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Should Archinect pay us for all the professional advice, and professional experience given out for free every day.

Wilma Buttfit

Carrera, interesting question, and I'm flattered that you think I might have a good answer, and I hope I do.

When paying a compliment in that setting I would make sure it is specific to the work and not general to the person. For example, "I really like how you laid out the pages in your portfolio, it made it easy for me to see your work." is likely to be received without any ambiguity and is easier to answer than something less specific and open ended like "I have the feeling you are going to soar." which might not be received as well because it is more abstract and less direct and the receiver won't integrate it into her thinking and it will go in one ear and out the other if it is not attached directly to the work. When we work with students for instance, we never tell a student they are smart even if they are. I give specific compliments to encourage specific things, for example, "I like how you worked through that difficult problem by drawing a picture." My words draw attention to the exact behavior that the student did correctly, it activates the right neurons for learning that way and the compliment can help build better processes for that student. If I had said they were smart they might not believe me, or they might think that if they are smart then everything should always be easy and they should stop trying when something is hard.

Also, relationships need to start slow. Coming on too strong makes people think that you are out to get something, even if you aren't. Only if she responds to an initial outreach and a relationship is built can you offer more advice as the relationship grows. As for whether people post their profile to get feedback and help or a magic plane ticket, I honestly don't know.

This conversation reminds me of Grice's maxims of conversational cooperation from linguistics, copied here from wikipedia: 

In social science and linguistics specifically, the cooperative principle describes how people interact with one another. As phrased by Paul Grice who introduced it, it states, "Make your contribution such as it is required, at the stage at which it occurs, by the accepted purpose or direction of the talk exchange in which you are engaged." Though phrased as a prescriptive command, the principle is intended as a description of how people normally behave in conversation.

Listeners and speakers must speak cooperatively and mutually accept one another to be understood in a particular way. The cooperative principle describes how effective communication in conversation is achieved in common social situations.

The cooperative principle can be divided into four maxims, called the Gricean Maxims, describing specific rational principles observed by people who obey the cooperative principle; these principles enable effective communication. Grice proposed four conversational maxims that arise from the pragmatics of natural language. The Gricean Maxims are a way to explain the link between utterances and what is understood from them.

People who obey the cooperative principle in their language use will make sure that what they say in a conversation furthers the purpose of that conversation. Obviously, the requirements of different types of conversations will be different.

The cooperative principle goes both ways: speakers (generally) observe the cooperative principle, and listeners (generally) assume that speakers are observing it. This allows for the possibility of implicatures which are meanings that are not explicitly conveyed in what is said, but that can nonetheless be inferred. For example, if Alice points out that Bill is not present, and Carol replies that Bill has a cold, then there is an implicature that the cold is the reason, or at least a possible reason, for Bill's absence; this is because Carol's comment is not cooperative — does not contribute to the conversation — unless her point is that Bill's cold is or might be the reason for his absence.

Grice's Maxims (the link will take you to Wikipedia)

Maxim of Quality

  1. Do not say what you believe to be false.
  2. Do not say that for which you lack adequate evidence.

Maxim of Quantity

  1. Make your contribution as informative as is required (for the current purposes of the exchange).
  2. Do not make your contribution more informative than is required.

Maxim of Relation

  1. Be relevant.

With respect to this maxim, Grice writes, "Though the maxim itself is terse, its formulation conceals a number of problems that exercise me a good deal: questions about what different kinds and focuses of relevance there may be, how these shift in the course of a talk exchange, how to allow for the fact that subjects of conversations are legitimately changed, and so on. I find the treatment of such questions exceedingly difficult, and I hope to revert to them in later work."

Maxim of Manner

  1. Avoid obscurity of expression.
  2. Avoid ambiguity.
  3. Be brief (avoid unnecessary prolixity).
  4. Be orderly.

--------------

P.S. I like what you say about Talented-Marketable-Compatible, it is like a 3 legged stool, all three supports must be in balance. I think young architects spend a lot of time in from of the screen when that is only a part of what their work encompasses. I don't know what to do about that. 

