dear abra - I have a set of cds to finish (freelance) but really don't want to continue the project. The client is an old school but I'd like to tell him to fuck off. How to deal with this?
dear abra - I have a set of cds to finish (freelance) but really don't want to continue the project. The client is an old school but I'd like to tell him to fuck off. How to deal with this?
"dear old school, i decided to discontinue your miserable project and sending you the copies of entire documents so far in one big roll for your use.
you can either burn them or use it for other purposes without my name, responsibility, liability or authority attached to them.
next time you hire somebody, please remember that these people are professional architects and are not trained to wipe your ass each time you have to go out.
there is an outstanding invoice of my unpaid work included in a separate envelope, which my lawyer will send to collection agency if a cashier's check not messengered to me in 2 business days. good luck and leave me alone. your ideas suck big time." (you might choose to hold the docs until the check is delivered)
i hope it helps. remember one of the basic tenets of the owner architect agreement is termination of the contract by either party is alright as long as notified seven days in advance.
yes, you can also fire the client if they are not performing their responsibilities or continuously making your work difficult.
i now feel i have the perfect yoga body - practicing 90 minutes of challenging yoga daily - anyone who does yoga on a regular basis will understand what 'the perfect yoga body' means.
but i only now seem to attract married folk - nice - but married. so wondering if i should give up yoga, put on a couple of stone or more, buy a 42" plasma tv, take up smoking, increase my alchohol consumption 3 fold, buy a lazy boy and become real.
forget it!
take up some smoking hashish, increase the alcohol consumption a notch and go to istanbul...
meet asena and tell her "fuck yoga, i love you."
I have to report to your wisdom the following dilemma: I have no desire to ever become licensed and especially take the LEED exam because I think it's a money making machine out of what should be common sense, although I would like to become an architect somehow and also have a good life.
I have no ambition to go up the ladder yet I have to have recognition. I am expected to give all for a career and I just think it's really just a job.
How do I eat and keep this cake?
if you have no desire to ever become licensed architect, you have to make up for that elsewhere. however, it won't hurt you to get a license and call yourself an architect legally.
people who usually rationalize not having a license are the ones who are trying to rationalize their laziness, not making time for it or fear of exam failure, or thinking it is already too late, or not wanting to deal with incredible bureaucracy of licensing dictators.
i know from years of personal procrastination and experience...
you will want to have a license, when a potential client asks you if you have an architect's license to change their lives and physical environments.
i can't say the same thing about LEED, since it is still not clear to me why that has to be a certification subject.
by the way, if you write LEED and spell check, merriam webster gives you LEWD with a meaning of; sexually unchaste, obscene or licentious.
how would you know?
regards to eating;
there are a lot of people in architecture eating gluttonously without cooking anything, but shit will catch up with those people eventually.
I've been living in the same c. 1920 house in a suburb of Fairfax, Va for the past 100 years with a variety of two, sometimes three other people. Something I've noticed is that regardless of the nature of the personalities of the other people in the house, the group dynamics seem to work best when there are two and not three other people. This lead me to think that that might be because the design of this house is mired in cartesian geometry, where there is an x, y and z axis of the house and each of the rooms. There is really no way to make the jump from three to four spatial dimensions and thus make it work for four residents. The future of architecture is to be able to accommodate up to four people in space, I think, and this leads to thoughts of how to best design space stations etc. Einstein says there are four dimensions, and I do not contradict this but see a possibility of four entirely spatial dimensions in a tetrahedron. Build your [outer space] houses in the form of a tetrahedron and four people (no more) will work in it. At the very centre you could design a tetrahedral dining table that could seat a maximum of four people eating Kraft Dinner.
As it is, dinner in our house is more animated when there are three, not four people. Adding a 'w' axis to the geometry might be one way to get the fourth person to feel welcome.
The methane molecule is in the form of a tetrahedron and everyone knows that digestive processes generate flatulence, or methane. It would be a very gassy meal at a tetrahedral dining table. In fact this note is just a big fart.
yrs, as ever,
GasCo.
~~~
dear GasCo.,
it sounds like a three dimensional chess playing if you ask me...
like, "fart mate!"
if i were you, i'd serve four different entry's from the kraft collection to have a symphony of essence.
and, of course, less moral minority know foursomes are nothing but selfish exercises dressed in sheep's clothing. i agree, stay with triple decker and share the smell of the roses.
please stay away from methane explosions when the goin' gets porny...
stick with the cartesian geo... and preserve your fart. pardon me...flatulence..
Why is it that all vegetarians eat simulated meat (i.e. Boca Burgers, "Kafta" which appears to be made of grass, etc.)? It always seemed to be that the whole point of becoming a vegetarian was due to hatred of meat products in the first place.
it usually happens with the *converts in transition... meaning, with the people who had, in the time of their low life days (that's how they usually view carnevour living, once they are switched), the taste of a real beef hot dog, burger or a meatball, real meat in short.
now gone vegie, these people are the worst people to invite to your bbq party. even if you go out of your way to make few vegetarian dishes just for them, these arrogant assholes do not cease to make facial expressions to your beautifully cooked meat plates...
