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Official Archinect Haiku Thread

Sep 22 '05 287 Last Comment
Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 1:41 pm

My friends, remember the good old days on Archinect where our beloved haiku thread grew to an incredible length?

We need a new one here, and this is it. I won't be satisfied until virtually ever topic known to man has been covered in eloquent 5-7-5 format. Yah, that's right, I expect to see no less than 825 replies by 5: p.m. Friday September 23.

Just as a reminder, some of the more popular topics in the world today that you may write a haiku about include:

Sex, money, cars, landscaping, working, comedy, Internets, hurricanes, Bush hating, John Roberts, painting, office pranks, motorcycle wheelies that seem to last forever, problems sending email, portfilios, moronic professors, porcupines, and silk panties.

Let the games begin!

 

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 1:42 pm

Hurricane Rita
I'm gonna slap you around
You destructive bitch

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 1:45 pm

Hey there professor
Will you put me down again?
salty tears taste great

b3tadine[sutures]
Sep 22, 05 1:47 pm

Oh tortuous job
You drive the edge deeper still
I yearn for freedom

FRO
Sep 22, 05 1:55 pm

O fickle women
now from predator to prey
you have transformed me

Sep 22, 05 1:55 pm

one two three four five
two three four five six seven
five four three two one

[I have a stored copy of the old thread, by the way.]

chaglang
Sep 22, 05 2:22 pm

l f l l
r m x u
u u q

or:

line fillet line line
rotate move explode undo
undo undo save

not per--corell
Sep 22, 05 2:31 pm

cruising slowly by
circling the park watched by
joggers in nylon

bass rattles the trunk
i lean across for best sound
stereo fills sky

hard bodies swoon when
glitter blue car paint sparkles
yeah i own this town

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 2:57 pm

Holy crap not per correll, that's really good!

a good office joke
eat lunch in a bathroom stall
on a T.V. tray

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 3:13 pm

hey there pretty girl
are you fine with me staring
at your exposed thong?

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 3:19 pm

I've got a feeling
we'll be much better off when
democrats control

strlt_typ
Sep 22, 05 3:23 pm

parking schemes all day
thinking I will see her soon
why am i so tense?

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 3:25 pm

a witch on a broom
could never scare me as much
as seeing Bush nude

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 3:26 pm

dammson, you are tense
because you are all backed up
better rub one out!

strlt_typ
Sep 22, 05 3:33 pm

not during lunch break
i'll just smoke three cigarettes
after a taco

AP
Sep 22, 05 3:34 pm

Ur-sprawl city blue
and red lights do not confuse
walking with freedom

A Center for Ants?
Sep 22, 05 3:38 pm

trying to plan site
no place for the loading dock
will read archinect

A Center for Ants?
Sep 22, 05 3:40 pm

MM's thong haiku is wonderful, as is the pimp-mobile one by not per

A Center for Ants?
Sep 22, 05 3:44 pm

hello product rep
pretty girl that talks to me
but your tiles stink

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 3:48 pm

blood-sucking leeches
have invaded my nostrils
at first it tickles

but then I'm in shock
I feel them crawling higher
I start to feel sick

they're at the door now
seeking entry to my brain
cannot hold them off

suddenly it starts
I feel a warm liquid flow
as my eyes squint shut

it passes my lips
as my tongue investigates
fears are realized

the leeches have found
an artery to call home
and I am helpless

under their control
my nervous system reacts
I am now in shock

blood pressure races
it won't be much longer now
cannot hold them off

frontal lobe cries out
I am fading, fading fast
I am, I am, dead

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:18 pm

blood-lust, blood-letting
call it what you will my friend
some just love the taste

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:21 pm

tonsil-hockey pro
so that's what you call yourself
on the bus to school

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:32 pm

"What's the latest craze?"
your mom said, curious like,
as dinner was served.

"Can't really say, mom."
"But we do use clean needles,"
you said with a grin.

"Homemade tats? No!"
she screamed, slamming a plate down.
"What's wrong with you son?"

"Uh, no, that's not right,"
you said, confused as ever.
"We're shooting up crack."

Dymaxion
Sep 22, 05 4:35 pm

might as well go for
a soda nobody hurts
and nobody cries

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:44 pm

Interested in me?
the corner hooker cried out
I will rock your world

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:45 pm

asleep on the couch
whisky bottles on the floor
drink the pain away

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:48 pm

sharpen your claws cat
we're sending you off to war
with the rats and mice

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:49 pm

what's wrong everyone?
can you not keep up with me,
the haiku master?

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:52 pm

get those pants off girl
armageddon is coming
be my final thrill

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:55 pm

let me show you how
we will prepare our assault
like Animal House

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 4:56 pm

blood-sucking zombies
at the front door, so he says
our son has nightmares

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 5:02 pm

Landscaping jackass
peaking in at my wife's breasts
get back to your mulch

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 5:09 pm

Thomas Tank Engine
Is the dumbest to ever
with that phallic nose

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 5:09 pm

Thomas Tank Engine
Is the dumbest toy ever
with that phallic nose

chaglang
Sep 22, 05 6:11 pm

got time to kill? asked
manteno montenegro
fifty more haiku...

garpike
Sep 22, 05 6:19 pm

hey! i love haiku!
you archinecters are great!
how did you guys know?

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 6:20 pm

I am a machine
when it comes to dreaming up
glorious haiku

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 6:21 pm

I caught Frank Gehry
in the bathroom at Chili's
lotioning his wand

dia
Sep 22, 05 6:26 pm

Too much time to spare
Manteno Montenegro
Is his pseudonym?

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 6:27 pm

Le Corbusier
loved to have his caviar
hand fed by virgins

Manteno_Montenegro
Sep 22, 05 6:28 pm

Adios my friends
the end of the day is here
this is where I leave!

mintcar
Sep 22, 05 6:32 pm

are they saddened
being strong men with money
and wishing they had their youth


i said racism
she said, "i'm not!"but i was
not talking to her


dont know how they hired
these people at such a good
place. i guess it's not.

dia
Sep 22, 05 6:32 pm

a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

mintcar
Sep 22, 05 6:32 pm

goodbye manteno
guess archinect does not feel
like poets today

Smokety Mc Smoke Smoke
Sep 22, 05 7:38 pm

girls like my hair long
boss likes it clean-cut
mullet solution!

LaTorpilleRose
Sep 22, 05 7:57 pm

hey there pretty girl
why don't you lift your skirt up
show me your goodies

ether
Sep 22, 05 10:05 pm

in walmart toy aisle
wailing boy wants wrestling doll
mama whups his ass

damn i'm fucking drunk
another beer bartender
face plant i'll sleep here

liberty bell
Sep 22, 05 11:08 pm

neverending work
install, nail, paint, but still my
kitchen eludes me

AP
Sep 23, 05 12:47 am

Conan O'Brien
has a bandaid on his chin
but he's still funny

collartim
Sep 23, 05 1:25 am

Corn on the cob, John.
You put too damn much butter!
John drops his first COB.

Cob on the ground now
Don’t eat that dirty cob, friend
Unsanitary

levasser
Sep 23, 05 1:52 am

will i die here, in
this studio, idea
empty, self doubt full?

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