Aug 15, 14 3:14 pm  · 
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Archinect doesn't need to pay us but Mikey_G and his dogtrot hyphen house certainly should.
Aug 15, 14 4:07 pm  · 
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CD.Arch
Lol Donna. Honestly is knowing what to call your house good for anything besides saying "Yeah, my house is a dogtrot hyphen mix" at dinner parties?
Aug 15, 14 4:28 pm  · 
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I'm a little older than most recent college grads, so I don't have much skin in this game.  However, I've grown up with the internet and have frequented forums and message boards for various hobbies, sports, etc. for years and I cannot remember one in which this question was seriously discussed.  I admit I may have missed those discussions in other forums, but it's kind of a weird question to ask in an open forum where even if you're the one regularly doling out info, you're bound to learn something new in return.  Regarding internet protocol in responding to compliments: if it's not solicited, it means you want something (even if you don't)...  Furthermore, as one who just completed school, I can't say I know anyone personally on Archinect, so it may be that students put their info on here to get their names out and help with the job hunt, but online discussions are of no interest.  Personally I enjoy reading people's musings, and their perspectives on different issues, so as soon as I discovered Architect had a fairly active forum I started posting.  And if I ever have something smart to say that may lead to a million dollar idea, I'll just be disappointed I wasn't the one to put things together...

Aug 15, 14 4:39 pm  · 
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Carrera

Tint, Holy Smokes! No wonder I’m having problems! What you prescribe is like a science project. Seriously, this is really intense stuff and I had no idea of the complexity involved. It explains clearly to me why I’ve been so perplexed by my observations of social interactions, written and verbal. I’ve been to a myriad of cocktail parties and nobody has this manual in their purse or breast pocket. I guess if you haven’t read it or studied it you just press blah, blah, blah and its acceptable social behavior. I don’t believe that anyone in this Forum knows this stuff accept you and Donna.

Jesus, what class did I miss? I cut this out and am going to study it frequently. I guess I learned so far that it matters how you lead into something as to what you will get back out of something, but I can’t help feeling that if I’m the only guy in the room with the manual I’m still only going to get blah, blah, blah back. But I’m still going to put it to a test.

I can’t thank you enough for this. I still think it’s a good idea to sic GraduateLicensure on to her, just for fun (smiling).

Aug 15, 14 4:48 pm  · 
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curtkram

carrera, you might be too hard on the kid (if kid is appropriate for the person....)

i think tint's maxims and your assumptions are based on 2-way communication.  if you're talking to someone in real life or even on the phone, there is an expectation that they hear and understand what you're saying.  even on the forums, you can say 'tint, how are you' and at some point in the future tint responds and says 'fine,' so you know there is a dialogue.  in that situation, perhaps you're correct in thinking the student should have responded to you.  i would agree with you, and having you as a contact in the region could only benefit her.

in this case, you were essentially cold calling.  it could have been an old portfolio with an abandoned account linked to it.  maybe she was on vacation and your message got lost with too much other white noise.  maybe the contact information associated with this portfolio got inundated with spam, so she isn't able to adequately filter it anymore.  there are probably a hundred other possibilities that could suggest that there wasn't really a chance for communication.  it's also possible there was lack of trust, and she thought you were a 419 scammer.

you could certainly say that when a person publishes an account in that way they should be mindful of it and keep the contact information up to date, but it isn't like posting an ad in the newspaper with your phone number on it.  there are so many different outlets, and multiple email accounts with different sorts of social media attached (you need a facebook for friends and family, but a different one for professional settings, your linkedin friends are different than your pintrest friends, etc.) that it can really be hard to manage it all.  in that case, while it's still a faux pas and perhaps unprofessional, it's really just a simple mistake kids can make rather than 'kids today don't have manners' or whatever.

i would add to that, there isn't any way for the kids today to learn how to keep organized in a connected world like we have today.  the whole thing, social structure and all, is just too new, there isn't anyone to teach them, so they have to learn by making mistakes.  and that's ok.

tl;dr, it might not be about accepting a compliment.  it could just be bad management of social media.

