snowboarder, ha ha funny.

Ok, how is itthat us architects have a discussion all week about naked old guys and nobody posts the obligatory Corb naked photo?

Guess I fix it myself, thank you.

Dec 23, 13 10:08 am

Don't know why i odn't think of this before, but I type the OPs question into google and here are the results.

This thread is actually the 1st to come up.  but thare are other threads too.

yahoo answers

girls ask guys

getbig

redit

adn some dude who claims he can wank in the shower without getting caugth

wurdan freo
Dec 23, 13 11:20 am

Taken from "Older men of reddit, why do you enjoy being naked in Gym locker rooms?"

[–]Mozamblake 3246 points 9 days ago*
Old guy walks down the street and feels a little bit of concern when the young toughs walk by. He feels vulnerable, having lost the strength of his youth. Maybe some of his hair. A few inches of his height.
In the gym, these same young toughs parade around - lifting the heaviest weights, admiring themselves in the mirror. Flirting with the ladies. Standing tall. Walking strong.
But in the locker room, you are in my domain. I have seen enough of life to no longer give a shit what other men think of my naked body. While younger men are still a bit self-conscious of their penis size - especially in comparison to the size of their biceps - I don't give a shit. I walk around fearless. I prop one leg up on the counter and blow warm air through the grey hair on my balls with impunity. I laugh to see the younger men cringe.
You young bucks may be parading through early life with your youth, arrogance, and naivete. I am marching towards the gates of death - naked, unashamed, and with my balls dry and freshly powdered.
** EDIT: Thanks for the gold. And the Gold Bond. **
permalink


[–]Trill-Murray 1347 points 9 days ago
All I want for Christmas is for Morgan Freeman to narrate this.
permalinkparent


[–]ShamusNC 404 points 9 days ago
My vote is for Christopher Walken. He's a half bubble off center enough to give that edge of crazy to the ending.

Dec 23, 13 12:22 pm

more internet silliness from theoatmeal.com

Sarah Hamilton
Dec 23, 13 2:33 pm

Those are great! Thanks for the laugh.

Parad0xx86
Dec 23, 13 4:12 pm

The Oatmeal hit the nail on the head once again!

Saint in the City
Dec 23, 13 4:57 pm

wurdan -- the post from Mozamblake is priceless.  

rodroc
Dec 23, 13 5:01 pm

Man, I hope that this does not become a trend.  

Regards

Rod

Titan Conveyors

snooker-doodle-dandy
Dec 23, 13 7:55 pm

"What are the odds that top reptile servant cheneey struts around naked in the gym?"

Well we know he shoots his friends.......

Thinking about conversations between father and straight daughter.

Thinking about conversation between father and lesbian daughter.

Thinking about conversations with his wife....old   college  days at the University of Wyoming.....where we were cowboy and love to ride....anything that moved.

placebeyondthesplines
Dec 24, 13 2:13 pm


Some seriously depressing homophobia in this thread. 


Dec 26, 13 9:34 am

What?  this threed is th egreatest celebration o f masculine sensuality evers !

placebeyondthesplines
Dec 26, 13 2:17 pm


Ugh. 


s=r*(theta)
Dec 27, 13 12:29 pm

who care's, if they are nude. if you are not into ogling naked guys, or self conscious about your penis size, no one cares. I played sports in high schooI though so maybe it doesnt bother me as much. i think my biggest gripe would be the guys who just sit around nude in the locker room for several minutes watching t.v. and sipping on their post workout beverages taking up space like you own the place.

observant
Dec 27, 13 1:42 pm

Some seriously depressing homophobia in this thread.

Sorry, but your assessment is slightly laughable.  Architecture parallels Hollywood in this regard.  Think of the effeminate professors and practitioners you've met in architecture with wedding bands who scream a little too loudly of their marital status and children, more noticeably so than their more masculine low key counterparts.  The same is true of some Hollywood stars, as in "who are you trying to kid?"  Come to think of it, the same has been true of politicians and preachers, the two of which can sometimes be interchangeable entities.

I was going to comment on the leftmost character on "Old Men in the Locker Room."  Old men just like him are the worst offenders.  You almost wonder if they do it for shock value.  Also, you wonder how they got into that kind of shape to begin with and what their actuarial table and medical record looks like.

Dec 27, 13 2:52 pm

The leftmost character?  I keep thinking that is santa claus which means he lives off of cookies and is 200 years old.  in terms of actuarial tables , I would take that.

observant
Dec 27, 13 4:12 pm

I keep thinking that is santa claus which means he lives off of cookies and is 200 years old.

Just like "Debbie Does Dallas," they could make a flick called "Santa Claus does the North Pole."   Not good.  Not good.  Possibly even sacrilegious.

Dec 28, 13 8:39 am

Well, Santa is an  annagram of Satan so sacrilegious is all reletive ,I guess.

But "Santa does the Norht Pole" is pretty funny.

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