*converts to vegeterianism; people who marry a vegeterian partner and gradually left to their own devices for sexual activity unless they change their eating habits.
australians have a great product called vegimite, a metophoric sister of spam...savory and fullfilling, with epic culture around it... recommended. a true gift from australia to humanity, ahahahhha....
So I met this girl recently from NYC. I've been visiting her in NYC and this time she visited me in Philly and we lost her camera in a cab. I might be at fault because at some point I was holding her camera. I just took the blame and told her I'll find it or I will buy her a new one. No problem there... except she wants a camera that is twice the value of the one that was lost (and finding a camera lost in a taxi was an impossible task to begin with anyway)...
It wouldn't be a problem to spend that much money on someone I'm close with but I've only known her for so long. So my options are:
A. Just give her the camera she wants and ask nothing in return - and fill up the memory card by replacing all the pictures that were lost by revisiting all the places on my own.
B. Swallow my pride and tell her I'll pay the value of the camera that was lost and she can make up for the difference in cost for the camera she wants.
C. Try my luck at Blackjack and Poker at the casinos to try to pay for the camera
D. Deny it was my fault and refuse to pay for it
I'm leaning towards C then depending on the outcome A or D ...haha...
non of the above. da answer is "F" . yes, you heard me right... give her the "FunPack". and tell her that is the best you can do and for the time being, if she goes for one, you'll throw in the second one without asking.
make sure to take some piccures...
I lived in Tucson and this college town is too warmer to live. 120o now in the summer. We need your help on how to shield the whole town to a more livable place.
as you know i live in beautiful old london town where the sky is blue every day - so they say.
the problem is that is has pissed down now ....well it seems like forever. it sucks.
well i was going to ditch london for any place[afganastan, iraq, gary in] in august like everyone here does but noooooooooooooooo.....i have to go to chicago! ....that sucks even more.
i need a life. can you fix that?
i a better note, yoga is great. and i got a great yoga body now. i am giving it all up and only doing yoga - now i have found that Bataille who is part of my phd work was into yoga. yes. all the problems of the world would be fixed if everyone did yoga! does obama do yoga?
hot dog. you are in luck because you just stumbled upon a subject i recently discussed with my go-to guy christo. here is his pronto...
he can either do the umbrella thing if you guys sign some release forms about accidental deaths etc.
or wrap the whole tuscon with stone washed denim.
your pick.
i asked him about doing a bucky fuller number on it (you know covering the city with bubble) but he said "sure you can, but that is just not going to be a CHRISTO." after that i didn't want to press him any further. i think it is bunch baloney but it will get tuscan in some design blogs nevertheless.
but i think best solution to your problem is by glen small. yes you heard me right. here is a picture of similar solution he proposed to new york. in 1984 he proposed a project called 'jungle theater' in which the buildings were covered with special nets and plants were let the grow on them with water casceding down and everything. of course the idea is now stolen by many come latelies and he is even asked to teach in trendy sci arc where he was a founding member. Jungle Theatre, 1984
here is an interview with glen small by orhan ayyuce, who usually writes on hollywood buzz and architectural fizz...
dear TED,
just when i was walking the unrulies, we run into this yoga love-in around the corner. the way things looked from our angle, we had to stop and be a part of this beautiful thing...
i bet you, there is enough yoga skills you now have, and the girl in red told me she is moving to chi town soon. great friendship might be waiting for you on the lakefront, instead of sleazy joints you are accustemed for the most of your life.
probably you need to borrow a pooch from a relative...
dear treekiller,
interesting question. i for one growing up in a culture that didn't celebrate the individual like they do now, have missed a big tradition of birthdays and cakes come with it. on earth we were not more special than lets say, a plant, a rock, a grain of sand or a drop of water, never mind the breath of air...
later on, in my early days, a grown up, an adult, just out of school, surrounded with party people and party condiments, i have start to celebrate my individual existance, a gift to earth, a person with views, opinions and a job. accepting gifts, parties to my honor and lamentations about how jolly i am.
later, i start to realize instead of accepting, i had to give back. so, i adopted a tradition of inviting most of my friends and cook for them on my birthdays with cases of wine, packs of cigarettes and other 'stuff' lasting into the next day and sometimes even longer.
as i started get even older (or younger,) the festivities started to die down and i started to accept no fuss no mass take me out to dinner celebrations on a prime seating hour at 'lawry's prime rib' and have waitresses and beef slicers wish me happy birthday in chorous.
now, coming back 1/2 full circle, i start to think, the best way to celebrate a birthday is to celebrate life in general, with the people closest to you, like your partner in life and rupert and daisy, cook helthy dishes of food for them, enjoy the flickers of light in the sky, coming from distant places, perhaps from parallel life forms in the shape of water drops, grains of sand, earful of sounds...
thinking of better things and saying, "so far so good, thank you..."
