Like Archinect on Facebook.
Sign up to our mailing list.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a special Sunday radio address, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) delivered a health tip to the American people, advising them to delay getting cancer for a year.
“We’re involved in a high-stakes fight over our freedom from centralized government control of our lives,” said Mr. Boehner, speaking on behalf of his House colleagues. “You can do your part by delaying getting cancer.”
He added that heart disease, emphysema, and diabetes were among a laundry list of conditions that would be “patriotic to avoid for a year.”
“If you delay getting any of these things for the next twelve months, together we will win this fight,” he said.
In closing, he reassured the American people that in the event of a government shutdown, members of Congress’ health benefits would remain intact: “We want to be in tip-top shape to continue to do the excellent job we’re doing for you."
POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ, in The New Yorker
I'm trying for gods sake! I'm trying.
I was thinking about this as I was driving today. Not so much about the delay, but the ACA. The delay comment is asinine, as is Boner (I mean Boehner).
The whole thing also depends on loads. That is, health insurance companies and utilities, for example, ask for rates for an upcoming period, and then make adjustments to reflect what really happened and what is likely to happen in terms of demand in setting new rates. A person who uses or rather, abuses, the system is known as a "frequent flyer." The "frequent flyers" often are already have government subsidized, or free, health care. That some elderly people are "frequent flyers" is often no fault of their own. I was once waiting in a hospital's ER and there was this (won't insert descriptors, but you get the idea) guy who was clutching his stomach, squirming, and screaming in pain the whole time I was in the waiting area. They took others prior to him, including me. I asked the nurse or assistant taking me into the ER exam rooms if they were going to take care of that guy because he seemed to be in pain. She told me that they had it under control. Thus, it sounded like he was a regular. Those visits to ER are billed to someone and, for this guy, I'm sure it was Medicaid or Medi-Cal (CA).
I'd bet the bulk of the people who can now benefit from ACA are not "frequent flyers." Even with insurance, who likes to go to the doctor if they don't have to? A good chunk of these people have avoided going to the doctor, counting on their good health and luck, and may take advantage of the fact that they can go 2 to 4 times a year, have some screenings, and get some generic meds. If that is what many people will do, and not become "frequent flyers," the system won't be taxed much more than it has been in the past. If someone who has not been a "frequent flyer" becomes one because of a catastrophic illness and/or bad luck, then that's a cost we'll fairly have to bear. At any rate, that's why actuaries have all those numbers to crunch, have to take all those exams, and are well paid. In reality, they and the accountants know the real score here.
I mean that's is serious stuff approaching the U.S.. But okay, Mr. Boehner, I am waiting to get cancer. For you and for the state!
lol, pretty good satire from the New Yorker
Damn. Why didn't he tell me that last week?