Aug 15, 14 5:06 pm  · 
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Carrera

Curt, thank you for the other half of the equation, I did consider this first. I think you bring up a big issue but these “kids”, as you put it, need to be mindful of what they are doing. This idea of broadcasting themselves across the universe is folly, one still needs to pick-up-the-phone when it rings and if one can’t find the phone all is lost.

I looked back at my email to this kid and Tint is right I did it somewhat incorrectly and it’s partly my fault, but what’s done is done and I’ll never get it out of my mind. It did do damage. Even if it got lost in space she did cut off a branch. With true respect for Tint’s teachings, even if someone comes at you on the wrong horse there are ways of salvaging the offering to ones benefit.

At an interview what are you going to do if you are a woman and the guy foolishly asked you whither you have kids, are you going to jump up and storm off? No, you redirect the question and salvage the conversation. With respect again, this isn’t Rocket Science its human interaction and there is ebb and flow to any conversation.

Thanks for the input

Aug 15, 14 6:26 pm  · 
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Wilma Buttfit

Carrera, I learned about maxims of conversation in a linguistics class. I didn't mention, and perhaps should have, that maxims are often broken, and when they are there are reasons behind it. When interpreting behavior, we often attribute it to attitudes when in fact behaviors are often situational. In other words, behaviors more often come from situations than attitudes. So the next time you want to categorize someone's behavior (road rage, shitty waitress, someone not responding to you on archinect) just remember, it is likely a situation rather than their attitude that is driving behavior. ug, just reread, sorry that could be better written, but I'm tirred...

Aug 15, 14 7:26 pm  · 
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Good points there tint and Curt and Carerra.

Aug 15, 14 10:39 pm  · 
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Many of the situations tint refers to exist in the past and influence one's behavioral in the present. If you are fully conscious you may be able to recognize your programming and choose a behavior. If not, you are running on autopilot.

Aug 15, 14 11:37 pm  · 
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Miles Jaffe,

Sort of... I would say because human beings are constantly reprogramming itself (usually in small ways) with every new experience but some experiences have deeper impact on people's behavioral manner.

We are not exactly like digital computers.

Aug 15, 14 11:48 pm  · 
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Wilma Buttfit

It is complex, behaviors-attitudes-situations. Plenty of stuff for another thread. Many would say it is not relevant to architecture, although I disagree.

Should architects formally study social psychology and human behavioral sciences? 

Aug 16, 14 8:34 am  · 
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It is definitely related from another lense of view. It can be argued and important framework to understand... say..... domesticity and how people live as it pertains to residential living or also as it may apply to places of social gathering. 

Often it would be something we would formally study to some degree in the general education component of a bachelor's degree. Whether formally taught or self-directed learned through the aid of peers... it gives insight into the subject matter.

These elements are inadvertantly part of my geography studies (particularly human/cultural geography).

Aug 16, 14 10:04 am  · 
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Carrera

Tint, “should we formally study….?”. Evidently so.

This is about architecture – business and the OP signed-off, otherwise I wouldn’t have diverted. I suppose I could have sent my story to you via email but we all know what would have happened then (LOL). My post to you was completely unsolicited, you didn’t know me and it contained things you didn’t know what to do with, yet you said you were “flattered” and found a way to respond. I think Curt’s Maxim is in play. I wonder if I had sent you an email if you would have responded. There is something about email. I recently emailed an old friend with a short question and he emailed back a short answer. While waiting for the answer I remembered it was his birthday so after his answer I thanked him and gave him a typed-out French BD greeting (he’s French decent) and I didn’t get any response. I’m not mad about it, just perplexed by it. If I had done this face-to-face or over-the-phone he would have said “thank you”.