Dear Abra-
While I was out at the roller derby with friends last month I met a boy. He was nice, he had a few things in common. It was obvious he was interested, but I wasn't sure.
Then I saw him again last week at a happy hour and talked a little bit more, only to learn I found him incredibly boring and rather simple. I tired to freak him out by going all green/sustainable hippie tree hugger chick on him, but it only seemed to make him more attracted to me. Since the happy hour he's invited me (and a few others) to tomorrow's roller derby as well as out to eat (just me).
Any suggestions on how to let the guy down without hurting his feelings too much?
give the boy a break. sometimes you just do things to give people a chance and viola, you get something totally inexpected and beautiful.
seems like the whole decor was evolved around roller derby for which 'i' had to look in wikipedia!
i'd say change the environment and then see if he is boring in all terrains...
from what i hear, these days, the dating etiquette is to give people couple of chances at least.
but if the guy carry his log like boredom through the dinner, just say you need to go home and take care your two dozen + cats who sleep with you and change the litter. ask him if he wants to help. i guarantee, he won't think twice...
my boyfriend offended my mother and friends during my graduation. i know i bitch about my mom to him, but wtf, she is my mom, she only allows me to punch her for my own good.
he told my friend to dress better and get a good job right after my friend graduated with a master's degree. he doesn't even have a high school diploma even though he says he is got one from adult education program. wait that is not all.. he also offended my professor by exposing some inconsistancies in my prof's dissertation on why peanuts crack when chewed by a dog.
hehehe. i am not joking. he is really bright but should i dump him?
signed:
get me a drink please
___________________________________
dear get me a drink please,
i think you should tell him that your mother belongs to you when it comes to family feud that goes way back to middle ages...
i think he might be right about your friend and the professor. sounds like your professor should also study why fish farts are never heard. ask the prof about it...
as far as your bf's hi school diploma goes, ask him if he is interested in an architecture diploma (wood frame) from a reputable university...
now go get a drink and sleep on it for few days before taking any action. you must have been through a lot in one week.
Maybe what you need is not a diploma but an academic environment where you can work with people, learn/teach, research, produce work and get a diploma while at it. This is how I see school from student's window. As for the teachers, it is the same, without the diploma and with the salary.
If you are not in school, you still can do it, at the end, you get a license, but you have to work even more and most likely sacrifice for it. But license is more important and trumps all the diplomas. Funny thing about the lic., is that you can have 'the dip.,' but not 'it...'
But any way, yes you can have the dip. It'll cost you few hundred bucks. It is not one of those laminated cheapos but really high end hand made and real deal. It'll look classy with the real embossed seal of BU. They only deal in educational degrees and there is no required studies involved and yes your life experience is credited. PhD is available in more than 200 majors including architecture. I am thinking of getting one on 'Jurisprudence' as soon as I am comfortable pronouncing it. They say, me being Libra would worth a lot of credit... hehe.. I heard some people with money like to get two diplomas, like, one from a related field.
After that, you recommend you call these people.
Thank you for all your wisdom.
My problem is that I know everything more than the others. Like when everybody can only write a sentence or two about the color of traffic lights, I seem to know at least three pages worth and this knowledge is eating my life away typing and typing all day. What should I do to know less than the others?
Thank you in advance the wise one. And, happy new year.
Rick Wikiman
------------------------------
Dear RW
I have one suggestion for you:
Do try to remember to forget... And get a dog or cat.
Lately, now that I am getting divorced, I am feeling that, for the moment, more surface and less depth is the way for the single guy to go. I am wondering if open and honest about the past, as it relates to my online profile - hint, hint - is only going to frighten future dates? Any thoughts about how to re-enter the pool, without jumping in the deep end? 13 Years of marriage and 15 year relationship, scary stuff.
Lately, now that I am getting divorced, I am feeling that, for the moment, more surface and less depth is the way for the single guy to go. I am wondering if open and honest about the past, as it relates to my online profile - hint, hint - is only going to frighten future dates? Any thoughts about how to re-enter the pool, without jumping in the deep end? 13 Years of marriage and 15 year relationship, scary stuff.
Warmest and Sincerest Regards,
b3ta.
-----------------------------------------
Dear b3ta,
On the contrary, I maintain older single people usually have more depth than their married counterparts in general. This usually has to do with married people's fixation on the family affairs as a priority and that is a full time job. I applaud those, regardless of the family, still maintain wild and crazy lifestyle, at least a healthy dose of it. As someone in between, who lives with a long time girlfriend, I recommend you don't hesitate to skinny-dip in any pool you fancy (I don't, but recommend it for you.) Don't prioritize the false stability you once thought you had with brand new companions. Just check them out as possibilities at first and only invest time on people you are attracted naturally and mutually. Your time gets more and more valuable as you get older right?
If they are frighten by you for all the wrong reasons and your apparent life and history, move on and don't try to convince the minds who are scared of things even slightly outside of their daily routine. You deserve a sexy smart gf who can introduce a joker card from her ass pocket anytime she wants to as she can produce a sense of companionship and own you when you are down and in need. We all do from time to time.
