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Portfolio Review.

Dec 11 '12 15 Last Comment
Dima SroujiDima Srouji
Dec 11, 12 12:55 am

Go ahead, rip it apart. Some pages aren't finished. Red line means I don't like the page. Last page isn't the back cover I need to add a white page at the back.

Text still needs to be added in some areas.

The spreads aren't right. I doubled them up so it's not a 60 page spread. Layout isn't exactly final here.

http://issuu.com/dimasrouji/docs/12_10_gradschool_portfolio?mode=window&backgroundColor=%23222222

 

JosephK
Dec 11, 12 1:47 am

I like it. I think that longer written introduction would help to solidify the conceptual imagery.

Do you know of the work of Rachel Whiteread?

Cizz
Dec 11, 12 9:23 am

In one of your charcoal drawings the wheelchair and person appear as if they were floating, 

I dont know if the image is photoshoped into the drawing however if it isn't I would  add shadows to the bottom of the wheel chair so it doesnt appear as floating , just saying 

Kamueku Luke KakizakiKamueku Luke Kakizaki
Dec 11, 12 12:57 pm

nice drawings. good character and voice. 

layout wise- i'd consider how to create more of a development and narrative in your projects. right now the images are nice individually but don't quite tie in well together to make a complete whole project (s). also, you might want to play with the scale of each image and make some larger, other small, so that there is hierarchy in some of the stuff your'e trying to convey. 

good luck! 

disro
Dec 11, 12 3:25 pm

@JosephK I am familiar with Rachel Whiteread. I've actually used her as a reference a few times in first year. Those plaster casts gave it away huh?

Thanks for the feedback guys. I'll try to do something about that floating lady. I might just take her out. Might be a waste of time to edit.

Creating a narrative is the tricky part I think. It's going to be a fun week.

kadam-patil
Dec 12, 12 12:18 am

hey disro nice portfolio -what was u r undergrad background???

snail
Dec 12, 12 9:28 am

I think you should keep the image with the person in the wheelchair - you can fix the shadow in 15 minutes. If you want to keep it hand-drawn, you just need to print it out, put a piece of trace over the printout and draw a shadow underneath where the person is, scan that, and then overlay the shadow onto the person with blending mode: multiply. Or you could just make a shadow in Photoshop.

fobmasta
Dec 12, 12 3:18 pm

wow I usually don´t say this but I really really like this portfolio. I even bothered to login to say this. Amazing!

disro
Dec 12, 12 5:30 pm

wow thanks everyone. Really working on layout now. Lot's has changed. I'll upload another copy when I'm done.

I did my undergrad at kingston university in London. Working at pelli clarke pelli now.

I'll see what I can do about that floating lady. Thanks snail.

Cizz
Dec 13, 12 7:46 pm

LOOKS GOOD, STRONG START

disro
Dec 13, 12 7:49 pm

@cizz, do you thank that solves the floating lady problem? :)

snail
Dec 13, 12 10:52 pm

It looks like you attempted to solve the floating lady problem by simply cropping the image, but doing so destroys your original message. Where the image was originally trying to show a person looking out a window, cutting off the edge of the window makes the idea less clear. Are you having some kind of issue with the software that kept you from just adding in a shadow? If so, that could very quickly become a continuing problem on other assignments when you get to architecture school.

You also seem to have a lot of spreads with two similarly-sized images on each page, and between pages 12-21 you have five spreads in a row with one image across both spreads. Those layouts are okay in and of themselves, but having multiple repetitions of the same layout idea without including any other layout types creates a sense of  monotony. Try changing some of the sizes of your images to have some smaller and some larger - that would add more variety while also creating a sense of hierarchy.

Stewart Hicks
Dec 14, 12 1:21 am

beautiful.

fobmasta
Dec 17, 12 9:06 am

I prefer your original portfolio, especially pages 5-7, 12,13, 22-28. You have really strong compositions here. but in your new one, you have, as snail pointed, monotonous repetition of full page spreads, which anyone can do. I really think you had something special in your original portfolio.

disro
Dec 18, 12 6:34 pm

Thanks all. I'm working to find a healthy middle. I agree, some pieces lost their charm after being overblown.

@snail. I was joking, I didn't attempt to solve the problem. It's a temporary solution. Thanks your comments were really helpful.

@stewart hicks, thank you!

@fobmasta I agree. I got advice from a friend about my original format. I think I might have taken his advice to the extreme. I'll work on those monotonous pages.

I'll upload a new version tonight.

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