I find this Forum amazing. In all other media, email, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, all that is being exchanged are burping utterances with pictures of plates of food. Nobody mails letters or uses the phone that much. All that’s left is face-to-face and (other than business conversations) we all know how that goes. I’m glad to freely give my advice and secrets here it’s a small price to pay for mental solace.

Aug 16, 14 11:25 am  · 
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CD.Arch
It is an architect's job to know how people react to the built environment so that as a whole, architecture can continue moving forward and making advancements in the buildings that are created. We found out that no one likes darkness, but enjoy natural light so what happened? Architecture started moving towards more open social environments, utilizing more windows and openness. So perhaps it should be part of architectural education to study human behavior more.
Aug 16, 14 1:22 pm  · 
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Carrera

There is a good book by Stephen Kellert FAIA called Building for Life: Designing and Understanding the Human-Nature Connection. He also did a film called Biophilic Design – The Architecture of Life. He’s Founding Partner of KieranTimberlake and Co-Authored, Loblolly House: Elements of a New Architecture, he designed Loblolly and I herd him speak years ago at the infancy of his human-architecture research when he was at The University of Michigan. Love reading his stuff and listening to him he’s not esoteric; he makes it easy and is fun and just fascinating.

Aug 16, 14 2:04 pm  · 
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Carrera

I hasten to add - Now there’s a real architect guys. Someone who delves into his work and spreads what he learns far and wide. He’s an activist on the human condition and how to make it better through architecture, which should be a template for all architects.

Aug 16, 14 2:25 pm  · 
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Carrera

Back on the subject of “Free”. Richard and others look at what this guy is doing. For a small concern or sole practitioner this is smart. Look at his business card (scroll down a little). He says elsewhere:

“I often do projects that may entail only a few hours of consulting. It’s a great way to get my name and reputation out there. It’s like advertising where they pay you which is even better than free. Consulting often leads to larger jobs and is a great way to try out the relationship. I do a $250 consult service where people hire me for just a few hours of on-site brainstorming. This only adds up to a few thousand dollars per year but really showcases what an architect can do for someone who might not otherwise have considered hiring an architect. The $250 consult cards around town are also much more effective advertising than simple business cards.”

I’m pondering starting a thread on the subject of Tint’s “Candle Lighting”, that’s exactly what this guy is doing and getting reimbursed for it. Tint, can I have your permission to start this? I will give full credit and ask you to join me in the discussion, or do you want to do it?

http://swinburnearchitect.com/wordpress/?page_id=1184

Aug 16, 14 3:45 pm  · 
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Wilma Buttfit

I think a $250 on-site consult is an absolutely wonderful idea. I have done something similar as an unlicensed designer. I measured a space and left a sketch of a design all while I was there, 2.5 hours and $250 was exactly how it went down. If I could do that all day long, I would. Why do you think this isn't a model you see often? Reminds me of a housing inspector, they come in for 2 or 3 hours and leave you a report and you pay them $250-300. Surely architects and designers can provide services at this scale too. 

And you don't need my permission to do anything, carrera, do what you please. 

Aug 16, 14 5:13 pm  · 
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Wilma Buttfit

Carrera, how about your new thread is where people can ask YOU advice? You seem to have lots of knowledge. I don't need any credit for anything, by the way. 

Aug 16, 14 5:25 pm  · 
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Carrera

Tint, Thank you for the compliment. I did that about a month ago on a particular subject, it went pretty well, had 41 posts and 2 thumbs-up. Really new here but have learned that threads wane pretty fast, better to just float around and jump-in when I can do some good, which has been probably too frequent, but its too much fun.

The $250 consult of course isn’t a new idea but I think it’s a new model for architects. This site I frequent is by an architect promoting entrepreneurial spirits among small architectural firms and did a pod cast on how small firms should shy away from small work. This guy I directed you to wrote an article there on why not to do that, offering his Blog as an example on how to do it successfully. Surely architects should but I do not think that that they do.

Aug 16, 14 8:27 pm  · 
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