Concentrate on turning your ended (note I didn't use 'failed') marriage into an 'experienced man' story/asset. Stay out from deep relationship discussions and run away from dates who indulge on it in early days of dating. You want a woman who wants to romance fuck you after the first sight and try to give them best fuck they ever had (-read mutuality here.)
Enjoy the moment even it does not include another person. Don't get stuck on self pity type of thing and feel sorry. I have a lot of hope for you dickhead! Just be yourself is the best you can do at this age and let people get attracted to that. You have nothing to be afraid of your online persona which I believe your real life self (an asset that makes life less complicated.) You know you have good friends here and that should tell you something positive about yourself. Maintain your color.
Be a torpedo not a shipwreck!
Humans are social animals and nobody is single unless they think they are.
Just in case if meeting people is a problem, I have friends who get laid full time because of 'this' new social reality and they are not complaining either. What is your zip code?
abra love this passage Stay out from deep relationship discussions and run away from dates who indulge on it in early days of dating. You want a woman who wants to romance fuck you after the first sight and try to give them best fuck they ever had (-read mutuality here.)
Boys are generally creatures of habitual curiosity sensopaths who usually like to touch themselves daily between meals (more frequent or hourly if they are at a puberty age, unemployed and living by themselves with a fast connection to red hot internet or when they are designing tall buildings if they are architects.)
It is also known when they are with other boys they test sail each other's wooden ships to make sure they are the one and the same compenaros.. It starts with a pippi show and tell, later, the various size contests, more later a who's got hair check ups and finally who can shoot further in group ceremonies when the parents are away. They establish such fusion with their god given dildo attachments that it becomes the only thing that matters in extreme cases.
To put a time based comparison, it is measured that each boy of all ages spends as much time with their extension as an unpaid intern spends as much hours in a starchitect's boutique office.
A boy is a combination of best of God had to offer on a testosterone filled creative day. Google and inspect "garwondler" to fully understand this mythical touchy feely manifestations of boys' combo organism.
Huh! Where were we?
Okay! Nothing to worry and the ship sails on as early as age 4.
Starting in my mid/late 20s i have consistently rounded up my years/age, both internally (in terms of my self-perception/identity) and externally when questioned.
This year, for the first time, around my birthday i unconsciously went back a year. My SO had to correct me and I wonder, will i ever be 32 now?
Do you feel your age? Do birthdays become more or less, moments of celebration/excitement as you age? How can one embrace maturity without neglecting childhood/like wonder?
time travel is an acquired skill but youthfulness is a gift. You can feel young and old depending on circumstances and both of them are necessary states of what we call our life on earth. Biological age is relevant to wrinkles on your skin but your joy of life is relevant to your state of mind.
Rumi said this, “what you seek is seeking you” perhaps meaning, maybe your youth is also looking for you.
Some times I am really down, I made the turn left when I knew the GPS device was not to be trusted - when are you coming to visit? Can you bring that yoga dog? Maybe he/she will sort it all.
@TED where can i find out more about this yoga dog?
also Abra, i wonder if The Case for Delayed Adulthood made recently in NYT, which uses phrases such as the "malleability of adolescence" and "window of plasticity" speak to your answer/my question at all?
dear TED, just when i was walking the unrulies, we run into this yoga love-in around the corner. the way things looked from our angle, we had to stop and be a part of this beautiful thing... i bet you, there is enough yoga skills you now have, and the girl in red told me she is moving to chi town soon. great friendship might be waiting for you on the lakefront, instead of sleazy joints you are accustemed for the most of your life. probably you need to borrow a pooch from a relative...
Dear Abra
beta- first, don't provoke an attack by standing on the railing waving your arms and flinging stones at the kitty!
i wish i had tiger verticallity
tiger are forever!
ride the tiger
or,
adopt one like i did. meet my tiger spider...
dear abra - I have a set of cds to finish (freelance) but really don't want to continue the project. The client is an old school but I'd like to tell him to fuck off. How to deal with this?
dear abra - I have a set of cds to finish (freelance) but really don't want to continue the project. The client is an old school but I'd like to tell him to fuck off. How to deal with this?
dear techno,
do it the old school way.
"dear old school, i decided to discontinue your miserable project and sending you the copies of entire documents so far in one big roll for your use.
you can either burn them or use it for other purposes without my name, responsibility, liability or authority attached to them.
next time you hire somebody, please remember that these people are professional architects and are not trained to wipe your ass each time you have to go out.
there is an outstanding invoice of my unpaid work included in a separate envelope, which my lawyer will send to collection agency if a cashier's check not messengered to me in 2 business days. good luck and leave me alone. your ideas suck big time." (you might choose to hold the docs until the check is delivered)
i hope it helps. remember one of the basic tenets of the owner architect agreement is termination of the contract by either party is alright as long as notified seven days in advance.
yes, you can also fire the client if they are not performing their responsibilities or continuously making your work difficult.
thanks abra...contacting lawyer asap
dear abra -
i now feel i have the perfect yoga body - practicing 90 minutes of challenging yoga daily - anyone who does yoga on a regular basis will understand what 'the perfect yoga body' means.
but i only now seem to attract married folk - nice - but married. so wondering if i should give up yoga, put on a couple of stone or more, buy a 42" plasma tv, take up smoking, increase my alchohol consumption 3 fold, buy a lazy boy and become real.
yours as always,
TED
dear TED,
forget it!
take up some smoking hashish, increase the alcohol consumption a notch and go to istanbul...
meet asena and tell her "fuck yoga, i love you."
abra
Dear Abra,
I am happy someone bumped this thread!
I have to report to your wisdom the following dilemma: I have no desire to ever become licensed and especially take the LEED exam because I think it's a money making machine out of what should be common sense, although I would like to become an architect somehow and also have a good life.
I have no ambition to go up the ladder yet I have to have recognition. I am expected to give all for a career and I just think it's really just a job.
How do I eat and keep this cake?
Yours tornly,
Chocolate lover
dear ckl,
if you have no desire to ever become licensed architect, you have to make up for that elsewhere. however, it won't hurt you to get a license and call yourself an architect legally.
people who usually rationalize not having a license are the ones who are trying to rationalize their laziness, not making time for it or fear of exam failure, or thinking it is already too late, or not wanting to deal with incredible bureaucracy of licensing dictators.
i know from years of personal procrastination and experience...
you will want to have a license, when a potential client asks you if you have an architect's license to change their lives and physical environments.
i can't say the same thing about LEED, since it is still not clear to me why that has to be a certification subject.
by the way, if you write LEED and spell check, merriam webster gives you LEWD with a meaning of; sexually unchaste, obscene or licentious.
how would you know?
regards to eating;
there are a lot of people in architecture eating gluttonously without cooking anything, but shit will catch up with those people eventually.
Dear Abra,
you're absolutely right, always.
thank you
I keep wondering what happened to that guy on top of the page.
Dear abra,
I've been living in the same c. 1920 house in a suburb of Fairfax, Va for the past 100 years with a variety of two, sometimes three other people. Something I've noticed is that regardless of the nature of the personalities of the other people in the house, the group dynamics seem to work best when there are two and not three other people. This lead me to think that that might be because the design of this house is mired in cartesian geometry, where there is an x, y and z axis of the house and each of the rooms. There is really no way to make the jump from three to four spatial dimensions and thus make it work for four residents. The future of architecture is to be able to accommodate up to four people in space, I think, and this leads to thoughts of how to best design space stations etc. Einstein says there are four dimensions, and I do not contradict this but see a possibility of four entirely spatial dimensions in a tetrahedron. Build your [outer space] houses in the form of a tetrahedron and four people (no more) will work in it. At the very centre you could design a tetrahedral dining table that could seat a maximum of four people eating Kraft Dinner.
As it is, dinner in our house is more animated when there are three, not four people. Adding a 'w' axis to the geometry might be one way to get the fourth person to feel welcome.
The methane molecule is in the form of a tetrahedron and everyone knows that digestive processes generate flatulence, or methane. It would be a very gassy meal at a tetrahedral dining table. In fact this note is just a big fart.
yrs, as ever,
GasCo.
~~~
dear GasCo.,
it sounds like a three dimensional chess playing if you ask me...
like, "fart mate!"
if i were you, i'd serve four different entry's from the kraft collection to have a symphony of essence.
and, of course, less moral minority know foursomes are nothing but selfish exercises dressed in sheep's clothing. i agree, stay with triple decker and share the smell of the roses.
please stay away from methane explosions when the goin' gets porny...
stick with the cartesian geo... and preserve your fart. pardon me...flatulence..
Dear Abracadabra,
Why is it that all vegetarians eat simulated meat (i.e. Boca Burgers, "Kafta" which appears to be made of grass, etc.)? It always seemed to be that the whole point of becoming a vegetarian was due to hatred of meat products in the first place.
Confused Culinatarian
dear Confused Culinatarian,
it usually happens with the *converts in transition... meaning, with the people who had, in the time of their low life days (that's how they usually view carnevour living, once they are switched), the taste of a real beef hot dog, burger or a meatball, real meat in short.
now gone vegie, these people are the worst people to invite to your bbq party. even if you go out of your way to make few vegetarian dishes just for them, these arrogant assholes do not cease to make facial expressions to your beautifully cooked meat plates...
*converts to vegeterianism; people who marry a vegeterian partner and gradually left to their own devices for sexual activity unless they change their eating habits.
australians have a great product called vegimite, a metophoric sister of spam...savory and fullfilling, with epic culture around it... recommended. a true gift from australia to humanity, ahahahhha....
thank you sir. i remember vegemite from when i was in australia. i wouldn't touch that weird stuff with a ten foot pole.
I need some advice...
So I met this girl recently from NYC. I've been visiting her in NYC and this time she visited me in Philly and we lost her camera in a cab. I might be at fault because at some point I was holding her camera. I just took the blame and told her I'll find it or I will buy her a new one. No problem there... except she wants a camera that is twice the value of the one that was lost (and finding a camera lost in a taxi was an impossible task to begin with anyway)...
It wouldn't be a problem to spend that much money on someone I'm close with but I've only known her for so long. So my options are:
A. Just give her the camera she wants and ask nothing in return - and fill up the memory card by replacing all the pictures that were lost by revisiting all the places on my own.
B. Swallow my pride and tell her I'll pay the value of the camera that was lost and she can make up for the difference in cost for the camera she wants.
C. Try my luck at Blackjack and Poker at the casinos to try to pay for the camera
D. Deny it was my fault and refuse to pay for it
I'm leaning towards C then depending on the outcome A or D ...haha...
dear mr. kodak,
non of the above. da answer is "F" . yes, you heard me right... give her the "FunPack". and tell her that is the best you can do and for the time being, if she goes for one, you'll throw in the second one without asking.
make sure to take some piccures...
dear abra,
I lived in Tucson and this college town is too warmer to live. 120o now in the summer. We need your help on how to shield the whole town to a more livable place.
dear abra -
as you know i live in beautiful old london town where the sky is blue every day - so they say.
the problem is that is has pissed down now ....well it seems like forever. it sucks.
well i was going to ditch london for any place[afganastan, iraq, gary in] in august like everyone here does but noooooooooooooooo.....i have to go to chicago! ....that sucks even more.
i need a life. can you fix that?
i a better note, yoga is great. and i got a great yoga body now. i am giving it all up and only doing yoga - now i have found that Bataille who is part of my phd work was into yoga. yes. all the problems of the world would be fixed if everyone did yoga! does obama do yoga?
as always,
TED
dear aridzoner jimmy,
hot dog. you are in luck because you just stumbled upon a subject i recently discussed with my go-to guy christo. here is his pronto...
he can either do the umbrella thing if you guys sign some release forms about accidental deaths etc.
or wrap the whole tuscon with stone washed denim.
your pick.
i asked him about doing a bucky fuller number on it (you know covering the city with bubble) but he said "sure you can, but that is just not going to be a CHRISTO." after that i didn't want to press him any further. i think it is bunch baloney but it will get tuscan in some design blogs nevertheless.
but i think best solution to your problem is by glen small. yes you heard me right. here is a picture of similar solution he proposed to new york. in 1984 he proposed a project called 'jungle theater' in which the buildings were covered with special nets and plants were let the grow on them with water casceding down and everything. of course the idea is now stolen by many come latelies and he is even asked to teach in trendy sci arc where he was a founding member.
Jungle Theatre, 1984
here is an interview with glen small by orhan ayyuce, who usually writes on hollywood buzz and architectural fizz...
hey TED, i'll get back to you after walking mah dogs OK? are you here yet?
dogs over me - so depressing! can't they hold it?
dear TED,
just when i was walking the unrulies, we run into this yoga love-in around the corner. the way things looked from our angle, we had to stop and be a part of this beautiful thing...
i bet you, there is enough yoga skills you now have, and the girl in red told me she is moving to chi town soon. great friendship might be waiting for you on the lakefront, instead of sleazy joints you are accustemed for the most of your life.
probably you need to borrow a pooch from a relative...
dear abra-
what is the best way to celebrate an adult birthday?
dear treekiller,
interesting question. i for one growing up in a culture that didn't celebrate the individual like they do now, have missed a big tradition of birthdays and cakes come with it. on earth we were not more special than lets say, a plant, a rock, a grain of sand or a drop of water, never mind the breath of air...
later on, in my early days, a grown up, an adult, just out of school, surrounded with party people and party condiments, i have start to celebrate my individual existance, a gift to earth, a person with views, opinions and a job. accepting gifts, parties to my honor and lamentations about how jolly i am.
later, i start to realize instead of accepting, i had to give back. so, i adopted a tradition of inviting most of my friends and cook for them on my birthdays with cases of wine, packs of cigarettes and other 'stuff' lasting into the next day and sometimes even longer.
as i started get even older (or younger,) the festivities started to die down and i started to accept no fuss no mass take me out to dinner celebrations on a prime seating hour at 'lawry's prime rib' and have waitresses and beef slicers wish me happy birthday in chorous.
now, coming back 1/2 full circle, i start to think, the best way to celebrate a birthday is to celebrate life in general, with the people closest to you, like your partner in life and rupert and daisy, cook helthy dishes of food for them, enjoy the flickers of light in the sky, coming from distant places, perhaps from parallel life forms in the shape of water drops, grains of sand, earful of sounds...
thinking of better things and saying, "so far so good, thank you..."
Dear Abra-
While I was out at the roller derby with friends last month I met a boy. He was nice, he had a few things in common. It was obvious he was interested, but I wasn't sure.
Then I saw him again last week at a happy hour and talked a little bit more, only to learn I found him incredibly boring and rather simple. I tired to freak him out by going all green/sustainable hippie tree hugger chick on him, but it only seemed to make him more attracted to me. Since the happy hour he's invited me (and a few others) to tomorrow's roller derby as well as out to eat (just me).
Any suggestions on how to let the guy down without hurting his feelings too much?
Signed,
Single ID in the 'Nati
Does he know that you are a crazee-cat-ladee-in-training?
Dear Single ID in the 'Nati,
give the boy a break. sometimes you just do things to give people a chance and viola, you get something totally inexpected and beautiful.
seems like the whole decor was evolved around roller derby for which 'i' had to look in wikipedia!
i'd say change the environment and then see if he is boring in all terrains...
from what i hear, these days, the dating etiquette is to give people couple of chances at least.
but if the guy carry his log like boredom through the dinner, just say you need to go home and take care your two dozen + cats who sleep with you and change the litter. ask him if he wants to help. i guarantee, he won't think twice...
good roll,
abra
Yeah!
dear abra,
my boyfriend offended my mother and friends during my graduation. i know i bitch about my mom to him, but wtf, she is my mom, she only allows me to punch her for my own good.
he told my friend to dress better and get a good job right after my friend graduated with a master's degree. he doesn't even have a high school diploma even though he says he is got one from adult education program. wait that is not all.. he also offended my professor by exposing some inconsistancies in my prof's dissertation on why peanuts crack when chewed by a dog.
hehehe. i am not joking. he is really bright but should i dump him?
signed:
get me a drink please
___________________________________
dear get me a drink please,
i think you should tell him that your mother belongs to you when it comes to family feud that goes way back to middle ages...
i think he might be right about your friend and the professor. sounds like your professor should also study why fish farts are never heard. ask the prof about it...
as far as your bf's hi school diploma goes, ask him if he is interested in an architecture diploma (wood frame) from a reputable university...
now go get a drink and sleep on it for few days before taking any action. you must have been through a lot in one week.
abra.
Abra,
Pausing a minute after such a "busy" couple of weeks is an excellent idea.
Can i get a diploma?
Dear Namhenderson,
Maybe what you need is not a diploma but an academic environment where you can work with people, learn/teach, research, produce work and get a diploma while at it. This is how I see school from student's window. As for the teachers, it is the same, without the diploma and with the salary.
If you are not in school, you still can do it, at the end, you get a license, but you have to work even more and most likely sacrifice for it. But license is more important and trumps all the diplomas. Funny thing about the lic., is that you can have 'the dip.,' but not 'it...'
But any way, yes you can have the dip. It'll cost you few hundred bucks. It is not one of those laminated cheapos but really high end hand made and real deal. It'll look classy with the real embossed seal of BU. They only deal in educational degrees and there is no required studies involved and yes your life experience is credited. PhD is available in more than 200 majors including architecture. I am thinking of getting one on 'Jurisprudence' as soon as I am comfortable pronouncing it. They say, me being Libra would worth a lot of credit... hehe.. I heard some people with money like to get two diplomas, like, one from a related field.
After that, you recommend you call these people.
Abra.
Dear Abra,
Thank you for all your wisdom.
My problem is that I know everything more than the others. Like when everybody can only write a sentence or two about the color of traffic lights, I seem to know at least three pages worth and this knowledge is eating my life away typing and typing all day. What should I do to know less than the others?
Thank you in advance the wise one. And, happy new year.
Rick Wikiman
------------------------------
Dear RW
I have one suggestion for you:
Do try to remember to forget... And get a dog or cat.
abracadabra, faia
Dear Abra,
Lately, now that I am getting divorced, I am feeling that, for the moment, more surface and less depth is the way for the single guy to go. I am wondering if open and honest about the past, as it relates to my online profile - hint, hint - is only going to frighten future dates? Any thoughts about how to re-enter the pool, without jumping in the deep end? 13 Years of marriage and 15 year relationship, scary stuff.
Warmest and Sincerest Regards,
b3ta.
Dear Abra,
Lately, now that I am getting divorced, I am feeling that, for the moment, more surface and less depth is the way for the single guy to go. I am wondering if open and honest about the past, as it relates to my online profile - hint, hint - is only going to frighten future dates? Any thoughts about how to re-enter the pool, without jumping in the deep end? 13 Years of marriage and 15 year relationship, scary stuff.
Warmest and Sincerest Regards,
b3ta.
-----------------------------------------
Dear b3ta,
On the contrary, I maintain older single people usually have more depth than their married counterparts in general. This usually has to do with married people's fixation on the family affairs as a priority and that is a full time job. I applaud those, regardless of the family, still maintain wild and crazy lifestyle, at least a healthy dose of it. As someone in between, who lives with a long time girlfriend, I recommend you don't hesitate to skinny-dip in any pool you fancy (I don't, but recommend it for you.) Don't prioritize the false stability you once thought you had with brand new companions. Just check them out as possibilities at first and only invest time on people you are attracted naturally and mutually. Your time gets more and more valuable as you get older right?
If they are frighten by you for all the wrong reasons and your apparent life and history, move on and don't try to convince the minds who are scared of things even slightly outside of their daily routine. You deserve a sexy smart gf who can introduce a joker card from her ass pocket anytime she wants to as she can produce a sense of companionship and own you when you are down and in need. We all do from time to time.
Concentrate on turning your ended (note I didn't use 'failed') marriage into an 'experienced man' story/asset. Stay out from deep relationship discussions and run away from dates who indulge on it in early days of dating. You want a woman who wants to romance fuck you after the first sight and try to give them best fuck they ever had (-read mutuality here.)
Enjoy the moment even it does not include another person. Don't get stuck on self pity type of thing and feel sorry. I have a lot of hope for you dickhead! Just be yourself is the best you can do at this age and let people get attracted to that. You have nothing to be afraid of your online persona which I believe your real life self (an asset that makes life less complicated.) You know you have good friends here and that should tell you something positive about yourself. Maintain your color.
Be a torpedo not a shipwreck!
Humans are social animals and nobody is single unless they think they are.
Just in case if meeting people is a problem, I have friends who get laid full time because of 'this' new social reality and they are not complaining either. What is your zip code?
All the best and happy new year,
Abra
abra love this passage
Stay out from deep relationship discussions and run away from dates who indulge on it in early days of dating. You want a woman who wants to romance fuck you after the first sight and try to give them best fuck they ever had (-read mutuality here.)
Dear Abra,
Why do boys feel the need to always touch other boys?
Dear Sarah Hamilton,
I hope this is not a family crisis.
Boys are generally creatures of habitual curiosity sensopaths who usually like to touch themselves daily between meals (more frequent or hourly if they are at a puberty age, unemployed and living by themselves with a fast connection to red hot internet or when they are designing tall buildings if they are architects.)
It is also known when they are with other boys they test sail each other's wooden ships to make sure they are the one and the same compenaros.. It starts with a pippi show and tell, later, the various size contests, more later a who's got hair check ups and finally who can shoot further in group ceremonies when the parents are away. They establish such fusion with their god given dildo attachments that it becomes the only thing that matters in extreme cases.
To put a time based comparison, it is measured that each boy of all ages spends as much time with their extension as an unpaid intern spends as much hours in a starchitect's boutique office.
A boy is a combination of best of God had to offer on a testosterone filled creative day. Google and inspect "garwondler" to fully understand this mythical touchy feely manifestations of boys' combo organism.
Huh! Where were we?
Okay! Nothing to worry and the ship sails on as early as age 4.
dear abra,
will GraduatedlLicensure ever become a contender?
dear kram (or is it cramp?)
in order to be a contender one has to contend something.
con·tend struggle to surmount (a difficulty or danger). assert something as a position in an argument.
have a nice week,
abra
Dear abra,
Starting in my mid/late 20s i have consistently rounded up my years/age, both internally (in terms of my self-perception/identity) and externally when questioned.
This year, for the first time, around my birthday i unconsciously went back a year. My SO had to correct me and I wonder, will i ever be 32 now?
Do you feel your age? Do birthdays become more or less, moments of celebration/excitement as you age? How can one embrace maturity without neglecting childhood/like wonder?
Dear Nam,
time travel is an acquired skill but youthfulness is a gift. You can feel young and old depending on circumstances and both of them are necessary states of what we call our life on earth. Biological age is relevant to wrinkles on your skin but your joy of life is relevant to your state of mind.
Rumi said this, “what you seek is seeking you” perhaps meaning, maybe your youth is also looking for you.
All the best,
abra.
Abra, Man - Rumi said this, “what you seek is seeking you” - most profound thing I’ve ever heard – who in the fuck are you?
Dear Abra,
Some times I am really down, I made the turn left when I knew the GPS device was not to be trusted - when are you coming to visit? Can you bring that yoga dog? Maybe he/she will sort it all.
Kind regards
@TED where can i find out more about this yoga dog?
also Abra, i wonder if The Case for Delayed Adulthood made recently in NYT, which uses phrases such as the "malleability of adolescence" and "window of plasticity" speak to your answer/my question at all?
@Nam
See above - July 9, '08....
dear TED,
just when i was walking the unrulies, we run into this yoga love-in around the corner. the way things looked from our angle, we had to stop and be a part of this beautiful thing...
i bet you, there is enough yoga skills you now have, and the girl in red told me she is moving to chi town soon. great friendship might be waiting for you on the lakefront, instead of sleazy joints you are accustemed for the most of your life.
probably you need to borrow a pooch from a relative...
dear TED,
the yoga love appeared and disappeared like a an angel in my urban oasis, and since, i have been looking on the rooftops.
i know its lame but it is better than this this kind of trashy life style i was once living but at least i was beautifully anti yoga.
all the best, ageing has its wisdom.
abra
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